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Re-Watch Collection Part 8: The New Blood.
The Fugitive (1993)
This film is a classic of the action thriller genre, and a remake of an old 1960s TV show to boot. Directed by Andrew Davis (Under Siege) and written by David Twohy (Pitch Black), it has become an example of how to do this genre correctly.
Vascular surgeon Dr Richard Kimble (Harrison Ford) returns home from being called into surgery to find his wife Helen (Sela Ward) has been fatally wounded but an intruder. He fights with the man, who has only one arm, who we later find out is security expert Sykes (Andreas Katsulas), but he escapes. Kimble is then arrested for her murder due to the absence of forced entry. He is later falsely convicted and receives a death sentence.
During transportation to death row, fellow prisoners attempt an escape resulting in the bus they’re on crashing. Kimble does his best to help the injured and escapes himself before a train crashes into the bus. He is on the run. This is when U.S. Marshal Sam Gerard (Tommy Lee Jones in his Oscar winning performance) and his team are called in to track and capture Kimble. But Kimble is extremely intelligent and uses his knowledge of human nature and hospitals to aid in his escape and track down the persons responsible for his wife’s death and his conviction. To his end, he heads back to Chicago, and with a little help from Dr Charles Nichols (Jeroen Krabbe) and Dr Wahlund (Jane Lynch), and sets up to find the truth and avoid capture. The twist is a nice one too.
Ford is amazing to watch in this film and he holds your attention when he is on screen. Jones is just the icing on the cake, and almost steals the show. But it’s Gerard’s team and their inactions that I love. Joe Pantoliano, Daniel Roebuck, L. Scott Caldwell, and Tom Wood play Cosmo, Biggs, Poole and Newman respectively, and it’s a character actor buffet. Julianne Moore even pops up in a small role.
Davis’s direction, especially the action sequences, are well executed. The damn sequence alone is awesome. Michael Chapman’s camera knows where best to be and James Newton Howard’s score is beyond iconic. I must for anyone who knows what a ‘movie’ is.
U.S. Marshals (1998)
You have a hit, you make a sequel, and in 1998, The Fugitive got just that. U.S. Marshals is an action thriller directed by Stuart Baird and written by John Pogue and features Sam Gerard and his team of US Marshalls tracking down another fugitive.
After a car accident, Mark Sheridan (Wesley Snipes) is arrested leaving the hospital as his girlfriend Marie (Irene Jacob) is picking him up. There is a federal warrant out for his arrest for the murder of two federal agents, his fingerprints left at the scene. He is set to be flown back to New York where the murders took place.
After Sam (Tommy Lee Jones) and his team take down a pair of fugitives in Chicago, and as a result of a bit of excessive force, Sam has to fly on the prison transport to New York. The same flight Sheridan is on. And after a failed assassination against Sheridan fails, the plane crashes. Sheridan is out and on the run. He is on a mission to clear his name.
Sam and his team, along with DSS Special Agent John Royce (Robert Downey Jr.), hunt down Sheridan and along the way find out there is a plot to sell secrets to the Chinese government through a Chinese diplomat Xiang Chen (Michael Paul Chan), and a frame job against Sheridan.
The action in the film is quite well done. It is amped up a little from the original film due to the spy element and Snipes’ martial arts credentials. The stunt work is on par with the original too. The jump from a building to a subway train is a prime example. The cat and mouse intrigue is handled well too, and doesn’t go into parody or fantasy. Jerry Goldsmith’s score seals the deal.
All the members of Sam’s team return, Joe Pantoliano, Daniel Roebuck and Tom Wood, but L. Scott Caldwell is replaced with LaTanya Richardson’s Cooper character. And they are amazing as always. Kate Nelligan has a small role as Sam’s boss Walsh who is a force to be reckoned with, and Patrick Malahide as Lamb is his slimy best. There is a little tragedy in the film, but it stands as an example of a good sequel.
The Transporter (2002)
Apart from being a film director, Lus Besson has made a career writing and producing hyper-realistic action movies for over two decades. And none are more iconic than the Transporter franchise. The original, directed by Louis Leterrier with fight scenes handled by Corey Yuen, introduces us to British mercenary driver and ex-special forces soldier Frank Martin (Jason Statham) who lives in France and lives by three very specific rules. 1) Never change the deal, 2) No names, and 3) Never Open the Package.
When Frank, who is known only by The Transporter to his clients, is hired to deliver a package weighing 50 kilograms (110lb) to Darren ‘Wall Street’ Bettencourt (Matt Schulze), he breaks his own third rule after the package in the trunk starts making very human noises. Looking inside he finds a bound and gagged Asian woman named Lai (Shu Qi). Not wanting to get involved, Frank delivers the package. Before he leaves, he is given another package to deliver. Which blows up his car while he is getting refreshments. Frank, now on the warpath, heads back to Bettencourt’s mansion, takes out the thugs and rescues Lai, albeit reluctantly.
And then the bad guys blow up his house. So, he then helps Lai take down Bettencourt and her father Kwai (Ric Young) who are smuggling people into Europe through France in cargo containers. And he gets a little help from Police Inspector Tarconi (Francois Berleand), who believes his story and gives him all the time he can for Frank to bring down the bad guys with cars, trucks, feet and fists and rescue Lai and the trapped trafficked people.
Before the Fast and the Furious franchise when all bombastic, realism bending action films became ‘cartoons for adults’, we had the Transporter. The action and chase sequences are breathtaking, with the open chase through Paris a highlight. But it’s the Corey Yuen choreographed fights that are the remembered moments, full of kinetic energy and imagination. None more so than the fight in the mechanics where Frank uses motor oil and bike pedals to great effect. It’s not going to win any awards, but this fun popcorn movie gets the blood pumping and has enough memorable moments for rewatches and sequels.
The Transporter 2 (2005)
Director Louis Leterrier and writer producer Luc Besson (along with writing partner Rober Mark Kamen) returned for the 2005 sequel, inventively named The Transporter 2. Jason Statham returns as merc driver Frank Martin.
This time, Frank has taken on a favour to his old friend Tony, and becomes the temporary chauffeur for the wealthy Billings family in Miami, Florida. Frank quickly bonds with their son Jack (Hunter Clary), whom he drives to and from school, while playing a riddle game. Their bonding may have something to do with the marriage of Jefferson and Audrey Billings (Matthew Modine & Amber Valletta) being on the rocks due to the stress over Jefferson’s high-profile government job. Frank is preparing for the weekend with friend Inspector Tarconi (Francois Berleand) coming to town. But when Frank has to take Jack to the doctors for a check-up, Tarconi makes his way to Frank’s apartment.
At the doctor’s office, thugs masquerading as medical staff, lead by Lola (Kate Nauta), try to inject Jack with a mysterious liquid. Frank engages in fist-to-cuffs, and manages to escape with Jack. Only later to be forced at gunpoint by Lola to drive Jack to her boss Gianni Chellini (Alessandro Gassmann). Jack is taken and Frank is made to drive away with a bomb under his car. The authorities believe Frank to be involved in Jack’s kidnapping, and even detain Tarconi, who spends the rest of his vacation in US Marshal’s offices.
Jack is later released, but he has been injected with a virus which will infect all around him, and those around them. His dad’s government job will give the virus an interesting playground. It’s up to Frank to kick the bad guys butt’s, retrieve the antidote and clear his name.
The story is a more personal one than the previous, which raises the stakes on a narrative level, as does the ‘ticking clock’ plot element. The action is on top form again. The doctor’s office fight and the confrontation on a plane at the end are major highlights, in a film made of action highlights. The villain is slimy and portrayed well by Gassmann, as is his right-hand Lola, Nauta in unhinged femme fatale mode. Popcorn flick with more heart than the original.
The Transporter 3 (2008)
For the third film in the franchise, a new director took over from Louis Leterrier, who was busy playing in the MCU. In stepped a man with the coolest name ever, Olivier Megaton, of Taken 2 & 3 fame. And, of course Luc Besson is back with his producing and writing hats on.
Jason Statham reprises his role as Frank Martin, who has returned to France to continue his low-key business of delivering packages without question. After fishing with Inspector Tarconi (Francois Berleand), a Black Audi crashes through the front of Frank’s house driven by his friend Malcom (David Atrakchi), who Frank recommended for a job after he turned it down. This job, it turns out. The paramedics arrive and take Malcom away, just as Frank discovers a woman in the backseat. She tells him that the bracelets they are both wearing will explode if they move too far away from the car. Malcom and the ambulance go ‘BOOM’ and a thug knocks Frank out.
When the lights come back on, Frank is confronted by Johnston (Robert Knepper), who fits Frank with a Boom Boom bracelet, modifies his car, and strongarms him into driving himself and the girl Valentine (Natalya Rudakova) to Bucharest. Johnston has been hired to get a Ukrainian Politician Leonid Vasilev (Jeroen Krabbe, not playing a villain for once), to renegotiate with a corrupt company dumping toxic waste. And they kidnap his daughter, Valentine, to force him to do it.
Frank gets Johnston thugs after him when he veers off course to get rid of the bracelets. Also, Vasilev has sent agents after Frank, not knowing about the Boom Boom bracelets. So, while Tarconi is working with the Ukrainian authorities, Frank must stay alive and un-exploded, avoid pursuers, kick the bad guys in the nuts, save the girl and the day.
The action here is turned up to 11. And it is a sight to behold. The finale on a train is pure physics bending eye candy. The film never lets up and pushes the ‘high octane’ moniker for all its worth. Knepper is the perfect villain for the trilogy’s end and Rudakova is wonderful in her first film role. Those freckles will make you melt. As always, Statham is the man.
The Transporter Refueled (2015)
This 2015 action film serves as a reboot of the Transporter franchise. Directed by Cammille Delamarrem written by Bill Collage, Adam Cooper, and Luc Besson (also returning for producing duties), it recasts our hero and ups the adventure/James Bond qualities of the previous entries.
Frank Martin Jr. (Ed Skrein) lives in France and acts as a mercenary driver and transport expert, full of fist to cuffs and thrilling car chases. He has a strained but friendly relationship with his father Frank Martin Sr. (the late Ray Stevenson), a retired special agent.
When Frank takes a job from the mysterious femme fatale Anna (Loan Chabanol) and her crew of ex-sex slaves Gina, Maria and Qiao (Gabriella Wright, Tatjana Pajkovic & Yu Wenxia) hell bent on taking down their former captures, now a major crime syndicate, led by Arkady Karasov (Radivoje Bukvic), He quickly finds he is in over his head. Fearing Frank not helping past the initial transport job from their bank heist, the girls kidnap Frank Sr and hold him to ensure Frank’s cooperation.
After Frank finds out they are up against Karasov, whom Frank has a history (and not a pleasant one), and hearing the girl’s story, he and his dad (in smooth super spy mode) help the girls kick ass and make all that is wrong right again. But our heroes do pay a price.
Honestly, I actually like this flick. It got me excited like the first Statham entry did. Cool characters (sometimes just a ‘type’) are written well and acted more so. The film is full of ‘mini-missions’ the girls and the Martin boys have to go on to achieve their final goals, and it feels like a more fleshed out story than the two previous sequels. The traumatised girls not trusting Frank is a nice piece of character development that is not usually included in these films. And Ray Stevenson is flawlessly cool in the role of Frank Sr. I would have liked to have seen the film with him and Skrein and father and son. Where the film falls down is weakly written, almost clichéd villains. But there is enough action, high-speed vehicle carnage to plaster over the flaws. And yes, I rate this higher than 2 & 3.
Jack Reacher (2012)
Jack Reacher is a 2012 action thriller from writer-director Christopher McQuarrie based on Lee Child’s Jack Reacher novel One Shot.
In Pittsburgh, a sniper shoots dead six people one morning from a parking structure and flees the scene. Police investigations use the evidence and soon Ex-military sniper James Barr (Joseph Sikora) is in custody. He says nothing in interrogation, but writes the words, ‘Get Jack Reacher’ on a legal pad. Meanwhile, in Miami, Jack Reacher (Tom Cruise) , seeing the news report on television, makes his way to Pittsburgh to fulfill a promise to put Barr away if he ever steps out of line again.
Upon arriving Reacher meets Detective Emerson and DA Rodin (David Oyelowo & Richard Jenkins) to talk about the case. He asks to see Barr, but he was beaten in police custody and is in a coma. He meets Barr’s attorney Helen Rodin (Rosamund Pike). She convinces him to look into the case as they both feel there is something that doesn’t make sense. Soon, thugs target Reacher, which he uses his military training to avoid or knock down. Reacher’s involvement is of a concern to the mysterious crime lord known only as The Zec (Werner Herzog) and his unhinged second in command Charlie (Jai Courtney). They try to take Reacher out of the picture and stop his own investigation every way they can from intimidation, direct attack, and framing for murder. When they kidnap Helen, Reacher goes on the attack. And God isn’t helping these guys. Oh, and Robert Duvall plays the small role of Cash, the owner of a shooting range that helps Reacher out.
This film is a pretty good action thriller, and is put together better than you would expect. Especially considering fans of the book series bad-mouthed the movie for the casting of Cruise. But McQuarrie’s film is a taught film. The cinematography by Caleb Deschanel is a true experience. He makes a rock quarry look like art. The fight scenes are some of the most accurate and well shot I’ve seen. And the unique use of camera work during the chase scenes will leave an impression. In the end it is the performances that sell the film. And sell it did. I bought it.
Jack Reacher: Never Go Back (2016)
When you have a hit, especially one based on a series of books featuring the same character, you make a sequel. And that is exactly what happened. Jack Reacher: Never Go Back is an action thriller directed by Edward Zwick, which he co-wrote with Richard Wenk and Marshall Herskovitz, based on Lee Child’s novel Never Go Back.
After helping the 110th US Army CID Military Police, his old unit, take down a corrupt sheriff engaged in human trafficking on land owned by the US Army, Reacher (Tom Cruise) heads to Washington D.C. to actually meet Major Susan Turner (Cobie Smulders), who Reacher collaborated with via the phone on the case. Upon reaching his destination, he finds out that Truner has been arrested and imprisoned for espionage. Seems evidence has turned up showing Turner was involved in the murder of two Military investigators in Afghanistan. Smelling a rat, Reacher starts looking into it. In doing so, he finds out that he may have a daughter named Samantha (Danika Yarosh), who he also checks in on. After a man known only as The Hunter (Patrick Heusinger) kills Turner’s lawyer Colonel Moorcroft (Robert Catrini), Reacher is framed and sent to the same prison as Turner, escorted by MP Espin (Aldis Hodge). Reacher breaks out both himself and Turner, and they start tracking down those responsible. When they get too close, another MP is killed, framing them both and puts a target on their back and that of Reacher’s maybe daughter Sam. The three go on the run from Espin and the MPs and the bad guys led by Gen. Harkness (Robert Knepper) who runs a private military security company. And to this end, our trio head to New Orleans for the climax.
I wanted to like this film; I really did. But it just didn’t land as well as the first. Even though there is a lot going on, it seems slowly paced. There seems to be too much and too little going on at the same time. I don’t know how that happened. Oliver Wood’s cinematography makes every look great, and Henry Jackman’s score does most of the heavy lifting. Everyone except for our three leads is bland. Basically, an expensive TV movie.
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Exploiting Wonderland – Films With Friends Collection Part 08: “Oops! I Did It Again”.
Evil Dead Rise (2023)
Evil Dead Rise is a supernatural horror film from writer director Lee Cronin and is the fifth film in the Evil Dead franchise. It is not a reboot or remake, but a standalone entry in the same ‘universe’ as previous films. Rob Tapert returns as producer and Sam Raimi and Bruce Campbell are executive producers.
After a great little pre-credits sequence that takes place in the woods complete with an ominous cabin, the film shifts to Los Angeles. Guitar technician Beth (Lily Sullivan) visits her sister Ellie (Alyssa Sutherland) and her three kids, teenagers Bridget and Danny (Gabrielle Echols & Morgan Davis) and pre-teen Kassie (Nell Fisher), in their apartment in the recently condemned Monde Apartments Building. While the estranged sisters talk about their recent issues, the kids are sent to get pizza. When they return, whilst in the basement parking lot, an earthquake hits, uncovering a hole in the basement floor leading to an old vault, as the building used to be a bank. Danny goes down and finds religious artifacts, three phonograph records, and a mysterious book. He takes them, hoping they could financially benefit the family.
Upon playing the records, an old priest’s voice is heard reading from the mysterious book, one of the three volumes of the Naurom Demonto , the book of the dead. The book flies open and the pages flip between images as an evil force is released and possesses Ellie. She is now a deadite. As she terrorises the rest of the people in apartments on her floor, and her family, they begin to turn into demonically possessed deadites. Beth must battle the undead forces and save as much of her family as she can.
This film is an entertaining and harrowing ride. The direction, Dave Garbett’s cinematography, Stephen McKeon’s freaky score, and the reliance on practical and make-up effects created an uneasy and creepy atmosphere throughout. The gore is impressive, as are the performances from the two female leads Sullivan and Sutherland. There are some thematic call backs to previous films too. The design of the ‘book’ is great. I would like to see more standalone like this. Exceptional horror. And yes, there is a chainsaw.
Creepiest line: “Mommy’s with the maggots now”
Batman: Gotham By Gaslight (2018)
Batman: Gotham By Gaslight is an adult themed animated superhero film from Warner Bros. Animation and DC Comics. Directed by Sam Liu and written by Jim Krieg, it is based on an Elseworlds graphic novel created by Brian Augustyn and Mike Mignola that reimagines Batman in a Victorian-era Gotham City as he fights crime.
In this old-world Gotham, a mysterious killer of women nicknamed ‘Jack The Ripper’ by the newspapers has been terrorising the city. Police Commissioner James Gordon and Chief of Police Harvey “Bulldog” Bullock (Scott Patterson & John DiMaggio) have no leads. At the preview for the rich and powerful at the Gotham City World’s Fair, stage actress Selina Kyle (Jennifer Carpenter) berates them both for their indifference to the deaths of the poor and destitute women of the city.
Bruce Wayne/Batman (Bruce Greenwood) are looking into the killings. It is a case close to him as Sister Leslie, who runs an orphanage and sanctuary for women, was someone who cared for him after his parents died. On numerous occasions both Batman and Selina Kyle/Catwoman encounter Jack, but are unable to take him down. They speculate that he has had military training, is a boxer, and has had medical training, possibly a doctor. The investigation takes them to the Dionysus Club, the Gotham Cathedral and cemetery, Arkham Asylum, and finally the Gotham World Fair. Where they both square off against the infamous serial killer. And if you are not familiar with the story, you wouldn’t see the ending coming.
The film in story and visuals, takes a lot from the Jack the Ripper case, the H.H. Holmes case, Hammer Horror films, and the tales of Sherlock Holmes by Arthur Conan Doyle. And while the animation does show the killings graphically on screen, there is a darkness to the violence and the dialogue that elevates the story being told. Also, a shout out to the fight scenes in the film. The animated sequences move through fighting styles like various martial arts, boxing and street brawling with an eye to believability. The final fight is a highlight. DC does serial killer fiction. It’s chilling and exciting and masterfully done. And Anthony Stewart Head voicing Alfred. So extra cool.
The Pope’s Exorcist (2023)
The Pope’s Exorcist is a 2023 supernatural horror film directed by Julius Avery and written by Michael Petroni and Evan Spiliotopoulos. The films is based on the books, 1990’s An Exorcist Tells His Story and 1992’s An Exorcist: More Stories by Father Gabriele Amorth, who indeed did work as the chief exorcist to the Vatican, being appointed to the position in 1986.
In the film, Father Amorth (Russell Crowe) is a down-to-Earth man, humorous, a little cheeky, practical and a learned man who rides a red scooter. In the opening scene, Amorth performs an exorcism not sanctioned by the church and is brought to a tribunal, with many of the younger cardinal’s sceptical of demonic possession. Amorth tells them most possessions are just disturbed or mentally ill people who can be cured with a little theatre.
In Spain, an American family, mother Julia (Alexandra Essoe), and her two children Amy (Laurel Marsden) and Henry (Peter DeSouza-Feighoney) have taken possession of an old Spanish abbey they wish to renovate and sell. They are all still traumatised by the death of their husband and father a year earlier. Soon after arriving at the house, Henry roams the abbey, comes across a hole in a basement wall, containing a religious seal that is broken. He begins to act strangely. The boy is possessed. After the local priest Father Esquibel (Daniel Zovatto) is thrown through a door, he requests help. And that is when Father Amorth enters their lives. The exorcist soon discovers the possession is real and sets about trying to save the boy and the family from the demonic presence in the house with the help of Father Esquibel. They uncover a long-held secret the Vatican buried.
The possessed rival The Exorcist, with practical make-up effects and CGI enhancing the scares and the sense of dread and tension. Crowe is on form here, playing a character you want to follow and see succeed. An unsung hero of the cloth, if you will. The story, like The Conjuring films, holds a little more psychological weight knowing they were based on real events, well, to a point anyway. DeSouza-Feighoney is damn impressive as Henry and Franco Nero plays The Pope. A flawed but decent and entertaining effort.
Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom (2023)
Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom is a 2023 action-adventure superhero film from director James Wan, writer David Leslie Johnson-McGoldrick, DC Comics and Warner Bros.
In the five years since we saw him last, Aquaman/Arthur Curry (Jason Momoa) was crowd king of Atlantis, got married to Mera (Amber Heard), has a son named Arthur Jr., and he and Mera split their time between the surface world and the underwater kingdoms. This is also personified in Arthur’s parents, Tom (Temuera Morrison) on and his mother Atlanna (Nicole Kidman) give aid and advice in not only raising a child of both worlds, but also with responsibilities of ruling a massive hidden world.
While all this is going on, David Kane/Black Manta (Tahya Abdul-Mateen II), has been looking for abandoned Atlantean technology in the hopes of fixing his power suit so he can take his revenge on Aquaman and his home. He is aided by a crew led by his second in command Stingray (Jani Zhao) and Dr Stephen Shin (Randall Park) who just wants to be proven right about his Atlantis theories. What this finds is the lost kingdom of Necrus frozen in the ice. They awaken the evil inside when Kane finds the Black Trident and is possessed by the spirit of the King Kordax (Pilou Asbaek) whose revenge matches Kane’s. The bad guy’s plot is to use an ancient abandoned fuel source Orichalcum, to heat the planet quickly to free Necrus, and use Atlantean royal blood to break the spell imprisoning Kordax and his army. Arthur breaks his brother Orm (Patrick Wilson) out of prison to help, and an element of the buddy cop film is introduced. When baby Arthur Jr. is kidnapped, the whole weight of the seven kingdoms descends on the bad guys.
This film is fun. But it is not going to reinvent the genre. Wan is excellent behind the camera, Rupert Gregson-Williams score fits perfectly, the two leads and the villains are excellent, and there are even good moments for Dolph Lundgren and Martin Short. While I liked this film, some won’t. It is very derivative of The Matrix, Star Wars and Lord of the Rings. The visuals, humour and message make it a solid effort.
Babylon 5: The Road Home (2023)
Babylon 5: The Road Home is a 2023 direct-to-video animated film from director Matt Petters, writer/producer J. Michael Straczynski (the original series creator) and Warner Bros Animation.
After the events of the Shadow War, President of the Interstellar Alliance John Sheriden (Bruce Boxleitner) and his wife Mimbari ambassador Delenn, have officially relocated to Mimbar. While opening a new power station as part of his ceremonial duties, Sheridan starts to experience weird Déjà vu. When he finds out that the power station uses tachyons as a power source, he begins to panic. In the events of the season 3 two-parter “War Without End”, Sheridan became ‘unstuck’ in time, as his close proximity to the tachyon engine when it is activated, he disappears, becoming unstuck in time again. But unlike last time, Sheridan is also ‘slightly out of phase’ which causes him to not only shift between periods in time, but also into other timelines and universes parallel to his. Yes, this is a multiverse story, but one that is connected to the series in history and lore. And we get to see future, past and alternate versions of beloved characters from that series.
Sheridan must navigate through each place he arrives in, help where he can, all the while trying to reach the planet of Epsilon 3, the mysterious machine, and the fan favourite alien alley Zathas, which he believes will help him return to his own timeline. This movie is a fantastic 75 mins on not only fantastic animated sci-fi adventure, but of Babylon 5 as a pop culture mainstay. It is a celebration of the original show, made with the fans in mind. It wears this on its sleeve, along with the heart of the characters and both the science and spiritual messages that Straczyski is a master at.
The animation, handled by Studio Mir, is freak great. Stylised, uniquely designed, and moves well. No Christopher Franke score this time, but the music fits right in and hits all the right buttons. All the surviving members of the original cast return. Along with Boxleitner, Claudia Christian, Peter Jurasik, Bill Mumy, Tracy Scoggins and Patricia Tallman step back into their characters. Everything I wanted. I was teary eyed.
Hollywood Dreams and Nightmares: The Robert Englund Story (2022)
This documentary from 2022 is directed by Christopher Griffiths and Gary Smart that is about the life, films, and cultural impact of the actor/director Robert Englund.
The documentary trails the early life of this beloved icon, his first taste of treading the boards, early film roles, fame, people he has worked with, personal life, and Englund coming to terms with being a pop cultural icon and a horror legend.
While he has appeared in film and television in every conceivable genre, he is best known for playing notorious dream demon and child killer Freddy Krueger in the Nightmare on Elm Street franchise, which consists of 8 films and a TV series.
I have always loved this man’s work. I first saw him on the TV mini-series ‘V’ (yes, I’m that old) when I was a youngling. His films have become a mainstay of my cinematic obsession, and not just the horror output. But I have to admit, his work in the horror genre is my fav and second to none. And he was never afraid of typecasting, he leaned into it.
The docos covers so much about the man in the two hour plus run time, some I knew and some I didn’t. It is presented with insight, love for the subject, a little animation, Sean Schafer Hennessy’s score, and a focus on the stories. And the ‘talking heads’ are a who’s who. Apart from Englund himself and his wife Nancy Booth, we also have Lance Henriksen, Eli Roth, Jill Schoelen, Tammy Lauren, Andrew Divoff, Amanda Wyss, Bill Moseley, Lin Shaye, Kane Hodder, Monica Keena, Kelly Jo Minter, Heather Langenkamp, Adam Green, Tony Todd, Miko Huges, Dennis Christopher, Tuesday Knight, Mick Garris, Corey Talyor, Dwight H Little, and old friend William Katt.
This is a gorgeous celebration of Rober Englund, his life, work, fans and much deserved icon statis.
He is a few of my Englund favs they covered. 976-Evil, The Last Showing, New Nightmare, Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon, The Adventures of Ford Fairlane, Fear Clinic, Galaxy of Terror and The Phantom of the Opera.
Seriously worth watching.
Open Windows (2014)
Opens Windows is a Mystery Thriller Crime story from writer director Nacho Vigalondo that uses fandom, voyeurism, the internet and heavy influences from Hitchcock and Brian de Palma to make an ambitious and inventive film.
Nick Chambers (Elijah Wood), wins a contest to meet his favourite actress, Jill Goddard (Sasha Grey). Nick also runs an online fan site dedicated to Jill. When he is in his hotel room before the meeting/dinner, Nick is informed by Chord (Neil Maskell), Jill’s manager, that the dinner has been cancelled, Nick is devastated. But while online, Chord sends Nick a link to his laptop that opens a live stream. That live stream is of the cameras all around the convention Jill is currently appearing at, but also security cameras and the camera and microphone in Jill mobile phone. This makes Nick uneasy. At this point, Chord has Nick trapped and manipulates Nick. How, you ask? Well, Chord is not Jill’s manager, but an obsessed fan of Jill, who has set Nick up. The contest didn’t exist, the hotel has no record of Nick staying there, and all his devices are now keyed to stalking Jill.
What follows is a tense cat and mouse thriller, as Chord essentially directs Nick where to go and what to do, and none of it is good. Nick is helped by three French hackers, the ‘Triop’, who believe Nick is a master hacker, and they want to impress him. What makes this thriller interesting and unique, is that it is told through ‘open windows’ on a laptop screen. All the car chases, stalker moments, acts of violence, and our hero, are all portrayed via these open windows. An idea like this cannot be fully sustained over multiple films, it has no legs as a subgenre as tech evolves too quickly, but the story here is well crafted and holds your attention despite the tech of the time. Wood is our main focus and nails it, as does Grey as Jill whose performance is nothing short of amazing. Vigalondo’s direction, Jorge Magaz’s score, Jon D. Domingnez’s cinematography, and Bernat Vilaplana editing make this a gripping film to watch. A little film with big ambitions, highly inventive and a fun ride. With a great fucking twist ending.
Renfield (2023)
Renfield is a 2023 horror comedy from director Chris McKay and writer Ryan Ridler, from a story by Robert Kirkman, and released by Universal Studios.
This film has two major storylines, that could be separate films in and of themselves, colliding in gory and hilarious fashion. New Orleans Police Officer Rebecca Qunicy (Awkwafina) is pissed off that she on been relegated to traffic duty along with her partner Chris (Adrian Martinez), because she goes out of her way to harass and ultimately arrest the members of the Lobo crime family who are responsible for the death of her father. Their influence has kept her out of the way.
Meanwhile, Renfield (Nicholas Hoult) is in a support group for codependent relationships. Why? Well, he is the bound servant of Dracula (Nicholas Cage) who has been tasked with looking after his master’s needs. Which includes finding him people to eat. And it weighs heavy on him. He uses the group to get better, but also to feed the other group’s abusive partners to Dracula. And one of these ‘victims’ is a criminal who, along with his two buddies, stole a large amount of drugs from the Lobo family. Renfield goes to get these bad guys for his master at the same time Teddy Lobo (Ben Schwartz) and his goons show up. After Renfield despatches the goons, Teddy and the drugs run a traffic checkpoint manned by Rebecca. The two stories meet. Renfield saves Rebecca the next night, and believes he could be a hero, or at least a good person. And take positive steps to change. But Dracula isn’t having it.
Dracula makes a deal with Bellafrancesca Lobo (Shohreh Aghdashlou, the woman with the deepest, smokiest, sexiest voice in film history) and Renfield and Rebecca are framed and are on the run from cops, corrupt cops, the Lobo crime family, and Dracula’s new army of familiars. What follows is a fun, gory, fantasy romp with horror elements amid the cop thriller style action and bombastic fight scenes. Hoult and Awkwafina and a great double act, and Nicholas Cage chews the scenery to perfection. The lighting used heightens the humour and horror of the scenes, as does Marco Beltrami’s score. I am so up for a sequel.
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Tis The Season 2023 Collection Part 2: Jingle These Bells.
Friends “The One Where Rachel Quits”
I like to do some Christmas episodes of tv shows in these reviews around this time of year, and with the recent passing of Matthew Perry, I had to do a Friends episode. But which one, there are ten. So I randomly generated a number and it came up with 3, so Season 3’s 10th episode “The One Where Rachel Quits”. And it’s a Chandler lite episode.
Like most sitcoms with a larger cast, there are a few different stories going on in the episode. SO, here are the basics. Ross accidently knocks down a girl scout selling cookies and she breaks her leg. Guilt stricken, he decides to sell Sarah’s (Mae Whitman) cookies for her so she can win first prize and go to space camp. Monica’s access to the cookies, especially the Thin Mints, makes her crave them like a junkie, as she used to be an overweight girl with an eating disorder.
Joey is working a lot selling Christmas trees this year and Phoebe is against it, seeing it as tree murder. But she seems to be okay with it after Joey and Chandler convince her that the trees are fulfilling her Christmas destinies. That is until she visits Joey at work and witnesses the older trees being put through the wood chipper.
Rachel, still working as a waitress at Central Perk, is forced to retrain. She is bummed about it. She sees it as humiliating to be retrained in a job that she is bad at and hates. Chandler convinces her to quit and use the fear of uncertainty to chase a job in the fashion industry. Her dream.
Ross doesn’t sell as many cookies as he hoped, not winning the prize for Sarah, but creates a spaced themed fun space for her with Joey and Chandler’s help. The gang buys all the old trees for Phoebe, and Rachel gets her first fashion job. There is not a lot of Christmas in this Christmas episode, the tree storyline being the festive element. But it does have an important turning point for Rachel taking action. Okay episode, not the best. Should have done the Holiday Armadillo.
Batman: The Animated Series “Christmas With The Joker” (1992)
What’s Christmas without the always smiling Clown Prince of Crime? It’s boring, that’s what. You want some Joker, that means one thing, a Batman story. The episode “Christmas With The Joker” from the first season of Batman:TAS, sees the Joker escape from Arkham Asylum in a very ‘on brand’ way, on a rocket powered Christmas tree while singing ‘Batman Smells’. Then he seems to lie low.
Batman/Bruce Wayne is worried about the upcoming Christmas season with the Joker on the loose, but everything seems quiet in Gotham. No crime. After patrolling and coming up empty, Batman and Robin retire for the night back at Wayne Manor for a Christmas dinner and to watch It’s a Wonderful Life, which Bruce has never seen. But that is not what is on TV. They are instead greeted by a Christmas Special hosted by The Joker and his guests are the kidnapped Commission Gordon, Summer Gleeson, and Harvey Bullock. The Joker, speaking to the camera, says that if Batman doesn’t track him down by midnight, all three hostages will die.
The dynamic duo set out to track down the laughing fiend and save their friends. On their quest they follow the glues that lead them to save a train full of innocent people after a bridge is dynamited, find a fake transmitter on Mt. Gotham, an observatory telescope converted into a cannon, Joker automatons with machine gun hands, giant nutcracker soldier robots, remote control kamikaze planes with Joker faces, and the ever-reliable thugs with guns (this time named Donner and Blitzen). In the end the Joker is caught and sent back to Arkham, the hostages freed, and Bruce and Dick get to watch their movie.
Like all of Batman:TAS, it looks amazing. The futuristic art deco look of the city and the vehicles are a triumph. The character is solid, although the animation did improve. The presentation of the Joker is always a joy in the series, here dressed like a yuletide Mister Rogers with wicked intent. The voice and laughter provided by Mark Hamill. He outshines everyone here, even the great Kevin Conroy. Batman getting a cream pie in the face always makes me laugh. Nothing better at Christmas.
Millennium “Midnight of the Century” 1997.
Millennium is the second TV series that The X-Files creator Chris Carter developed. Taking elements from his previous show, this is an investigation procedural with protagonist Frank Black played by Lance Henriksen hunting serial criminals as part of the Millennium group. The show also contains religious elements, conspiracies and a dash of the fantastic. Frank also has an extreme empathic and low-level ESP that aids him in his mission. Like Will Graham in Hannibal.
Midnight of the Century is the first of two Christmas episodes from the series. At the beginning, Frank gets a Christmas card in the mail featuring an angel, the phrase “It’s the Midnight of the Century ”, with a postmark December 24, 1946. That phrase and the images of angels follow Frank throughout the episode, first at the house of friend and colleague Peter Watts (Terry O’Quinn), then toy shopping for his daughter Jordan (Brittany Tiplady), and later at the church play that Jordan is appearing in. While toy shopping, Frank sees a reflection of a young man, who he later sees at the church. Following him out to the graveyard, the young man, Simon, tells him of the ‘fetches’, spirits of those who will die in the coming year who travel to the graveyard at Christmas.
Catherine (Megan Gallagher), his wife, has issues with Frank passing his ‘gift’ on to Jordan, which is why they have separated. But her gift is more like another colleague of Frank’s, Lana (Kristen Cloke), who tells him of her angels. Which is similar to what he remembers of his mother’s gift. To understand it all, and be there for his daughter, Frank goes to see his estranged father Henry Black (Darren McGavin), who tells him the truth, and the whole story. Which I won’t give away here. But McGavin makes me cry every time. His performance is powerful, beautiful and sad. The two men reconcile after decades. Later, while picking Jordon up from church, she hugs her dad. Looking over his shoulder, she asks, ‘Who are those people?’. Frank and Jordan see the ‘fetches’ making their way to the graveyard. Henry Black is amongst them, at peace. Beautiful, heartfelt, bittersweet. A perfect departure for the regular formula.
MacGyver “The Madonna”
MacGyver is a show that was sold as an ‘action adventure’ series, but has always been very flexible with its format. Dark or action heavy to comical and family friendly stories, and has covered every kind of genre, so I am surprised that it took them until season 5 to do a Christmas episode.
In the episode, “The Madonna ”, we see Mac and Pete (Richard Dean Anderson & Dana Elcar) loading up Christmas presents in a van to be delivered to the Challenges Club, a charity that helps mostly children. Mac, while being a stand-up guy, is not a fan of Christmas. His mother died on the holiday while he was out of the country saving the world, and he blames himself for not being there.
Returning characters from the previous season return here. Cynitha Wilson (Roxanne Reese) who runs the Challenges Club, who is still mourning the death of her husband and battling the possible closure of the Challenges Club. And there is Breeze (Charles Andrew Payne), a troubled teenager with a chip on his shoulder, who the others look up to. While helping the Challenges Club, Mac and Pete also agree to track down the missing Virgin Mary statue from the local church run by Mac’s old friend Father Lafferty (Jackson Davis). They also rescue a homeless woman Carol (Jeanette Nolan) who that take to the Club. Carol turns out to be a little magical. She gets Breeze to help with the Christmas fundraising pageant, sets wheels in a moment that allow the sculptor of the Virgin Mary statue to forgive himself, the church and Gid over the death of his wife, and prompts Lafferty to tell Mac about his mother’s last days allowing him to forgive himself. After all ends well, Carol disappears and the Virgin Mary statue turns up again in the church. I wonder?
This has all the sentimental Christmas storylines rolled into one episode. And it’s not bad, but would have benefited from more humour and MacGyver-ing to make it stand out. But it’s still the MacGyver we all remember fondly. There is even a small early role for Katherine Isabelle as a little girl suffering from stage fright. A sweet Christmas offering.
Silent Night (2023)
Silent Night 2023 is not another remake of the holiday slasher Silent Night, Deadly Night. No, not at all. This film is an action thriller set in a year between two Christmases from legendary director John Woo, his first Hollywood film in 20 years, and writer Robert Archer Lynn.
On Christmas, Brian Godlock (Joel Kinnaman), is playing with his son Taylor and his new bike in the front yard. Two cars scream by chasing after each other with passengers shooting at their pursuers/attackers. A battle in a gang war rages through their neighbourhood. Which results in tragedy as a stray bullet kills Taylor. Brian chasers after the cars in foot dressed in a Christmas sweater, and managers to take out one of the drivers. He is shot multiple times for his trouble. Once in the throat. Brian recovers, although he cannot speak. His wife Saya (Catalina Sandino Mareno) tries to be emotionally and financially supportive. But Brian becomes cold and distant, unable to move on. Ultimately, the marriage crumbles and Saya moves out.
He gives himself one year to take down the gang, especially the leader, responsible for the death of his boy. So, he trains his body and his mind. Learns all he can and does some sleuthing. He even buys and tricks out an old Mustang. So, on Christmas Eve 2023, Brian brings the pain. The only person to figure out what Brian is doing is Detective Vassel (Kid Cudi), who turns up to help in the climax.
But the really interesting thing about this film is that there is no, repeat, NO dialogue in the film. Not one of the characters speaks a line. We hear radio announcers and police radio chatter at a few points, but that is basic exposition. The only communication is via text message to two instances that we see on screen. John Woo uses visuals to tell the story. Camera movement, scene transitions, lighting. He used music and the actor’s expressions as language. Kinnaman brings his A-game. Marco Beltrami’s score is a masterclass, cinematographer Sharone Meir and editor Zach Staenberg know the assignment. Love it or hate it, I see it as a pure cinematic experience that embodies the “show don’t tell” ethos. Future Christmas classic.
Merry Little Batman (2023)
Merry Little Batman is an animated family comedy from Warner Bros Animation, director Mike Roth and writers Morgan Evans and Jase Ricci. It exists in its own continuity and hopefully will be the beginning of a ‘Bat-Family’ series. And it’s so amazingly fun.
In this Christmas tale, young Damien Wayne (Yonas Kibreab) desperately wants to be a superhero like his dad Bruce and his alter ego Batman (Luke Wilson). But when Bruce found out he was going to be a father, he worked double time to clean up Gotham, in an hilarious little montage flashback. So, Gotham has been crime free for years. That doesn’t stop Damien from dreaming. He even makes himself a Bat suit and terrorises the mansion. Which Bruce and Alfred (James Cromwell) both take in the stride. Knowing how much his son wants to be a superhero, Bruce gives Damien his very own utility belt but warns him about being impatient for his superhero career path.
When both Batman and Alfred are called away on different business, burglars break in and set off a series of events that lead young Damien to steal a bat suit complete with AI Bat-Dad (also Luke Wilson) and head out in the night partly to get his utility belt back and prove he is worthy of responsibility. Soon, he is being manipulated by the Joker (David Hornsby), who is working with Poison Ivy, Bane, Mr Freeze and Penguin to steal and ruin Gotham’s Christmas, causing mischief and destruction all over Gotham. Until the climax, which sees the Joker trying to recruit Damien until the little superhero turns the tables in humorous fashion. And he gets some help from his dad. And they, along with Alfred and their cat Selina, deliver all of Gotham’s stolen presents.
This film is a romp. The animation style and character design is so fun and unique and flows beautifully with the story, it has to be seen. Humour is a little too cartoony at times, but the heart of the piece papers over that. Patrick Stump’s score and the soundtrack fits the yuletide mission. This charming Christmas film is perfect for not only DC fans, but for the family as a whole. I want more.
The Gingerdead Man (2005)
This is not strictly a Christmas movie, but it is a holiday favourite for many. It’s called The Gingerdead Man, how could I not cover it. The film is a 2005 comedy slasher from Full Moon Features, director Charles Band and witters William Butler and Domonic Muir. And features a Full Moon speciality, a tiny killer.
In Waco, Texas, Crazed spree killer and petty criminal Millard Findlemeyer (Gary Busey) is robbing a diner and everyone in it and killing them. This is also the place where proud father James Leigh (Newell Alexander), has taken son Jeremy (James Snyder) and daughter Sarah (Robin Sydney) to breakfast. Sarah is the only one who survives. Cut to two years in the future and Sarah and her now drunk mother Betty (Margaret Blye) are trying to keep the family bakery open and fending off creepy developer Jimmy Dean (Larry Cedar) and his bitchy entitled daughter Lorna (Alexia Aleman) from putting them out of business. But this bakery is going to be the scene of another spree killing.
After Findlemeyer is executed and cremated, his ashes are sent to his mother. His mother is a witch and sends the ashes in a batch of Gingerbread mix to the bakery. Later a 12-inch gingerbread man cookie comes to life, and Findlemeyer is resurrected as the Gingerdead Man. People start dying pretty quick from this buck tooth puppet and the other character types to be marked for death are the nerd in t love with the final girl Brick Fields (Jonathan Chase), the helpful best friend Julia (Daniela Melgoza) and the bad boy with the heart of gold Amos (Ryan Locke).
The acting here is bland, which is a shame, everyone here has done much better work. While the film is only 75mins long the obviously padded scenes can be tedious. And they take too long to get to the goofy killer cookie. The joke is more ‘they got Busey’, not any snappiness to the writing. Child’s Play it’s not. If you are not a fan of B-movies, even self-aware ones with their tongues planted firmly in their cheeks, I can’t recommend this film. But if you are, jump on board and ride this weird train to WTF Town.
The Christmas Chronicles (2018)
When I first heard about this film, I went nuts. I had to see it. Directed by Clay Kaytis, written by Matt Lieberman, and produced by Chris Columbus are all good reasons. But for me it was Kurt Russell playing Santa Claus that got me.
In Lowell, Massachusetts, the Pierce family are struggling to come to terms with the death of husband and father Doug (Oliver Hudson). Mother Claire (Kimberly Williams-Paisley) tries to hold everything together. Son Teddy (Judah Lewis) not only has lost his Christmas spirit, but has become a juvenile delinquent stealing cars. Kate (Darby Camp) tries to keep the Christmas spirit alive for everyone. She even blackmails Teddy into helping her stay up and try to capture Santa on video delivering presents. They can only do this because Claire was called in to cover a co-worker’s shift leaving the kids home alone. But the thing is, they do capture Santa on film. Santa being seen, he flees up the roof. The Kids follow. Kate ends up in the sleigh with Teddy following. When Kate makes her presence known, Santa and the reindeer are startled, he loses control and accidentally teleports them all to Chicago, Illinois where the sleigh breaks down causing the reindeer to scatter, losing Santa’s hat and bag. Santa and the two kids team up to retrieve the reindeer, sleigh, hat and bag before it’s too late and Christmas is ruined.
It might seem like standard fare, but this film is a blast. The humour, the portrayal of Santa by the always amazing Kurt Russell, and the non-annoying kid characters, great music and cinematography, it seems like the perfect blend of sentimental and irreverent. And that is my sweet spot. One of my favourite scenes is after Santa is arrested for stealing a car (Teddy’s idea), he is put in lockup. Seeing Christmas spirit is low, Santa gathers all the inmates together, and with some Christmas magic performs a blues/rock version of “Santa Claus is Back in Town ” complete with music, choreographed moves, and backup singers. It is amazing.
Seriously, there is so much to like about this flick. It’s on Netflix, check it out. You may just get another Christmas movie added to your list of favourites.
Epilogue:
I hope you enjoyed this brief rundown of the weird mix of stuff I watched this Christmas. There was so many other flick and episodes I wanted to cover, like every Star Trek episode that mentions Christmas, a Doctor Who Christmas special and the film It’s a Wonderful Knife. So, Enjoy the season. And let me know if you want me to cover these and if there is anything I should cover next year. Love and hugs. Now I have some Christmas Specials to catch up on.
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Tis The Season – Christmas 2023 Part 1: In the Beginning There Was this Reindeer…
Everyone has their favourite films to watch over the Christmas season. Feel-good classics, Rom-Coms, an action classic or two, a gore filled horror, or something truly bizarre. So, to start, here are my current 12 favourite Christmas Movies.
12. Gremlins (1984) Joe Dante’s comedy introduced us to the Mogwai, Gizmo, the Gremlins, and the three rules. Dark Spielberg and Looney Tunes fun.
11. Black Christmas (1974) This cult classic Canadian slasher helped cement many of the cliches of slasher films in the 80s. Well shot, genuinely tense, good cast and the great John Saxon.
10. The Ref (1994) This Dennis Leary Christmas comedy about a criminal who takes a couple hostage, has to pose as their marriage therapist when the extended family shows up is vicious fun.
9. Silent Night, Deadly Night (2020) This notorious Christmas themed slasher film featuring a killer dressed as Santa is surprisingly well crafted and a psychologically intriguing killer. And wicked nuns.
8. Silent Night (2020) Remake of the previous entry with the gore and inventive kills ramped up to eleven. A different story with Malcom McDowell stealing every scene he is in.
7. Home Alone (1990) A modern classic with as much heart and soul as pratfalls and slapstick. If you haven’t seen it, educate yourself. If you don’t love it, you’re dead inside.
6. Better Watch Out (2016) A tense and fun horror film with a Kevin McAllaster style teenager who is a manipulating and violent sociopath.
5. Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964) A kidnapped Santa teaches the children of Mars about the true meaning of Christmas. The Mystery Science 3000 or RiffTrax versions of the film are the best.
4. Trading Places (1984) Basically a modern tale on the Prince and the Pauper set at Christmas featuring Eddie Murphy, Dan Ackroyd and Jamie Lee Curtis showing why they are amazing.
3. The Guardians of the Galaxy Holiday Special (2022) Fun and irreverent holiday special with a lot of heart in James Gunn’s style. Plus, Kevin Bacon sings.
2. Violent Night (2022) Ex-Viking warrior, now Santa Claus, has a drinking problem and gets caught up in a ‘Die Hard’ situation. What’s not to like?
1. Die Hard (1988) The all-time Christmas classic action movie starring the iconic Bruce Willis and action cinema’s best villain in Alan Rickman’s Hans Gruber. You had to know this was going to be number one.
And now, let’s get to stuff I watched this season.
To All A Goodnight (1980)
To All A Goodnight is a 1980 Christmas themed slasher film directed by actor and musician David Hess, who is most famous for playing the leader of the gang of killers in Wes Craven’s Last House on The Left. This is the only feature film he has ever directed.
The story centres around a group of sorority girls, who decide to stay at the rural Calvin Finishing School For Girls over Christmas and have a party instead of going home to family celebrations. Melody, Leia, Trisha and Sam (Linda Gentile, Judith Bridges, Angela Bath & Denise Stears) all stay along with the virginal Nancy (Jennifer Runyon) all decide to stay for their own reasons. To enjoy themselves, they drug the house mother Mrs. Jensen (Kiva Lawrence), and fly their boyfriends in. All seems to go to plan until some dressed in a Santa Claus costume starts killing the 30-year-old teenagers and their boyfriends.
The next day after some of their group seem to be missing, the cops are called in, and they too get embroiled in the action of the situation. One cop sleeping with one of the students. I hope he checked how old she was. But it all just gives the killer more victims.
Even though the film came out in 1980, this is a very cliché driven, paint by numbers kind of movie. It steals plot points, character types, and kills from Black Christmas and Friday the 13th. It even has its own ‘Crazy Ralph’ in caretaker Um… Ralph (West Buchanan), who is just a red herring, he is actually wearing red. It also has the seemingly teleporting killer and the final girl. But all the female victims are basically the same. They’re all Margot Kidder from Black Christmas. Except for Nancy.
This film is clumsily made and could have done with a rewrite (especially when it comes to the characters and their motivations) and more in the budget. But there are some good shots, even if the movie doesn’t make a lot of sense. Honestly, I love watching this film with friends to riff on it. Not the best killer Santa movie. Fun fact: Porn star Harry Reems plays the pilot who flies the boys in.
Batman Returns (1992)
Batman Returns is a 1992 big budget sequel to the 1989 blockbuster, Batman. Once again directed by Tim Burton, this was written by Daniel Waters from a story from Waters and the writer of the first film Sam Hamm. Apart from continuing and gritty story and imagery, this film has more violence and fantasy elements injected into the film that would be at home in Beetlejuice or Edward Scissorhands. And yes, the story takes place at Christmas.
Here, we have two classic villains from Batman’s rogue’s gallery in The Penguin and The Catwoman (played by Danny DeVito and Michelle Pfeiffer), joining the returning cast including Michael Gough as Alfred, Pat Hingle as Commission Gordon and Michael Keaton as Bruce Wayne and his alter ego billionaire Bruce Wayne.
The film states in flashback as two Gotham socialites, dismayed at the birth of their malformed son, discard the child in the sewer where he is saved and raised by Penguins (not kidding). Growing up to become the Penguin. He also on the low key runs the Red Circus Gang that is terrorising the city. Later, he finds out he is Oswald Cobblepot, heir to a lost fortune.
Also, Billionaire industrialist Max Shrek (Christopher Walken) kills his secretary Selina Kyle, after she finds out about his shady business dealings by pushing her out a window. She is brought back to life by a cluster of stray cats (somehow) and her personality completely changed. And she costumes up and messes stuff up.
There are weird team ups, Penguin and Shrek, Penguin and Catwoman, Selina and Bruce. There is an ongoing theme of identity and birthright throughout the film. And the climax is as weird and twisted as it is explosive and exciting. Pfeiffer is by far my favourite thing about this film, but DeVito plays the twisted bird boy with creepy flair. The production design is impressive, Danny Elfman’s score is F*#KING awesome, Stefan Czapsky is all style, and I love the Batman vehicles and gadgets here more so than the first. Other actors that feature are Michael Murphy, Andrew Bryniarski, Vincent Schiavelli, Paul Reubans, Diane Salinger, Doug Jones and Cristi Conway as the Ice Princess who dies at a big Christmas event in Gotham.
Hardware (1990)
Hardware is a cyberpunk sci-fi horror film from writer-director Richard Stanley (his debut feature) and has since become a cult classic of the sci-fi genre. Why am I including it at Christmas? Well, not only is it a good flick, the story takes place on Christmas. I thought that was a given.
Taking place in a post-apocalyptic Earth, a nomad scavenger finds the remnants of an android in the desert and looks to sell it. But the junk dealer Alvy (Mark Northover) step away from the negotiations and Mo Baxter (Dylan McDermott), a former soldier, who is there with his friend Shades (John Lynch), buys the parts and sells everything to Alvy except the head. The head he plans on giving to his girlfriend Jill (Stacey Travis) for Christmas, as she is a metal sculptor. Later, at Jill’s apartment, Jill eagerly accepts the head and plans to make it the feature of her latest work. Jill thanks Mo with a good old-fashioned role in the hey as they are being spied on by overweight creep peeping tom Lincoln (William Hootkins), from the building across the street.
Mo gets a call from Alvy to come to his shop right away, and leaves straight away. Once there, Alvy tells Mo that the robot parts were from a M.A.R.K. 13, a bot designed for population control. Basically, it’s a killer designed to preform human genocide to save the Earth from overpopulation. Mo rushes back to Jill. Meanwhile, Jill discovers that the robot head has used her sculpture and appliances in her apartment to build itself a new body. Its mission, to kill Jill and anyone human. Mo, and Shades, both rush to help Jill, as she is stalked through her apartment. And F#@KED me, is it tense.
This film is visually stunning considering the very low budget. Stanley’s talent and creativity as a filmmaker are on fine display here. Travis and McDermott are excellent as our protagonists, and Hootkins is one of the most effectively creepy slimeballs on screen. Also, there are cameos from Iggy Pop and Lemmy. Steven Chivers’ cinematography and Simon Boswell’s score make a simple claustrophobic story epic. Hard to find, but well worth your time.
Trading Places (1983)
Trading Places is a 1983 comedy directed by John Landis, written by Timothy Harris & Herschel Weingrod. This film, while being a modern take on the Prince and The Pauper, tackles the themes of self-worth, class, and the callousness of the rich. And it’s a Christmas movie, with most of the film’s story taking place around the Christmas and New Year season.
The film centres around a bet made between the billionaire brothers, Randolph and Mortimer Duke (Ralph Bellamy & Don Ameche), who hold different views on human nature. To this end, the wager is made to turn a rich and well-mannered man into a desperate criminal, and a criminal into a successful and respected businessman. Their targets are the wealthy snob Louis Winthrope III (Dan Aykroyd) and the poor street hustler Billy Ray Valentine (Eddie Murphy).
Winthrope is framed as a thief and drug dealer, loses his job, has his bank accounts frozen, his fiancée leaves him, and his home is lost. The only help he gets is from a kind cliched hooker with the heart of gold Ophelia (Jamie Lee Curtis) who takes him in. Valentine is bailed out of jail by the Dukes, and under the guise of an experimental program to transform the lives of the disenfranchised, given Winthrope’s house, a big bank account, clothes, and a high paying job at the firm of Duke and Duke. Then, the Duke brothers sit back and observe. When Valentine finds out about the bet, he searches out Winthrope. They team up, along with Ophelia and the Winthrope/Valentine’s butler Coleman (Denholm Elliot), and hatch a plan to take down the Duke Brothers but bankrupting them using the stock market.
There is a lot to like in this almost cut classic. Most of that is down to Murphy and Aykroyd, two comedy legends who completely become their characters. Curtis is a gem and Elliot is a joy to watch. And cameos from Frank Oz, Bo Diddley, and Jim Belushi. The humour is a mix of high and low humour, but none seems forced or out of place. While it is not as fast paced as recent comedies, and not a traditional Christmas movie, it still works.
First Blood (1982)
First Blood is a 1982 action thriller from director Ted Kotcheff, and written by Michael Kozoll, William Sackhiem and Sylvester Stallone, based on the novel by David Morrell. It’s an early 80s film that showed the psychological damage of soldiers returning from Vietnam.
In the film, ex-special forces soldier John Rambo (Sylvester Stallone), who is hitchhiking across the country, arrives at the house of his last surviving war buddy, only to find out he died a year ago. Chest fallen, Rambo gives his condolences, and heads out down the road. Later he arrives at the outskirts of the town of Hope, Washington, where the town sheriff Will Teasle (Brian Dennehy) offers to give him a ride. That ride is to the other side of the town limits. Teasle tells him that drifters like him are not welcome in the town and leaves him on the side of the road. When Rambo begins walking back towards the town, Teasle arrests him for vagrancy. At the police station decorated for Christmas, Rambo is brutalised by Galt (Jack Starett) and the other deputies. This cause Rambo’s PTSD, complete with horrific flashback to torture, to hit. He turns the tables and fights his way out of the police station, and flees through the town and heads towards the surrounding forest with the cops in hot pursuit. Rambo takes down the cops without killing them. Soon, on the strength of Teasle’s lie, the state and federal cops, FBI, and the nation guard set out to capture Rambo. The only ally he has is General Trautman (Richard Crenna), who first warns the cops then figures out Teasle’s illegal actions. The climax of the Rambo fight of survival is the almost destruction of the town.
This is a great action film. It is iconic, but is overshadowed by the 80s macho sequels. It is an exceptional film. And only one-character dies in the film, and that is from his own bloodlust and stupidity. Rambo, as played by Stallone, is a character you feel for and you want him to win out. Kotcheff, and Cinematographer Andrew Laszlo make this a beautiful and exciting film to watch, and Jerry Goldsmith’s score makes it a classic. I just wish the sequels were better.
Eyes Wide Shut (1999)
Eyes Wide Shut is a 1999 erotic mystery drama directed by the legend Stanley Kubrick, who also produced the film and co-wrote the film with Frederic Raphael. It’s also Kubrick’s final film, being released after his death.
The film centres around Dr William “Bill” Harford, his wife Alice (Tom Cruise & Nicole Kidman) and their daughter Helena living in New York City. One night at a Christmas party hosted by Victor Ziegler (Sydney Pollack), Bill runs into old college friend Nick (Todd Field) who now plays piano professionally. Later, host Victor interrupts saying Mandy, a girl Victor has been sleeping with has overdosed. Bill aids in the girl’s recovery.
Catching up with Nick, he tells Bill that he plays piano, blindfolded, at a regular orgy in a mansion outside New York. Bill rents a costume, goes to the mansion, gives the password Nick gave him, and he is in. And the inside is exactly what you think it is. Lots and lots of naked people wearing masks. There is a secret society active in this house, and Bill is in the middle of it. He is unmasked, but rescued, and sworn to secrecy.
What follows is the disappearance of Nick, shady characters following Bill and his family, murders, and all manner of creepy things, tied up with this secret society. It is a mystery, but layered more with a mysterious atmosphere than an actual mystery. At the end of the film, the conversational revelation is very bland.
The problem with his film is that it gives the appearance of something happening, but nothing actually does. Turns out the secret society is not really a threat, and marital problems Bill and Alice are having aren’t really problems. And one theory of the film is that, after the first party when Bill and Alice get stoned together, that the events that follow don’t actually happen. If you have watched the film, the theory has weight. Apart from the cast (which include Thomas Gibson, Rade Serbedzija, Leelee Sobieski, & Alan Cumming), the graphic nudity, the Christmas imagery, and the ‘look’ of the film, I can’t recommend this. Eye Wide Shut is as boring to me as Barry Lydon, and it’s sad that it’s Kubrick’s last.
The Dorm That Dripped Blood (1982)
The Dorm That Dripped Blood (also known as Pranks and Death Dorm) is a 1982 mystery slasher film from directors Jeffery Obrow and Stephen Carpenter, the latter also co-writing the film with Stacey Giachino.
After an end of year party at a university, all the students head home for the Christmas holidays, except for Joanne (Laurie Lapinski) and four of her friends, Brian, Patty, Graig, and Debbie (David Snow, Pamela Holland, Stephen Sachs, and Daphne Zuniga). They are staying behind to clean out and shut down the recently condemned Morgan Meadows Hall, which consists of removing all the furniture, stripping the fixtures, removing appliances, food, and other items. The Hall is to be renovated and turned into student apartments. And these students, led by Joanne have only two weeks to do their assigned task. This includes selling the furniture to second-hand dealers like leering creep Bobby Lee Tremble (Dennis Ely), who is also one of the film’s red herrings. Why ‘red herring’? Well, some person, in Giallo fashion, is stalking, pranking and killing the students and other outliers such as maintenance workers, cops, and concerned parents. The local fuzzy haired weirdo, and our ‘Crazy Ralph’ of the movie, is John Hemmit (Woody Roll), is the other red herring. After messing with the students, the killer gets bolder. There are some creative kills, until the final reveal and a pretty cool twist with the established horror cliches.
Honestly, apart from the cliché twist, there is nothing really new here that allows the film to stand out. But is it an actual competent film, unlike other films in the genre released around this time. But it does have music by Christopher Young who went on to do the scores for Hellraiser and Sinister. What is interesting about this film was that it was made by University of California students with a tiny budget, using other students and friends, and University equipment. And was actually filmed on the 1980/1981 Christmas break. Love or loathe it, these students succeeded, and the film was even distributed theatrically in 1982 and re-released in 1983. Middle of the road horror, check it out this season, but go for the uncut version. Currently free on YouTube.
Puppet Master Vs Demonic Toys (2004)
Puppet Master Vs Demonic Toys is a 2004 horror comedy from director Ted Nicolaou and writer C. Courtney Joyner, and comes from the Syfy Channel and Charles Bands’ Full Moon Features. This is a ‘Vs’ film using two existing properties from Full Moon’s roster of popular franchises. They had done this before with Dollman Vs The Demonic Toys which had those two properties, plus characters from Bad Channels, in the same tiny horror showdown.
This film sees the great grand nephew of the original puppet master Andre Toulon, Robert Toulon (Corey Feldman) and his daughter Alexandra (Danielle Keaton), working in their toys and puppet workshop. They are trying to recreate the original formula to bring Toulon’s puppets to life. Working from Toulon’s notebook, they finally achieve success and four of the little sometime terrors/sometimes angels to life; Blade, Six Shooter, Jester and Pinhead. But they are being spied on via a hidden camera hidden inside a toy ladybug.
The person spying is Erica Sharpe (Vanessa Angel) of Sharpe Toys. She desperately wants the puppets and Toulon’s formula to protect herself. She has made a deal with the demon Bael, to use her toys to kill every child who owns one on Christmas. Bael will win a great victory over innocence and Erica will rule what is left of the world. To this end, Bael even has her three demonic toys; Baby Oopsy Daisy, Jack Attack and Grizzly Teddy. When Robert tries to warn people, and then when his daughter is kidnapped by the villains, Toulon’s puppets (with some upgrades) wage war against Erica, Bael, and their Demonic Toys.
This movie is silly, gory (kinda) fun. It’s a weird little horror comedy set at Christmas that indeed does feel like a Syfy Channel film. More so than Full Moon by itself. In a way, it is the perfect Christmas film from both studios. It’s campy and cheesy, but oddly charming. It makes me smile. Apart from the puppets/toys, the big draw is Feldman and Angel’s over the top scenery chewing. It may be missing the great stop motion animation of past entries, and it isn’t my favourite of either franchise, in the Christmas season, I just can’t help myself.
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Films With Friends Collection Part 7: Whose Laughing Now?
Barbie (2023)
Yes! This overweight bearded human went to see the Barbie movie. And I loved it.
Directed by Greta Gerwing, and co-written by her and Noah Baumbach, this film is based on the long-time cultural phenomenon by Mattel.
Margot Robbie is our central “Stereotypical’ Barbie. She resides in Barbieland, a matriarchal society where women are successful, self-confident and self-sufficient, as are all other Barbies. In this world, their Ken counterparts just hang out while the Barbies have all the important jobs and make all the decisions. “Beach” Ken (Ryan Gosling) seeks a closer relationship with Barbie, but is constantly rebuffed.
When SB starts having weird thoughts and her feet are suddenly flat, she seeks help from “Weird” Barbie (Kate McKinnon), who tells her that the person that is playing with her is sad and that is affecting her and the world of Barbieland. She must journey to the “Real World” and help the owner of the doll and set things right. And, of course, Ken stows away in her car to help.
In the real world, everything is different. It is the opposite of Barbieland, where the Parichay rules and women are treated as second class citizens. Ken learns of this and thinks it’s a pretty cool idea and heads back to Barbieland to change things. Barbie must avoid the MIB style Mattel corporation and its CEO (Will Ferrell), and help Gloria and her daughter Sasha (America Ferrera & Ariana Greenblatt). Gloria and Sasha journey with Barbie to Barbieland and help her and the other Barbie’s remove the inequality from their home created by the Kens.
This movie had me with the 2001 parody at the beginning. It’s a comedy with smart writing, goofy moments mixed with the poignant ones, a great sense of fun, a catchy soundtrack, and a beautiful message about equality, inclusion and personal self-worth without a soap box in sight.
Rhea Perlman is so sweet and wise as Barbie’s creator Ruth Handler’s ghost who has an office on the 17th floor. The Barbie and Ken’s feature actors: Issa Rae, Alexandra Shipp, Emme Mackey, Hari Nef, Sharon Rooney, Ana Cruz Kayne, Rite Arya, Dua Lipa, Nicola Fennell. Simu Liu, Kingsley Ben-Adir, Ncuti Gatwa, and John Cena. Dame Helen Mirren narrates. AMAZING!
Psycho Goreman (2020)
Psycho Goreman is a 2020 Canadian is a science fantasy action horror comedy film from writer director Steven Kostanski. And it’s bonkers. It’s like blending a hyper violent sci-fi horror film from the 80s with a Saturday morning cartoon.
Siblings Mimi and Luke (Nita-Josée Hanna & Owen Myre), after playing the game they invented ‘Crazy Ball’, are digging a hole in the backyard because the loser has to be buried alive (don’t ask), and they discover a glowing pink gem, which the loveable little sociopath Mimi claims. But taking the gem from its resting place has unleashed an alien warlord hell bent on destroying the universe.
The siblings find this alien killing machine the next day in a nearby warehouse. Here they find that whoever holds the gems has the power to control and command the “Arch-Duke of Nightmares’ ‘, whom the pair rename Psycho Goreman or PG for short (voiced by Steven Vlahos and played by Matt Ninaber). So, Mimi uses the alien monster to have fun, and since she is a little twisted, it is hilarious and it is troubling. Even mum and Dad (Alexis Kara Hancey & Adam Brooks) get in on the action.
On the planet Gigax, the Templars, an extreme religious galactic police force, has found out about the beast’s release. Their leader Pandora (Kristen MacCulloch and voiced by Anna Tierney) heads to Earth disguised as a human to stop the menace.
Meanwhile, PGs old crew tries to kill their old master. But Mimi would let him fight back until he apologises for being mean. When he does, the blood flows. Everything changes when Pandora slits the family unit. Its supercharged mum, Luke and Pandora vs Mimi, Dad, and PG as they battle for the Earth with ‘Crazy Ball’.
This film is batshit insane and better than it has the right to be. Gory and brutal but also kind of innocent. The effects and costumes are well put together and the make up effects, especially on PG and Pandora are freaking sweet. Even if the alien council and PGs old crew look like villains from a Power Rangers TV show, it all still works beautifully. Nita-Josée Hanna’s Mimi is the film’s highlight. And would you believe a 92% on Rotten Tomatoes.
M3GAN (2022)
M3Gan is a horror/thriller, with Sci-fi leanings, from writers Akela Cooper and James Wan, directed by Gerard Johnstone, and Blumhouse Productions.
After Cady (Violet McGraw) loses her parents in a car accident, she goes to live with her aunt Gemma (Allison Williams), a roboticist working for the toy company Funki. Gemma isn’t a people person and doesn’t know how to connect to Cady. So, she retools a project she has been working on and creates M3GAN (model 3 Generative Android), a child-sized humanoid robot doll powered by artificial intelligence, designed to be the ultimate companion and protector. M3GAN’s presence at first is a positive one. Cady connects with her and is the much-needed distraction from the loss of her parents, and takes the pressure off Gemma who has no idea how to work through her own grief let alone that of a child.
Gemma boss David (Ronny Chieng), while at first against the idea, falls in love with the possible success and convinces the higher-ups of M3GAN’s potential as a money maker. This puts more pressure on Gemma. When M3Gan and Cady are attacked by the neighbour’s dog, M3GAN begins to protect Cady from any and every threat to her charge, often with very violent results.
Leading up to the M3GAN product launch, Gemma becomes convinced that M3GAN is killing people and interfering in her and Cady’s lives. She shuts down M3GAN and takes her to the company lab with run diagnostics. Devastated at the possible loss of her friend, Cady breaks down. But Cady and Gemma repair their relationship, and head home. But M3GAN won’t let that stand. Busting out of the lab in iconic fashion (that weird dance), M3GAN heads home. The little family must defend themselves against the now psychic A.I. creation.
I was surprised how well this film works. The real relationships between the three lead characters are beautiful and real. And the character design of M3GAN is simple and well executed, with the ‘uncanny valley’ doing most of the heavy lifting in the horror department. M3Gan was portrayed by actresses Amie Donald (body) and Jenna Davis (voice), their performances paired with the design created an amazing horror icon. This is a classic cautionary tale expertly made. Loved it.
Puss in Boots: The Last Wish (2022)
Puss in Boots: The Last Wish is an animated adventure comedy produced by DreamWorks Animation. It is a sequel to 2011s Puss in Boots, itself a spin-off of the Shrek franchise. Out of the six films in the Shrek universe, Shrek 2 and this wonderful film, are the best of the lot.
Puss (Antonio Banderas) is down to his last life, having spent his previous 8 lives on adventures and laughing in the face of death. But when Death (Wagner Moura) in the form of a ghostly cloaked wolf welding two handheld scythes, comes to challenge the arrogant little cat, Puss fears for his future. He runs, giving up his adventurous ways to hide as a house cat. Here he meets a small Chihuahua disguised as a cat he names Perrito (Harvey Gullen) who befriends Puss. But when Goldilocks (Florence Pugh) and the Three Bears Crime Family (Ray Winstone, Olivia Coleman & Samson Kayo) smash the house looking of Puss to help steal the map to the location of the last wish currently in Big Jack Horner’s (John Mulaney) possession, Puss decides to do it on his own to wish for his lives back.
Stealing the map from Jack, Puss comes across Kitty Soft Paws (Salma Hayek), who has her own reason to steal the map. Puss and Kitty form an uneasy alliance, with Perrito along for the ride, to journey to the centre of the dark forest to find the fallen wish star and the last remaining wish. And try to stay one step ahead of Goldi and the Bears and Jack and his fierce baker’s dozen.
The animation here is amazing. Gone is the strict adherence to the past films, this film employs a wonderfully stylised animation that calls back to Disney and Looney Tunes shorts. It is gorgeous to look at. Every frame is artwork. The story is also one of the best in animation in recent years. The emotional journey of the characters plays out perfectly and organically, with the performers giving it their all for the dramatic and comedy scenes. Oh, the comedy. The humour is top notice, I even did a spit take and one point. The perfect comfort food.
Ten Minutes to Midnight (2020)
Ten Minutes to Midnight is a surreal vampire horror film from writer/director Erik Bloomquist.
Late night radio DJ Amy Marlowe (Caroline Williams) arrives at work for her show Ten Minutes to Midnight with a bat bite on her neck. Security guard Ernie (Nicholas Tucci), who oddly enough is carving a wooden stake, is convinced Amy could have rabies. Before her show, Amy is called into the office of the station’s manager Bob (William Youmans), who is a bit of a sexual predator, and is present with Sienna (Nicole Kang), who is destined to be her replacement. Amy discovers that tonight’s show is to be her last. A fact that everyone is aware of for over a week, even her friend and producer Aaron (Adam Weppler). She was kept out of the loop.
Amy has a breakdown, which is made worse given the fact that, due to the bat bite, she is slowly turning into a vampire. Something, like her replacement for the previous week, she is not aware of. The stress of losing the job that has defined her for 30 years and the transforming into a vampire, Amy goes on somewhat of a psychedelic and surrealist journey. And we are on the ride with her like watching someone else’s fever dream.
There is also the possibility that the radio station is also haunted with lost souls. This possible story element comes after everybody is dead and Amy relives the night events with all the principal characters suddenly playing different roles. Climaxing in a party for Amy populated by familiar faces she has never met all dressed in black. And her going away gift is a coffin.
The movie is about how people resist and accept change. Some Amy fights despite the inevitability that she will have to leave her job and transform into a creature of the night. It also has a nice commentary on ageism in the media. This movie is definitely a trip. The lighting, cinematography, and score all add to the otherworldly nature of the story. It’s like a modern-day punk rock Carnival of Souls. And horror legend Caroline Williams is a revelation, the show is hers. Made by lovers of the horror genre.
Airheads (1994)
This 1994 comedy was, and still is, one of my favourite 1990s flicks and a happy place. Directed by Michael Lehmann, of Heathers and Hudson Hawk fame, and written by Rich Wilkes, it tells the story one the lengths one band will go to be heard.
Chazz (Brendan Fraser) is desperate to get his band, The Lone Rangers, a record deal. He even sneaks into a record company’s building and talks to exec Jimmie Wing (Judd Nelson) before getting thrown out. So, after his girlfriend Kayla (Amy Locane) kicks him out, Chazz and his band mates, siblings Rex and Pip (Steve Buscemi & Adam Sandler) hatch a plan to sneak into the local radio station KPPX, to get their tape played on the air.
Once inside the station, shock jock Ian “The Shark” (Joe Mantegna), a bit of a rock and roll anarchist himself, puts them on the air. But before their song can be played, the station manager and business douche Milo (Michael McKean) breaks up the party. Then the boys put out the very realistic toy guns and take control of the station and the employees’ hostage, which include Suzzi (Nina Siemaszko), Marcus (Reg E. Cathey), Yvonne (Michelle Hurst) and Carter (David Arquette). What follows is a comedy of errors and a journey of discovery for the anti-establishment rockers. When the cops turn up, negotiations start through Sergeant O’Malley (Ernie Hudson) and his offsider Officer Wilson (Chris Farley). The boys can’t play their reel demo, so they send the cops looking for Kayla to get her copy of the tape. They make insanity defence style demands of the cops (nude picture of Bea Arthur anyone), pass the time playing some awesome tunes and partying with half of L.A., many of which are outside the station to support our heroes.
Every performer uses their comic and dramatic chops to the fullest. Every character seems real and believable. There is some solid on-screen support from Michael Richards, Marshall Bell and great cameos from Harold Ramis, Mike Judge, White Zombie and Motorhead’s Lemmy. A kinda prefect 90s comedy commenting on the music industry with a killer soundtrack. Sits perfectly in the middle of a triple feature of This is Spinal Tap and Empire Records.
Last Action Hero (1993)
Last Action Hero is a 1993 big budgeted action comedy directed by John McTiernan, and written by Shande Black and David Arnott from a story by Zak Penn & Adam Leff. And it’s so meta, The Twilight Zone is jealous. The film follows 10-year-old Danny Madigan (Austin O’Brian), a film buff living in crime ridden New York City with his widowed mother. Danny’s only escape is going to the once beautiful, now run down, movie theatre run by Danny’s friend, elderly owner Nick (Robert Prosky). Danny’s favourite films are that of the Arnold Schwarzenegger led Jack Slater series.
When Nick invites Danny to a private screening of the latest Jack Slater film so he can check the print, Nick makes a show of giving Danny a ticket once owned by Harry Houdini. And old Harry must have had some real Dr. Strange powers, because a short time into the film, Danny is transported by explosion into the fictional world of the movie. Slater’s boss Captain Dekker (Frank McRae) teams the two together to take down mob boss Vivaldi (Athony Quinn) and his number two, Benedict (Charles Dance). Danny keeps trying to convince Jack that he is a character in a movie. The muscular cop doesn’t believe him, but the villainous Benedict does. Benedict kills his boss (spoilers), steals the ticket and heads to the real world with a plan to unleash movie villains on reality. Danny and Jack must follow into the real world to top the cartoonish madman.
This film was on high rotation for me in high school. It tells an entertaining, often ridiculous but polished story while poking fun at action movies cliches and Hollywood. John McTiernan is on fire in the directors’ chair, and with Dean Semler as the DP and Michael Kamen handling the music, this flick is a sugary treat. It even comes with a great rock soundtrack complete with an original song from AC/DC. It also hosts co-stars and cameos from Tom Noonan, Art Carney, F. Murray Abraham, Mercedes Ruehl, Joan Plowright, Ian McKellen, Jim Belushi, Robert Patrick, Sharon Stone, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Little Richard, Tina Turner, Bridgette Wilson, and Danny DeVito as the voice of the animated cat detective Whiskers. Beautiful bonkers fun.
The Marvels (2023)
The Marvels is a 2023 sci-fi fantasy action-adventure film from director Nia DaCosta who co-wrote the film with Megan McDonnell and Elissa Karasik, and is the 33rd film in the Marvel Cinematic Universe.
The film sees the return of Carol Danvers / Captain Marvel (Brie Larson), as well as Monica Rameau (Teyonah Parris), last seen in WandaVision and Ms Marvel / Kamala Khan (Iman Vellani) from the Ms Marvel series. In this tale, ex-Cree soldier now leader Dar-Benn (Zawe Ashton) seeks the Quantum bands. She finds only one, as the other is in Kamala’s possession. But she is still able to use it to create artificial jump points to destroy planets to save her own dying world Hala. While investigating the residual energy, Danvers and Rambeau both come into contact with the energy at the same moment and link her powers with that of Kamala’s. As A result, every time they use their powers, they all physically switch places with each other. No matter where they are in the universe. They have to band together to control their switching and save the countless planets from Dar-Benn’s trauma fuelled mission. Also in the mix is Nick Fury (Samuel L Jackson) who is working with the trio on the space station S.A.B.E.R. to fix out how to stop Dar-Benn. Kamala’s family from the series is also present, and is taken to the station where they end up helping with a very strange problem connected to the loveable alien ‘not-cat’, Goose.
This is a return to form for the MCU. This is an enjoyable fun ride of a movie with likeable characters, a decent plot, and great situational set pieces. With a good dose of humour. DaCosta’s directing of the material is damn good, she directed one of my recent favs in the recent Candyman film. Laura Karpman’s score fits right in and enhances the story. And I could fault the CGI either. And at 1 hour and 45 minutes, it’s shorter than most MCU flicks. The cast are all great, but Iman Vellani’s Kamala is damn infectious.
And to all those out there who called this film the “end of the MCU”, “garbage”, and “dead on arrival”, do you even know what fun is anymore?
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The Rule of Three: Halloween 2023, Part Two.
Continuing on with the horror trilogies for 2023, here is part two. Here there are more cult classics, modern gems and even an action horror franchise. Hope you enjoy.
Now excuse me, I have to go outside and investigate a noise alone in the dark. I’ll be right back.
Urban Legend (1998)
Urban Legend is a mystery slasher film from director Jamie Blanks and writer Silvio Horta, and is one of the post Scream successes that deserves more attention. This 25-year-old film has a truly great central premise and talent in front and behind the camera to make it work . The film takes place at Pendleton University and centres around student Natalie Simon (Alicia Witt, in a rare lead role) as she is tormented by a serial killer who is killing people connected to her, using urban legends as inspiration for the deaths. Natalie’s small group of friends include best friend Brenda (Rebecca Gayheart), student journalist Paul (Jared Leto), womaniser prankster Damon (Joshua Jackson), party dude and occasional sceptical asshat Parker (Michael Rosenbaum), and campus radio DJ Sasha (Tara Reid).
As her friends, teachers and other unfortunate victims start dying, Natalie and Paul start investigating with the clues to find the person responsible. Which sees a past school tragedy unearthed and a personal connection to the killer revealed. And the reveal of the killer, I did not guess on first viewing, their performance is one of the reasons I kept coming back to this flick.
Backing up the main stars are Natasha Gregson Wagner’s Michelle, whose death starts the film, and she shares the screen with legend Brad Dourif in an uncredited role. Loretta Devine’s campus cop Reese, the film’s breakout character, is a treat. We also have John Neville as the Dean, Julian Richlings and the mysterious janitor, Danielle Harris as Natalie’s goth, drugged up and sex obsessed roommate Tosh, and horror legend Robert Englund as Professor Wexler, a lecturer who teaches a class on urban legends.
Serious props to director Blanks, who knows how to stage a scene, and seemed to be able to get believable performances out of his stars, even Reid. With James Chressanthis’ cinematography, Jay Cassidy’s editing and the amazing score by Chrsitopher Young, they crafted a thrilling film full of suspense and tension, great visuals that serve and not distract from the story, stitched together with music that supports it all. My favourite kill is the opening with Wagner and Dourif. A great little short film in and of itself. Pure gold.
Urban Legends: Final Cut (2000)
Urban Legends: Final Cut is a mystery slasher film from director John Ottman and writers Paul Harris Boardman & Scott Derrickson. This is not a direct sequel to the 1998 film, but a different tale taking place in the same cinematic universe.
The film centres around film student Amy Mayfield (Jennifer Morrison), a sweet creative in a sea of massive egos, at the prestigious Alpine University who is lost for a subject for her thesis film. After talking with the campus security guard Reese (Loretta Devine) about a string of murders that happened at her previous job, Amy gets the idea for a horror film about a serial killer murdering people using urban legends. She takes the idea to her lecturer Professor Solomon (Hart Bochner), who, thinking the idea has legs, signs off on the project.
Amy talks to her friend Travis (Matthew Davis) who organises for the cameraman Simon (Marco Hofschneider) to be her DP. Travis is later found dead, an apparent suicide. Soon after, people in the school start dying using urban legends featured in Amy’s film. First are Lisa (Jacinda Barrett) and Amy’s friend Sandra (Jessica Cauffiel). Amy discovers that the person lurking around is Trevor, Travis’ brother (also played by Davis) who enlists Amy’s help to find out who is responsible for the deaths. They uncover that the victims are all connected to Travis thesis film, the prestigious Hitchcock Award, and a campus secret. The two, along with Reese, set out to stop the killer.
My fav of the series, and not just because of the filmmaking references. The filmmakers, instead of rehashing the first film with the same characters, they came up with a unique story. Ottman does a great job directing in his only feature film, being known mostly as a composer. Devine’s Reese is a bigger treat than previously. I’d love a film all about her. Morrison carries the film well, and she is aided by the likes of Joey Lawrence, Eva Mendes, Michael Bacall, Anthony Anderson, and Anson Mount. The final scene over the credits, put to The Alfred Hitchcock Presents theme, with a great cameo, one of the best things I’ve ever seen. And could have rolled into an amazing third entry.
Urban Legends: Bloody Mary (2005)
This direct-to-video slasher film, and third entry in the Urban Legend franchise, is directed by Pet Sematary and Pet Sematary Too legend Mary Lambert, and written by Michael Dougherty and Dan Harris. Here, the story doesn’t tackle the effect of urban legends on a serial killer narrative, but instead focuses on one urban legend, that of Blood Mary, in a supernatural ghost revenge story.
In 1969 at the Worthington High Homecoming Dance, shy good girl and academic overachiever Mary Banner (Lillith Fields), is the victim of a mean prank by the jocks and their popular girlfriends. She is chased and is accidently killed. Mary is stuffed into a trunk in the school’s attic and she ‘officially’ disappears. Mary transforms into the Bloody Mary legend, appearing to those who chant her name repeatedly.
Cut to 2005. Samantha “Sam” Owens (Kate Mara) and her friends, at a sleepover, accidently conjure Bloody Mary. They go missing that same night, only to turn up the next day with no memory of what happened to them. They are pranked by the jocks because of an article Sam wrote in the school newspaper. They were drugged and left in a field. Mary doesn’t like this. The killing starts.
At first Sam, and her brother David (Robert Vito) think the deaths are simple misadventures. Soon they realise there is a force behind these deaths. The mysterious murders are all connected to the people responsible for Mary’s death in 1969. With the help of Mary’s friend and survivor Grace (Tina Lifford), the siblings attempt to stop Mary by finding out who killed her.
This film has elements of I Know What You Did Last Summer and Final Destination weaved into the narrative, as well as a lot of Hello Mary Lou: Prom Night II (1987). Lambert, while admitting this wasn’t her best work, does a good job here with a very small budget. Not bad, not great. Perfectly acceptable, with some good imagery and surprising performances from a cast of mostly then unknowns. CGI sequences did not age well, but that is just a nitpick. Would have liked to have seen more smaller entries like this.
Candyman (1992)
Candyman is a gothic supernatural horror film from writer-director Bernard Rose, based on the short story, “The Forbidden” by Clive Barker.
Helen Lyle (Virginia Madsen) is a semiotics student studying at the University of Illinois Chicago, who is married to university lecturer, Trevor (Xander Berkeley). While researching urban legends, Helen learns of the Candyman, a spirit who kills anyone who speaks his name into the mirror five times. She also learns that recent murders in the Cabrini-Green housing project, and two dozen others, have been attributed to the Candyman by the locals. Helen and her friend Bernadette (Kasi Lemmons), research Candyman interviewing Cabrini-Green residents like Anne-Marie McCoy (Vanessa E. Williams) and expert Purcell (Michael Culkin). They discover that Candyman was Daniel Robitaille (Tony Todd) an African American son of a slave in the late 1800s who grew up to be a well-known painter. But because he fell in love with a wealthy white woman, her father and an angry mod tortured and killed him. He returned as the vengeful Candyman with a hook for a hand.
Helen hears a smooth, deep voice say her name. Candyman who reveals himself to Her. He is a hypnotising and romantic figure, who says he must spill innocent blood to perpetuate his legend, which she is discrediting. People start dying around Helen and her research. Helen, being the prime suspect, is arrested, and later committed. Helen must avoid the police, a cheating husband and an angry mob in order to return to Cabrini-Green and save a child. But to stop Candyman, there must be sacrifice.
This film is an amazing cinematic experience. I love it. Rose’s direction, Madsen’s lead performance, Philip Glass’ haunting and tense score, and Anthony B Richmond’s cinematography, its gothic poetry and a dark fairytale. The film ultimately belongs to Tony Todd, the titular character. Todd plays the romantic and tragic character to perfection. Similar to Frank Langella and Gary Oldman’s portrayals of Dracula. And many have said that Candyman is a black Dracula. There is a fluidity and beauty to his performance, that is dripping with dangerous intent. The character has become one of the most iconic horror movie villains, and this film a modern horror classic.
Candyman: Farewell to the Flesh (1995)
Directed by Bill Condon and written by Rand Ravich & Mark Kruger, this supernatural slasher film is a sequel to the 1992 original. This time taking place in New Orleans with a new take on the tale and the return of Tony Todd as Daniel Robitaille/The Candyman.
After the death of Professor Philip Purcell (Michael Culkin) in New Orleans at the hands of the Candyman, the police consider Ethan Tarrant (William O’Leary) their chief suspect because he had a confrontation with Purcell. Ethan’s Mother Octavia (Veronica Cartwright) and his younger sister, art teacher Annie (Kelly Rowan) defend him. Later, one of her students claims to have seen Candyman, and to discredit this, Annie says his name in the mirror. Candyman stalks Annie, slowly revealing his presence until he kills Annie’s husband Paul (Timothy Carhart). And like the first film, Candyman wants Annie to be his victim, but she is pregnant with Paul’s daughter. That seems to be a hiccup to smooth talking slasher’s plans.
A nice little twist on the mythology and the motivations of the killer, the Tarrant family are direct descendants of Daneil Robitaille and the wealthy daughter of a plantation owner he had an affair with. They are all part of the Candyman curse, as is a cursed mirror that could be the answer to his downfall. This might sound a little silly, but this is a worthy sequel. It has a great visual style, uneasy atmosphere, characters you care about & feel for, and Philip Glass returns with a masterful score. The effects are, like the first film, creepy, gross and inventive. And so many bees. It is cast well, especially Cartwright as the old school waspy rich southern bell who knows the family secret. There are even nice little parts for character actors Matt Clark and Bill Nunn. But this is Tony Todd’s show. His portrayal of the tragic and charismatic killer is the best reason to come back for the sequels. The only downside about this film is all the damn jump scares. It seriously damages the effectiveness of a horror film if they are constant without a narrative or thematic point. Still awesome, just doesn’t shine as bright as the original.
Candyman: Day of the Dead (1999)
In 1999, writer director Kuri Meyer, writer Al Septien, unleashed the third Candyman film. This supernatural slasher film did not enjoy a theatrical release, instead hitting the direct-to-video market, and was the last film in the series until the legacy sequel in 2021.
While released in 1999, the film’s story takes place in Los Angeles 2020 and follows Caroline McKeever (Donna D’Errico) the now grown daughter of Annie Tarrant and Paul McKeever from the previous sequel. The main plot starts as Caroline attends a Candyman themed gallery event by artist Miguel Velasco (Mark Adair-Rios). Caroline says Candyman’s name in a mirror there and Miguel and his lover are first to die by the hook.
The police investigate the killing, and the two seasoned detectives are the evil and vile racist/sexists caricatures that you would like to believe are over the top. But sadly, they are not. Detectives Kraft and Sacco (Wade Williams & Robert O’Reilly) spare no time pinning the murder of David de la Paz (Jsu Garcia), a friend of Miguel’s that Caroline is acquainted with. After she sees Candyman, first in dreams then in person, she tells David and the two set out to stop Candyman and clear David’s name.
Cast is full of recognisable faces: D’Errico was on Baywatch, Garcia, as ‘Nick Corri’ was in the first Elm Street film, and O’Reilly played Gowron on various Star Trek shows. There are some nice supporting roles for Alexia Robinson as Tamara, Rene Riffel and Lina, and Mike Moroff as Tino. But the performances are either two dimensional or stuff we have seen before, much like the story itself. I don’t want to say bland and cliché, but it’s not far off. Tony Todd as Candyman is the only reason to watch this disappointing sequel, because regardless of the film’s quality, Todd still brings his A game.
In my opinion, only for the curious and the horror hound completionists. While I have fond memories of all the Tood Candyman films, you can avoid this and not miss anything important.
Ginger Snaps (2000)
Ginger Snaps is a Canadian supernatural horror, with a healthy dose of body horror and a creature feature, from director John Fawcett and writer Karen Walton. It tells the story of the Fitzgerald sisters, Ginger and the smarter and younger Brigitte (Katherine Isabelle and Emily Perkins), two death obsessed teenage girls who create death inspired art. Their schoolmates call them freaks and teachers don’t understand them. In their town of Bailey Downs, a rash of brutal dog killings are keeping everyone on edge. When the girls head out at night to prank the school bully Trina Sinclair (Danielle Hampton) by making her believe her dog has been attacked, Ginger gets her first period and is then attacked by a werewolf. They manage to get away when the werewolf is hit and killed by a van driven by Sam (Kris Lemche).
Ginger’s body and personality begins to change, due to the werewolf bites. The girls try to find a cure, with Brigitte desperate to save her sister, and hiding what is going on from her parents, especially her mother Pamela (Mimi Rogers). When people start dying because of Ginger, it becomes harder to do. Brigitte enlists the help of Sam, who is a bit of a horticulturist apart from the local drug dealer, to find a cure. They make one with Monkshood. But things don’t go to plan. Before they can inject Ginger, she heads to a Halloween party and this sexy hormone filled teenager turning into a werewolf has fun. That is before the final transformation takes place. One sister must save the other, if she can.
This movie is fantastic. Filled with wicked humour, impressive practical make-up and creature effects, a cool score by Mike Shields, and impressive looking shots thanks to the director and DP Thom Best, this film rocks. The film uses the werewolf transformation, used more like an infection, to comment on gender, female puberty and adolescence, drug addiction, mental health, and sexually transmitted diseases. This last one is rammed home by the syringe filled with the cure and the unprotected sex Ginger has with Jason (Jesse Moss) who slowly starts to turn into a werewolf himself. There is just too much to talk about. GO WATCH THE FILM!!!
Ginger Snaps 2: Unleashed (2004)
This 2004 Canadian horror film directed by Brett Sullivan and written by Megan Martin and follows on from the events of the original cult classic. Brigitte Fitzgerald (Emily Perkins) was infected by her late sister Ginger’s (Katherine Isabelle) blood at the end of the first. As a result, she suffers from the same lycanthropy curse. She lives a nomadic existence, researching werewolf lore and medical texts in libraries hoping to find a cure. She also injects Monkshood (aka Nightshade) as a way to slow the transformation.
After one large injection, Brigitte begins to go into toxic shock from the purple poison, and she senses a male werewolf stalking her. When she tries to flee the motel room, she runs into a kind library worker named Jeremy (Brendan Fletcher). He tries to take her to a hospital, but he is attacked and killed by the male werewolf. Brigitte passes out.
When Brigiette wakes up, she is in a rehab wing of a care facility. Fearing what will happen without the monkshood to slow the whole becoming a werewolf thing, she pleads with the director, Alice (Janet Kidders), to be released. But her behaviour is just seen as a symptom of withdrawal. Brigitte, begrudgingly befriends a young girl nicknamed Ghost (Tatiana Maslany), an overly friendly soul who lives at the facility. Ghost quickly figures out what Brigitte is and she is fascinated. When the male werewolf finds Brigitte again, Ghost helps Brigitte escape the facility. They get to Ghost’s grandmother’s house and prepare for the coming of the werewolf, and try to stop Brigittes transformation. But Ghost has a secret that could change everything.
This film is an example of doing a sequel right. They don’t rehash the first, they head in a different direction and actually try to say something important. The rehab and drug angle was a nice addition, adding tension to the ‘Ticking Clock’ to Brigitte’s eventual transformation. While Isabelle returns as Ginger in apparition/hallucination form, and then newcomer Maslany is hypnotic as Ghost, this is Perkin’s show. Her performance as the strong but tragic Brigitte is both exciting and heartbreaking. On one could ever do better in this role. A howling great flick.
Ginger Snaps Back: The Beginning (2004)
The third instalment of the franchise, entitled Ginger Snaps Back, was also released in 2004 and comes to us from director Grant Harver and writers Stephen Massicatte and Christina Ray. And like the previous film, the filmmakers took this film in a different direction entirely. This is a prequel film with its own unique style. Set in 1815, Brigitte and Ginger Fitzgerald (Emily Perkins and Katherine Isabelle), the ancestors of the characters from the first two films, are lost in the forest as they head east. They are tracked and stalked by unseen creatures. When the creatures make their presence known, their spooked horses flee, leaving the sisters at the mercy of the beasts. They are saved by a Cree man known only as The Hunter (Nathaniel Arcand) and led to the safety of Fort Bailey.
The creatures, werewolves, have besieged Fort Bailey for some time. The sister’s arrival is seen with suspicion. But they are now trapped in the fort’s other residents. Ginger is bitten by a deformed boy locked in an isolated room, before he escapes. The sisters flee the fort and come across the Hunter and an old Cree seer, who tells the girls of a prophecy and the future legacy of the werewolf line. Back at the fort, the military and religious leaders want to burn the sisters. But then, the werewolves. And my god, what a spectacular climax.
While this is not my favourite of the series, it’s stylish, inventive, and it leaves an impression. And it contains a story I don’t want to spoil. It’s a nice ending to the series and connects it to the first two. The film has a similar settling and feel to Antonia Bird’s Ravenous (1999), and has some creepy and scary moments and some great set pieces. Many other filmmakers have tried to blend the western/frontier setting with the horror genre, but few have done the combination justice. But this film, Like Bone Tomahawk and Near Dark, does it damn near flawlessly. Perkins and Isabelle are one of the best double acts in horror. You believe the familiar bounds as characters with difficult choices to make and the weight of the future on their shoulders. Stunning film.
Blade (1998)
In 1998, Marvel had their first cinematic success with the release of the film Blade. This supernatural Action Horror film was directed by Stephen Norrington and written by David S. Goyer, based on the Marvel Comics character created by Marv Wolfman and Gene Colan.
Blade (Wesley Snipes) is a supernatural infused character, as his mother was bitten by a vampire while she was pregnant with him. As a result, Blade has all of the vampire’s strengths and none of their weaknesses, like being able to go out in the daylight. This earns him the moniker of Day Walker from the vampires he hunts. He is aided in his quest to rid the world of the undead blood suckers in the form of father figure and Q-like equipment specialist Whistler (Kris Kristofferson).
Their main target is the vampire Deacon Frost (Stephen Dorff), a leader of a younger band of vampires which also include sadistic jokester Quinn (Donal Logue) and twisted femme fatale Mercury (Arly Jover). They want to start a war with the humans and to do it they have to perform a ritual using Blade’s blood to resurrect a long dead vampire god.
Blade and Whistler are aided in their fight by haematologist Dr Karen Jenson (N’Bushe Wright), who was bitten by a vamp at the hospital she works at. She helps Whistler find a cure for vampirism and a stronger serum for Blade to suppress his vampiric blood lust. It all culminates in an all-out action fest full of martial arts, gun-fu, CGI spectacle, and a final boss fight between Blade and Frost. With a little tragedy along the way.
This film is well written, shot, choreographed, and acted. Snipes is iconic here. And there are some recognisable faces in the cast that include Tim Guinee, Traci Lords, Judson Scott and the great Udo Kier. The CGI, which was better received 25 years ago, has not aged well, but the make-up effects make up for that, which are top notch. Norrington does a decent job behind the camera in his first Hollywood feature, but doesn’t quite nail it as he did with his debut Death Machine. This is where it all started for Marvel. Fun flick and very rewatchable, despite plot holes.
Blade II (2002)
With every success comes a sequel, and in 2002 we got the far superior Blade II, directed by Guillermo del Toro, and once again written by David S. Goyer. This supernatural action horror film also adds sci-fi elements and some cool ‘men and a mission’ cliches. The movie opens in Prague, as Blade (Wesley Snipes) rescues the thought dead Whistler (Kris Kristofferson) from his undead captures. He had been turned into a vampire following the events of the third film, but never fear, Blade has the cure. With Whistler back on the team, he is instantly at odds with the new guy, Scud (Norman Reedus), who took his place in his absence.
Elsewhere, a pandemic is turning vampires into Reapers, vicious mutant-like creatures that feed on humans and vampires alike. The Vampire overlord Damaskinos (Thomas Kretschmann), send Asad and his daughter Nyssa (Danny John-Jules & Leonor Varela) to Blade and his team to strike a truce and form a temporary alliance to stop the Reapers and the infections patient zero, Nomak (Luke Goss). To this end, Blade teams up with a group of vampires called the Bloodpack, who were put together to fight Blade, to stop the Reapers. The team consists of Asad, Nyssa, Reinhardt (Ron Perlman), Chupa (Matthew Schulze), Snowman (the great Donnie Yen), Priest (Tony Curran), Verlaine (Marit Velle Kile) and Lighthammer (Daz Crawford). And this mismatched and uneasy team hunt down and kill the Reapers, until Blade uncovers the revelation that Damaskinos created Nomak and the infection that endangers them all as a way to kill him. And Nomak is out for revenge against the vampire overload and his kin. Along the way there are further revelations, betrayals, and surprising heartfelt moments, leading up to a kick-ass climax.
This is my favourite of the Blade films. It has the same intense choreographed fight sequences enhanced with some CGI as the first, but it’s Guillermo del Toro’s visual style and shot composition that set him apart from other entries. You can tell he has an affinity with the monsters, both good and bad. And the excellent cast, which includes del Torro good luck charm Pearlman, reinforced that. The make-up effects, creature design, and Marco Beltrami’s score enriches everything.
Blade Trinity (2004)
In 2004 we got the third Blade film, entitled Blade Trinity. With Guillermo del Toro declining to return to make Hellboy (a good choice in retrospect), directing duties were taken by the writer of the series, including this one, David S. Goyer.
In this film, the war between humans and vampires continues to escalate. A highly funded band of vampires, led by brother and sister sociopaths Danica and Asher Talos (Parker Posey & Callum Keith Rennie) and their meathead henchmen Jarko (Triple H), head to Syria and uncover the tomb of “Drake”, believe to be the first vampire, to help them crush the humans. But Drake goes by another name, Dracula (played by Dominic Purcell). To keep Blade out of the way, they frame him for the death of one of the vampire’s familiars. The FBI track Blade to his hideout where he is taken into custody and Whistler (Kris Kristofferson) is killed. Blade is rescued from lock up by a group of hunters that Whistler put together called the Nightstalkers, led by Hannibal King and Whistler’s daughter Abigail (Ryan Reynolds & Jessica Biel). Blade and the Nightstalkers team to investigate the vampire organisation, and track down Dracula, who in turn is stalking them. And because he can shapeshift, he has an easier time of it.
The team finds “blood farms”, highly prominent vampire familiars, and vampire dogs. With the cops chasing them and the vampires hunting them, there is tragedy along the way. But this fuels their determination to kick undead ass.
I wanted to like this film, because there are elements that are damn good. But there seem to be too many of them, and none are executed all that well. The Resurrection of Dracula, the vampire plot, or the Blade frame job and being hunted by FBI and vamps all could have been a great film. But loading them all together, I think, was disastrous. There is an inconsistency in tone and structure throughout, especially when our lead seems to get sidelined for the newbies. And the Nightstalkers seem like a very Scooby Gang. Apart from the bad CGI, the film does look good. Muddled, the only bright spot is Ryan Reynolds. Bless you, you Canadian God.
Maniac Cop (1988)
Maniac Cop is an action mystery slasher film directed by William Lustig and written by Larry Cohen, and with a pedigree like that, you just know it’s a hell of a film. In New York City, innocent citizens are being brutally killed by a mysterious 6-foot 5 patrol police officer. The media nickname him, the Maniac Cop, and as a result innocent cops are killed by panicked people. Grizzled detective Frank McCrae (Tom Atkins) is put on the case. He is instantly at odds with Commissioner Riley (Richard Roundtree) and Captain Smith (William Smith), who believe it is a ‘psycho’ out to discredit the police, while McCrae believes it to be a cop or ex-cop doing the killing with someone on the inside feeding them information.
Across town, Ellen Forrest suspects her husband, Jack Forrest (Bruce Campbell) of being the maniac cop as he has become distant and works extra shifts. He follows him one night only to find he is having an affair with fellow cop Teresa Mallory (Laurene Landon). Ellen runs from the hotel room he found them in, and is killed by the maniac cop. Later, when her body is found in the very same hotel room, Jack is suspect number one. With Jack in custody, McCrae and Theresa work the case to find the killer and free Jack. They discover that the maniac cop is actually Matt Cordell (Robert Z’Dar) , a cop that was framed by city hall and sent to prison where he was thought to be killed by inmates. He suffered serious brain damage and was snuck out of the prison in a coffin and back on the streets with revenge on his mind. Our heroes must stop Cordell and avoid the cops and the Maniac Cop himself.
With a great cast of character actors, led by Campbell and Atkins, a really great story, solid direction and a wonderful score by Jay Chattaway, this was always destined to be a cult classic. Gore and make-up effects are pretty good too. Z’Dar’s Cordell/Maniac Cop should be in the same discussion with movie monster villains of the era like Michael Myers and Jason. He is that effective. The action and chase sequences are also damn impressive. Great flick with something to say.
Maniac Cop 2 (1990)
1990 saw the return of the directing and writing team of William Lustig and Larry Cohen for the action slasher sequel, Maniac Cop 2. After being impaled and driving off the pier, Matt Cordell (Robert Z’Dar), is thought dead, even though his body wasn’t recovered. But everyone’s favourite Maniac Cop returns, still in uniform and restarts his killing spree. The top of his ‘hit list’ are Officers Jack Forrest and Theresa Mallory (Bruce Campbell and Laurene Landon). Our two heroes are ordered by the new Commissioner Edward Doyle (Michael Lerner) to undergo a psychiatric evaluation which is where they meet the therapist Officer Susan Riley (Claudia Christian) and it does not go well. Later, at a newsstand, Jack is fatally stabbed by Cordell. With another cover-up happening surrounding Jack’s death, Theresa decides to go on television to spill the beans with Riley’s help. But on the way, Cordell strikes. At the end of a kick ass car chase, Theresa is dead and Riley badly hurt.
Here, grizzled detective Sean McKinney (Robert Davi), steps up his investigation as too many things don’t add up. With Riley’s help, he discovers it is indeed Cordell that is killing, and moves heaven and hell to stop him, not matter the corruption he stirs up. When Cordell busts his new friendly neighbourhood serial killer BFF, Turkell (Leo Rossi) out of lock-up a la The Terminator, and Cordell, Turkell and the other criminals head to Sing Sing to release the prisoners. But when McKinney convinces the commissioner to come clean over a loudspeaker at the prison, Cordell dispatches the bad guys and dies in a spectacular explosion.
With top-notch action sequences, effective gore, and an uneasy atmosphere, this operates as an impressive action thriller as well as a slasher. This film, like the first, shows its narrative ‘brass balls’ by killing off the returning heroes from the first film early on, replacing them with equally impressive characters. It is ambiguous where Cordell is undead or just a ‘Michael-Jason’ style force of nature, despite the make-up on Cordell that is more mutilated/decayed than previously. But damn, this is a wild ride, and Jay Chattaway’s score pushes it towards epic status.
Maniac Cop III: Badge of Silence (1993)
The director and writer team of William Lustig and Larry Cohen reunite again for the last film in the Maniac Cop franchise, with 1993 Maniac Cop III: Badge of Silence. Like the previous film, the third instalment also went direct-to-video.
Here, our villain/anti-hero Matt Cordell (Robert Z’Dar) gets what others horror icons received, a supernatural resurrection. Only hinted at in the previous film, with Cordell’s resurrection from the dead at the hands of Voodoo priest Houngan (Julius Harris), here it is not questioned. This is a Cordell zombie.
Officer Kate “Katie” Sullivan (Gretchen Becker) is shot in the line of duty at a pharmacy robbery. She is taken to the hospital but is in a coma and later pronounced brain dead. Or is She? Throughout the film we see Kate in a dream-like world interacting with, or all people, Cordell. Kaye is like family to Detective Sean McKinney (Robert Davi), whose rage at the shooting and later treatment of his charge almost derails him. Cordell is watching over Kate and killing all those who have done or will do her wrong. McKinney is put on the case; he and Dr Susan Fowler (Caitlin Dulany) investigate the killing and their connections to Kate. Their quest leads them to Houngan and Cordell.
There is a twisted ‘Bride of Frankenstein’ element here. Cordell wants Hougan to resurrect Kate to be like him. When he can’t because Kaye’s spirit refuses, Cordell shoots the Voodoo priest. After an explosive climax, the end shots are a little heartbreaking. Lustig’s style from the previous film is still present, and with the sentimental ends, caps the series and Cordell’s story nicely. Joel Goldsmith does the music here and it’s pretty good, even if I do prefer Chattaway’s score from two. Davi and Z’Dar own the show here, but we do get some solid supporting players with Paul Gleason, Jackie Earle Haley, Grand L. Bush, Doug Savant, Ted Riami, and the great Robert Forster.
If the film had a bigger budget, it would have eclipsed the first two films. But this film was made by masters and what we got is damn good, extremely stylish and immensely satisfying. I just wanted more.
Epilogue
We have come to the end for this list of the Rule of Three for this Halloween. I must challenge myself to find another ten horror trilogies for next year, and this was wicked fun. Stay spooky, you beautiful freaks.
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The Rule of Three: Halloween 2023. Part One.
Hello there Boils and Ghouls. This Spooky season at Exploiting Wonderland, I’m did something something different with the horror films I reviewed. They weren’t individual films, but trilogies. That’s right Horror Hounds, I tried to get through as many horror trilogies I could in thirty days, in, what I’m called, the Rule of Three.
On my list of there are classics, weird shit, and oddball franchises like Evil Dead, Re-Animator, Ginger Snaps, Maniac Cop, The Exorcist, Psycho and The Omen, as well as many more. And yes, I know Psycho and The Omen both have four parts, but I am leaving off the fourth parts of those because they were made for TV movies. They will be included in a TV movie sequel collection somewhere down the line, If the evil Jack-o-lanterns in my dreams don’t get to me first. Oh, and don’t forget to ‘like’ all these ramblings. And leave a comment telling me what your favourite horror trilogy is.
So, turn down the lights, draw the protection symbols on the house, pour a circle of salt around the sofa, and let’s celebrate the creepy, scary, and gory films we all love so much.
Um, why is there a severed hand in my popcorn?
Psycho (1960)
Psycho is an American horror thriller produced and directed by Alfred Hitchcock, with a screenplay written by Joseph Stefano, based on the novel of the same name by Robert Bloch. And if you haven’t seen this film, shame on you. Go and stand in the corner and think about what you have done.
The story starts with Marion Crane (Janet Leigh) and her boyfriend Sam Loomis (John Gavin), talking about their relationship after some afternoon delight on their lunch break. Marion wants a more serious relationship, and Sam is worried about what kind of life they would have with all his debt. When Marion returns to work, she is tasked to deliver $40,000 to her boss’s safe deposit box. But instead, she packs a bag, steals the money and drives out of town, headed for Sam in the town of Fairvale, California.
Along the way, she stops at a small roadside motel, the Bates Motel, to get some sleep. Here she meets the owner and manager, young Norman Bates (Anthony Perkins, in a career best), a shy and put upon man at the mercy of his abusive mother who lives in the house behind the motel. After sharing a meal with Norman, Marion decides to head back home and face the music. But she is killed, stabbed to death in the shower, seemingly by Mrs Bates. Norman cleans up the crime.
His is where the story shifts. Marion’s sister Lila (Vera Miles), along with Sam and Private Eye Arbogast (Martin Balsam), investigate the disappearance which leads them to the Bates Motel and Norman. And the mysterious silhouette of a woman in a window. The ending is iconic in a classic film that has burned itself into the retinas of popular culture.
I can’t find a flaw in this film. Hitchcock’s direction is masterful, using the crew from his Alfred Hitchcock Presents TV series to save money. Saul Bass’ credits, Bernard Herrman’s music, and John Russell’s camera are pitch perfect. The performances, especially Leigh and Perkins, are so well realised, you think they are real people. This film tricks you into feeling sympathy for the killer. My favourite element: everybody thinking it’s all about the money, until the end. And mother’s final lines.
Psycho II (1983)
Psycho II is a dramatic horror thriller sequel to the Hitchcock original directed by Richard Franklin and written by Tom Holland.
23 years after Norman Bates (Anthony Perkins) was institutionalised for the murders of six people Norman is released as a free man. He returns home to the Bates Motel and the gothic house standing on the hill behind it. His psychiatrist Dr Raymond (Robert Loggia) helps him re-enter the world, even going so far as to get him a job as a kitchenhand at a local diner. Here he meets Mary (Meg Tilly), a wandering soul who ends up staying with Norman after her boyfriend kicks her out. The two become close friends.
Norman is trying to rebuild his life, and show the world he is a sane and kind person. But the trauma of the past, and its effects on others, still haunts him. Outside forces are determined to make Norman’s life hell and break his mind. The sleazy motel manager Toomey (Dennis Franz) who Norman fires, Lila Loomis (Vera Miles), Marion Crane’s sister, who is trying to get Norman locked up again, and someone else using the guise of Norman’s mother. When people start disappearing, the police and Dr Raymond are concerned that Norman may have reverted to his old ways. Things are further complicated when it is revealed that Mary is Lila’s daughter.
The mystery element elevates the film from early 80s slashers. Franklin, a student of Hitchcock’s, does a masterful job here and Holland’s script adds to the mythos of the original without taking anything away. The sympathy you feel for Norman is greater than the original as we see him struggle with sanity. Perkins, again, delivers a career best as Norman and is a good deal of the reason the film works. Vera Miles as Lila (the only other recurring character) is riveting and delivers a performance that rivals Perkins. Lila has become a vengeful woman twisted by anger and grief, trying to destroy the ‘demon’ that took her sister, but ends up creating one and bringing down herself and her daughter. One of the best sequels ever produced and deserves more praise. The ending is as affecting on the audience as the original. Brillant filmmaking.
Psycho III (1986)
Coming three years after the last entry, Psycho III is a slight step down from two, but I still thank the horror Gods. Three is a horror slasher film directed by Norman himself Anthony Perkins with a script by Charles Edward Pogue.
Norman is running the Bates Motel outside of Fairvale, and after the events of the previous film, he has a new preserved corpse Mother and the murderous mother persona of Norman’s slowly starts to resurface. Three people enter Norman’s life that test his grip on sanity, his ability to control and cover up for ‘Mother’. The first is a young woman, Maureen Coyle (Diana Scarwid), a tormented ex-Nun running from a crisis of faith and scandal. Second, is Duane Dukes (Jeff Fahey), a musician and all-round douche bag, who gets a job at the motel. And Lastly Tracy Venable (Roberta Maxwell), a pushy, selfish, almost sleazy journalist fishing for a story about Norman and his murders. Once again, all the action centres around the motel and the house on the hill.
What is interesting about this entry is the relationship between Norman and Maureen. When Norman first sees her, he has flashbacks to Marion Crane, who she resembles. But Norman saves her from suicide in the motel, and the two lost souls find hope, love, and the possibility of salvation and redemption in each other. That is until ‘Mother’ gets in the way. Perkins again acts up a storm portraying Norman as a man who fights to free himself.
But it’s Perkins’ ability and creativity as a filmmaker that is so impressive here. Especially for a first-time director. His use of camera placement, movement, framing and usual but effective scene transitions are astonishing. His use of shadows and coloured lighting go a long way to convey mood, emotion and intent in the characters and the scenes without a word said. Carter Burwell’s score stitches it all together.
With this film Anthony Perkins, who had a rocky relationship with the Norman character over the years, leans in to the legacy and takes control of the character and his ending in a satisfying way, while still giving fans what they wanted. Perkins owns this film, and all its praise.
The Evil Dead (1981)
The Evil Dead is a 1981 supernatural horror film, and certified cult classic, from then first-time writer director Sam Raimi. In the film, five Michigan State University students – Ash Williams (Bruce Campbell), his girlfriend Lisa (Betsy Baker), his sister Cheryl (Ellen Sandweiss), their friend and insufferable jock Scott (Richard DeManincor), and Scott’s girlfriend Shelly (Theresa Tilly) – all decide to head to an abandoned cabin in rural Tennessee for a holiday break. I could think of better places, but okay.
It’s a spooky place, and weird things start to happen. The only person who is unnerved by it is the artist, Cheryl. In the fruit cellar, the group finds the Naturon Demonto, a Sumerian version of the Book of the Dead, as well as a tape recording an archaeologist explaining his find and reading passages from the book. These incantations release an evil supernatural force into the surrounding woods that sets its sights on the five innocent college kids. What follows is possessions, psychological torture from the reality bending entity, gory fun and that pencil in the ankle scene that always makes me cringe.
It’s a simple premises for a movie, but it’s an impressive film still to this day. I think it is mainly because the filmmakers didn’t know the ‘right’ way to make a movie. They just made it. It was a group of friends, led by Raimi, Campbell and producer Robert G Tapert, shooting it over the span of a few years with a budget of just $375,000. What they managed to do was create a film that was actually scary and well received, and spawned a franchise of sequels, remakes, TV shows, Games, and a tsunami of merchandise.
The character of Ash, the iconic face of the franchise thanks to Campbell, is a very different person here, a more of a meek character than what he became. The camera, lighting, music and sound design slowly change to create an uneasy and disturbing atmosphere and a claustrophobic nightmare. There is also a unique design to the possessed, and the rapid decomposition scene is ‘icky’ goodness. The Stephen King praised film is inventive and influenced many a low-budget horror film. But soon the franchise turns up to 11.
Evil Dead 2 (1987)
Six years after the first, the team got back together to bring the world Evil Dead 2. Due to complicated rights issues, they decided to create a film that today would be called a soft reboot. This gave Sam, Bruce and Rob the freedom to do something very different with the film.
Here Ash (Bruce Campbell) and his girlfriend Linda (Denise Bixler) head to a remote cabin in the woods for a romantic getaway. They find an old book and a tape recorder with the voice of Dr Raymond Knowby, the cabin’s most recent inhabitant, telling of his discovery of the Necronomicon Ex-Mortis or Book of The Dead. The voice then recites passages from the book which unleashes a demonic force into the surrounding woods, which then crashes through the bedroom window and takes Linda. From here, Ash is tormented by the undead corpse of Linda, other worldly noises and voices, visions of his evil double, inanimate objects come to life (including a stuffed Moose head on the wall), and his own severed hand.
Meanwhile, Knowby daughter and his assistant, Annie Knowby and Ed Getley (Sarah Berry & Richard Domeier) head to the cabin with the lost pages of the Necronomicon, with Jake and his girlfriend Bobby Joe (Dan Hicks & Kassie Wesley DePaiva), who lead them through the woods. Once there, they believe Ash, now missing a hand and brandishing a shotgun, has killed Annie’s parents. But when possessions start, and the reanimated corpse of Annie’s mother Henrietta (Ted Raimi) tries to kill them, they must recite the passages from the new pages and stop the evil.
This film is the best known in the franchise, mixing genuine scares with Three Stooges style slapstick. And Raimi’s signature style is all over this. There are effective jump scares, great scene transitions and cuts to up the creepy factor, especially the scenes where the Evil Dead is psychologically torturing Ash, which Joseph Lo Duca’s score blends well. The film uses optical effects, stop motion, miniatures and matte paintings and make-up effects from legends like Mark Shostrom, Greg Nicotero, Howard Berger and Robert Kurtzman. But Bruce Campbell is the reason I keep coming back to this. In a word, this film is, “Groovy”.
Army of Darkness (1992)
If Evil Dead 2 was Raimi and the team listing lazily to the left and adding different story elements and humour to their film, Army of Darkness is them doing a sharp left turn at high speed, complete with tire squealing sound effects. Sam Raimi is back in the director’s chair, co-writing with his brother Ivan, produced by Robert Tapert and Bruce Campbell, with Campbell returning as our hero Ash Williams.
At the end of the last film, Ash and his Oldsmobile Delta 88 are sent back to medieval England. Here he is mistaken for (correctly) the Promised One of Prophecy that will help defeat the Deadites, by Lord Arther (Marcus Gilbert) and his Wiseman (Ian Abercrombie). He romances Sheila (Embeth Davidtz) with his pillow talk, and is sent on a quest for the Necronomicon in this time located in a creepy graveyard that looks suspiciously like a sound stage. Of course, he screws it up. He retrieves the book, but releases an army of the dead from their graves that marches on Arther’s castle. Ash must convince them, train and educate the people, with some help from Duke Henry (Richard Grove) and his men, to defeat the evil led by Ash’s evil doppelganger (also Campbell).
This film is not a horror film, or a horror comedy, this is a swashbuckling adventure film with horror elements and a ton of comedy. Think A Connecticut Yankee in King Arther’s Court mixed with Ray Harryhausen’s Sinbad movies, and you’re way there. Ash here is like a blending of Indianna Jones and Jack Burton with a chip on his shoulder. Raimi’s style is intact, as is the slapstick humour. The film is overflowing to cool set pieces and action. Joseph Lo Duca music reflects that, with a little help from Danny Elfman. The scenes in the abandoned windmill where Ash fights tiny versions of himself, and the graveyard are highlights. This film is bonkers, exciting, fun and endlessly quotable. It shows Bruce Campbell’s range. He should have been a hero like Indianna Jones leading man. Kurtzman, Nicotero and Berger return for the effects, as does Raimi’s brother Ted play multiple parts in different wigs and fake beards. A favourite and still ‘Groovy’.
The Exorcist (1973)
This supernatural horror film is one of the finest pieces of filmmaking you will ever watch, and an example of an often-maligned genre taken seriously. The critical and commercial secured its place in the cultural zeitgeist by burning itself on the retinas of the audience members.
Directed by maverick William Friedkin and written by William Peter Blatty, based on his novel of the same name, the film centres around the demonic possession of 12-year-old Regan MacNeil (Linda Blair) by an evil entity. As her behaviour slowly changes from strange and out of character, to violent and demonic, her increasingly worried mother Chris MacNeill (Ellen Burstyn), a successful actress, takes her daughter to doctor’s, psychiatrists, neurologists, and other specialists. No one can help her daughter. Chris’ search leads her to a priest and psychiatrist Father Damien Karras (Jason Miller), a man who’s having a crisis of faith due to the death of his ill mother. Karras is both concerned and intrigued by Regan especially after meeting her. He begins to investigate. After consulting with the higher ups, they send for Father Merrin (Max von Sydow), a priest who has had experience with exorcisms. Merrin and Karras spiritually do battle with the demon Pazuzu in order to save Regan. And the fight cost them all a great deal.
What is so effective about the film is the slow progression of the story and the horrors it contains. Showing the bland everyday nature of the world in Georgetown and the sweet and loving little girl and her loving mother, and their relationship. When Regan’s behaviour changes, we are concerned. When Regan goes full demonic, the terror is real and lasting. Blair and Burstyn are fearless and the emotional core of the film. Jason Miller’s Father Karras is equally great, playing a man both of faith and sceptical, who is emotionally broken. He is heartbreaking.
Jack Nitzsche’s score, and the use of Mike Oldfield’s ‘Tubular Bells’ creates a disturbing atmosphere, and Dick Smith’s make-up effects unnerves you with Regan’s demonic appearance. And the sound design still gives me cold shivers. If you haven’t seen it, put it on your list this Halloween. Or I’m sending Pazuzu after you.
Exorcist II: The Heretic (1977)
This sequel to the 1973 original is notorious, for all the wrong reasons. This supernatural horror film was directed by John Boorman and written by William Goodhart. And they both need to sit in the corner and think about what they’ve done.
Linda Blair returns and Regan MacNeil, now 16 and wants to become an actor like her mother. Also returning is Kitty Winn as her mother’s assistant Sharon Spencer, who is looking after Regan while Chris is on location. Regan is also seeing a psychiatrist Dr Gene Tuskin (Louise Fletcher) concerning not only the traumatic experiences of the first film, but also the graphic and disturbing nightmares she has been having. To this end, Dr Tuskin uses a machine with blinking lights that hypnotises both people hooked up to it, so they both can experience the dreams/visions of the patient. Some serious McGuffin stuff.
Also, Father Philip Lamont (Richard Burton) is investigating the death of Father Merrin from the first film. He eventually finds his way to Regan and Dr Tuskin, and the weird miracle machine. Convinced that this machine could help him with his investigation, he gets involved, entering Regan’s mind. And that’s basically the film. No. I’m serious. In the visions, Max von Sydow returns as Father Merrin as we see him face off against Pazuzu for the first-time in Africa, trying to help a possessed child named Kokumo. We also see James Earl Jones and the grown up Kokumo, first in dreams wearing some ridiculous costumes (one has him dressed as a giant Locus), and in the real world as a scientist dressed all in white. There is also a small part played by Ned Beatty that doesn’t go anywhere.
And that seems to be just the problem. None of the events in the film go anywhere, or make any kind of sense. I’m still confused by it. The actor’s, especially the drunk Burton, seem lost. The Ennio Morricone score is cool, but can’t save this. The visuals are amazing, being stylish, beautiful and well composed. Watching it without sound is so cool. In the end, it is a mess. It’s a director making a sequel he didn’t want to make to a movie he didn’t like.
The Exorcist III (1990)
In 1990, the author of the original novel and screenwriter of the original film, Willam Peter Blatty, wrote and directed the third instalment of the franchise, partly based on his novel Legion. It was a film that redeemed the franchise, and it is my favourite of all the Exorcist films.
The film follows Lieutenant William F. Kinderman (George C. Scott taking over from Lee J. Cobb from the original) as he investigates a series of occult themed murders in the Georgetown area that have disturbing similarities to the serial killer Gemini, who was executed fifteen years previously.
Kinderman consults with Dr Temple (Scott Wilson), the head of the psychiatric ward at the hospital, who tells Kinderman of a mysterious man who was found wandering aimlessly fifteen years ago with amnesia. He is a patient, and was initialised with catatonia. Recently he has become violent and claimed to be the Gemini Killer. When Kinderman visits the patient, is it the spitting image of Father Damien Karras (Jason Miller), who saved young Regan MacNeil fifteen years ago. But when the patient’s voice and personally begin to change into the supposed Gemini Killer, we and Kinderman see another face, here portrayed by the great Brad Dourif. AS Kinderman investigates, nurses begin to die, Dr Temple commits suicide, and his friend Father Dyer (Ed Flanders taking over from the original’s Reverend William O’Malley), which Kinderman sees in a dream before it happens. All these strange events lead Kinderman to believe his old friend Karras has been possessed by Gemini and is being guided by other evil forces to kill from within his padded cell. There is also a determined priest Father Morning (Nicol Williamson) intent on exorcising patient X. And what an ending.
This is only the second time Blatty was in the director chair, and I am in awe of the film he created. The atmosphere is tense and thick, the cinematography is fluid poetry, and every jump scare is earned. Barry De Vorzon’s score rivals the previous entries creating mood and tension. Until the climax, the effects are minimal but well done and creepy. But is George C Scott’s performance that holds everything together, a great actor playing a good man beaten down. Perfection.
The Omen (1976)
The Omen is a supernatural horror film that uses the tropes of the mystery thriller to great effects to pull you in. Directed by Richard Donner and written by David Seltzer, it tells the story of American diplomat Robert Thorn (played by Hollywood royalty Gregory Peck) who slowly begins to believe his five-year-old son Damien (Harvey Stephens) is, in fact, the antiChrist.
Five years after Damien’s birth in Rome, Thorn is appointed to the Ambassadorship of Great Britain, and he, his son, and his wife Kathy (Lee Remick) relocate. It’s here, in their new home, a series of mysterious and tragic events begin to plague the Thorn’s. All centred around Damien. Its starts with the very public suicide of the Thorn’s governess at Damien’s birthday party. Which opens the door, so to speak, for the anti-Mary Poppins, Mrs Baylock (Billie Whitelaw) to take the job. Things become a little concerning with the arrival of Father Brennan (Patrick Troughton), who after trying several times, finally gets Thorn to listen to him about the antiChrist and lays out what needs to be done. After Father Brennan meets his end, Thorn and photoJournalist Keith Jennings (David Warner) begin to look into the death(s), and Damien’s adoption in Rome. Oh, yeah. Damien is technically not Thron’s son, something he has kept from his wife. Thorn and Jennings head to Rome to the old hospital that burned down, a monastery, and cemetery, and finally after more deaths, to an archaeologist and exorcist Carl Bugenhagen (Leo McKern). Bugenhagen tells Thorn about the antiChrist, the conspiracy surrounding him, and how Thorn must kill the child on hallowed ground with seven daggers.
This film has a couple of things going for it. Gregory Peck’s performance and how his character slowly over the course of the whole film, becomes convinced of the evil nature of the child he is raising. How the odd occurrences and the deaths could easily be explained away. Like the ‘experts’, who could have easily been mistaken. The only hiccup is Mrs Baylock and her creepy devotion to Damien, and Whitelaw is awesome in the role. Also, the most memorable decapitation scene in horror, and a final shot that will give you chills.
Damien: The Omen II (1978)
This supernatural horror film from 1978 (Good Year That) from director Don Taylor and writers Stanely Mann & Mike Hodges is a worthy sequel to the original hit film. Jerry Goldsmith returns for the score. Set seven years after the events of the first film, 12-year-old Damien Thorn (this time played by Jonathon Scott-Taylor), is living with his Aunt and Uncle, Ann and Richard Thorn (Lee Grant & William Holden), and his cousin and best friend Mark (Lucas Donat). He is also attending Military School where he is excelling. Damien is a decent kid, although he can be a little arrogant and selfish at times.
Two people take an interest in Damien; one is Paul Buher (Robert Foxworth) who works for his rich industrialist Uncle, and the other is Sergeant Neff (the great Lance Henriksen), an instructor at the military school. They are both secret Satanists, hidden in plain sight, to help Damien grow into the full antiChrist of prophecy. After being urged to read Revelations by Neff, Damien discovers his true heritage. At first, he is horrified by this, not wanting the power, title or responsibility. But resigns himself to his fate, because if he falters, another will be born. By the film’s end, Damien has become his father’s son.
Scott-Taylor does an excellent job as the pre-adolescent Damien. You can see the pain and turmoil on this face, as he tries to keep his secret. The scene with his cousin Mark is heartbreaking, as you realise it seals Damien’s fate. The film is partially a retread of the original, with those you find out about or investigate Damien, come to a grizzly end. But it also adds other things like Damien’s true nature and the Satanist cabal which were not clear cut in the original. Screen legend William Holden does a great job as Richard Thorn, playing a similar role that Gregory Peck played, a good man who slowly realises he is raising the antiChrist. And there is a nice twist with Grant’s Aunt Ann I didn’t see coming on first watch. There are some cool death scenes, but it’s stuff you’ve seen before. Except for the elevator scene, and it’s a doozy. Good sequel, but doesn’t go far enough.
The Final Conflict: Omen III (1981)
The third instalment of The Omen franchise, directed by Graham Baker and written by Andrew Birkin, was released in 1981 and completes the story of Damien Thorn, this time played by Sam Neill in one of his first major film roles. Damein Thorn has been running Thorn Industries for seven years, and the company is in everything from food and agriculture, to electronics and weapons manufacture. Following the grisly suicide of the US Ambassador to the United Kingdom, the president appoints Damein to the position as well as president of the United Nation Youth Counsil. Damien believes that the second coming of Christ will take place in England with the birth of a male child, and being in England in an official capacity will better help him and his followers track down and destroy the child.
The seven Daggers of Megiddo have been discovered and are now in possession of Father DeCarlo (Rossano Brazzi) who is obsessed with destroying Damien. He is aided by six other priests as they survey, bait and try to kill the wealthy anti-Christ. Damien starts a relationship with a television journalist and news presenter Kate Reyolds (Lisa Harrow), whose 12-year-old son Peter (Barnaby Holm) soon falls under his evil influence.
After Damien senses that the Christ child has been born, he orders his second in command Dean (Don Gordon) to use every person that they have to track down and kill every baby born 24th of March. Which doesn’t sit right will Dean because his own son was born on that day. This action, this further relationship with Kate and her son, and Father DeCarlo’s interference all lead to Damien’s downfall.
This film is not as well regarded as the previous entries, and I could never figure out why. Jerry Goldsmith returns again to do the music, and Phil Meheux & Robert Paynter’s cinematography is quite beautiful in its compositions. Baker’s directing, while not as successful as Donner and Taylor’s, doesn’t leave anything on the floor. But this film is Sam Neill’s show. He is electric as the charismatic son of the devil, who at times seems at odds with his actions. A very well-crafted film with some great creepy moments and a stunning ending.
I Know What You Did Last Summer (1997)
Teen Slashers got a boost after the release of Scream in 1996. The following year, in an attempt to cash in on the sub-genre, a previously un-made script by Scream scribe Kevin Williamson got the green light. I Know What You Did Last Summer, based on the teen thriller by Lois Duncan, and directed by Jim Gillespie, hit cinemas in October of 1997.
At the centre of the story are four friends: Cute overachiever Julie James and her working-class boyfriend Ray Bronson (Jennifer Love Hewitt & Freddie Prinze Jr.), popular girl and beauty pageant winner Helen Shivers (Sarah Michelle Geller), and her rich, hot tempered asshat boyfriend Barry Cox (Ryan Phillippe). After Helen wins the local pageant, the four friends head to a party to drink, dance and be merry. Later, they continue the drinking at the beach with a bonfire as the couples pair off. On their way home, with all of them swimming with teenage hormones and alcohol, they’re not keeping their eyes on the road. They hit a man. Drunk, panicked, and fearing this will destroy their futures, they dump the body off the dock and try to pretend it didn’t happen.
A year later, when Julie returns home for college, she reconnects with her friends in the worst way when she receives a note that reads, ‘I Know What You Did Last Summer’. What follows is the four friends trying to figure out who the writer of the note, and the stalker that is invading their lives is. They investigate every avenue they can, and when they start to get close, the shadowy figure starts to kill.
For a slasher, this film is light on the kills, with the film being more of a mystery thriller. But it is still effective. While the film hasn’t held up as well as the Scream franchise, IKWYDLS is still fondly remembered. The four leads play their parts well, and you believe and feel for them. There are cool smaller roles from Anne Heche, Brigette Wilson and a pre- Big Bang Theory Johnny Galecki. Won’t blow your socks off, but a groovy little 97 miuntes.
I Still Know What You Did Last Summer (1998)
After the success of I Know What You Did Last Summer, the sequel, aptly named I Still Know What You Did Last Summer, hit cinema screens a little over a year later on 13th November 1998. The entry was directed by Danny Cannon and written by Trey Callaway and was not as successful.
A year after the events of the last film, Julie (Jennifer Love Hewitt) is back at college trying to live a normal life. She is plagued by the nightmare of the fisherman killer from the first film. Her studies are starting to suffer. She is in a now long-distance relationship with Ray (Freddie Prinze Jr.), who still lives and works in their hometown. Her roommate Karla Wilson (Brandy) and her sweet well-meaning friend Will Benson (Matthew Settle) are worried about her. When Ray comes up to see her and takes her home for the 4th of July, Julie doesn’t want to go back because the trauma is still too fresh. They have an argument, and Ray drives home.
After Karla wins a radio contest for four all-expense paid tickets to the Bahamas, Julie invites Ray who turns it down. So, Will joins the foursome which, apart from Julie and Karla, also includes Karla’s douchebag boyfriend Tyrell (Mekhi Phifer). When they arrive, the holiday winners find it’s the ‘off season’ and there is only a skeleton staff. Plus, there is a massive storm rolling in. And can you guess what happens? Yep, the Fisherman is on the island and starts killing staff and guests alike. While toying with Julie. While all this is going on Ray, who had been attacked earlier, is on a mission to get to the remote island to save Julie.
This movie could have been a worthy sequel. All the elements were there. But it just isn’t. It’s visually well-polished, but the story and the characters, especially the recurring ones, are underdeveloped. And the kills, for this slasher film, are pedestrian at best. The over complicated set up from the killers is just a tragic misstep. But there is a cool supporting cast of Jennifer Esposito, Jack Black, Bill Cobbs, John Hawkes and the great Jeffery Combs. Pretty, but hollow.
I’ll Always Know What You Did Last Summer (2006)
With the lacklustre release of the second film, many hoped the series was done. But in 2006, this straight-to-video sequel, hit DVD. Directed by Sylvain White (Stomp the Yard and The Losers) and written by Micheal D. Weiss, this tale has nothing to do with the characters from the first two films, apart from references. The Fisherman is now relegated to an urban legend like figure.
In the fictional town of Broken Ridge, Amber (Brooke Nevin), her boyfriend Colby (David Paetkau), Zoe (Torrey DeVitto), Rodger (Seth Packard) and PJ (Clayton Taylor) decide to pull a prank at the town 4th of July carnival. Roger dresses up as the Fisherman and ‘attacks’ the small group of friends. The end result, the stunt goes bad when PJ ends up impaled on a tractor. The friends get rid of the evidence and vow never to speak of it again. And just like the story they have all read about, a year later, the hook welding Fisherman shows up. At first taunting, then property damage, then one by one killing off those responsible for PJ’s death and whoever gets in the way. With the help of PJs cousin Lance (Ben Easter), who also knows the secret, the small group of friends try to survive and stop the legend.
There are some decent gore effects, but most of the kills are pedestrian, with many being obscured by choppy editing. It’s padded out with overly long establishing shots, lingering scenes and a washed-out colour pallet. The film feels like an early 2000s music video in some place and a teen TV melodrama in others. There is no consistency to any of it. Including the actor’s performances and except for Torrey DeVitto, they all look lost.
Spoiler Warning: There was also the decision to make the killer supernatural in this entry. Yep, you read that right. The Fisherman here is the long dead Fisherman from the other entries, resurrected by the action of these teens. If this was a Friday the 13th Part VI style resurrection to keep the franchise going, they failed. I don’t say this often, but this movie seriously insults its audience’s intelligence.
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Lost in the 90s – Warrior Women Edition.
While big studios where um-ing and ah-ing about strong female characters leading a major film (because studios heads where and remain out of touch) the smaller studios and independent producers where still trying anything and everything they could to make an impact. Most of the time, that was in the lucrative Straight-to-video market. Here the inventiveness and oddball production that defined the 80s still thrived. And it is here, that strong female leads in genre cinema (action, horror & sci-fi) got a chance to shine. Here are ten women kicking ass flicks from the 90s I love.
Black Scorpion (1995)
What happens when dark and gritty comic book movies in the 90s like Batman Returns and The Crow become popular. Well, if you’re schlock maestro Roger Corman, you make your own version. And Corman being Corman, he amped up the exploitation nature of the offering with some serious talent behind the scenes. And yes, I know it was originally aired on American cable TV. But everywhere else in the world it was a direct-to-video title.
This pulpy tale starts with a single father and cop Lt. Walker (Rick Rossovich) telling his daughter a bedtime story about the scorpion and the frog before leaving on a call. After a car chase, he captures the criminals and accompanies them to the hospital. When there, one of the criminals steals a security officer’s gun, and in the ensuing firefight, Dr. Goodard (Casey Siemaszko) is killed. Lt. Walker loses his job.
Darcy Walker (Joan Severance) all grown up is now a cop working undercover, along with her old school partner Michael Russo (Bruce Abbott). When her father is killed on her birthday by the District Attorney who later has no memory of it, Darcy then goes to the jail and assaults the DA. As a result, she’s fired. So, what is a strong, intelligent and capable woman to do? Become a vigilante, of course.
Darcy creates a costume, and heads out to the streets and kicks major ass. The Black Scorpion is born. And with the help of mechanic and tech genius Argyle (Garrett Morris), she wages a battle against the supervillain called the Breath Taker.
There are many of the things you would expect: elements of camp, exaggerated characters, unrealistic settings and situations, moody lighting, and a little T&A. So, you know, a comic book. This movie may not be the best superhero origin story, but it’s stylish, well directed and well-acted. The fight sequences are not the best, even for the time, but Severance throws herself into the action. Severance, Abbott and Morris shine in the darkness here. And the music by Kevin Kiner is amazing, and seems too good for the film. He has recently done music for many of the Star Wars animated series. This film spawned a sequel and a TV series.
Black Scorpion 2: Aftershock (1997)
When you have an inexpensive hit on your hands, do what Roger Corman does, make a sequel. Two years after the original film, the sequel once again was first broadcast on U.S. cable TV before hitting the direct-to-video market world-wide. And it is more of the same.
Moody atmosphere, soft-core T&A, sexual innuendo, clichéd characters, crazy situations and a dash of humour. And the action is better, but is presented more in line with the Batman TV series of the 60s.Joan Severance returns as the titular heroine Black Scorpion and her Detective Darcy Walker alter ego. Also returning is Garritt Morris’ Argyle filling in the Q/Alfred role, and Stephen Lee as Captain Strickland who is my favourite character in these films. The writer and director both return from the first film, as does the composer.
This time the Black Scorpion is up against a corrupt mayor, a Joker knock-off called the Gangsta Prankster, and the supervillain that cuts as much of an attractive figure as BS herself, Aftershock.
After putting Gangsta Prankster behind bars, Darcy is once again dealing with sexist cops, and pining over her partner. This time it’s her new partner Rick (Whip Hubley). On the other side of town Dr Undershaft (Sherrie Rose) has developed a machine that can cancel out Earthquakes. The mayor, fearing there won’t be any more city contract money to steal, sabotages her machine. The good doctor is thought dead. That is until she is reborn as the quake causing Aftershock, wearing a costume that seems to be from American Gladiators. She frees Gangsta Prankster and they team up to destroy the city. Darcy, wondering who she is without BS, tries to stop them on her own. But suits up as kicks ass. This time with a more impressive body count.
Like the first film, it’s a campy, sexy, exploitation film. And it knows it. It’s not going to win any awards, but it doesn’t have to. In the realm of B grade schlock, this female superhero movie series is a bit of an icon. Because despite the cheesiness, these movies do have a message. There was also a short-lived TV series. But Severance was replaced with Michelle Lintel. So, I didn’t care.
The Demolitionist (1995)
The Demolitionist is a 1995 superhero sci-fi film with kick ass action, awesome characters, and a take no prisoners female protagonist. And it’s the directorial debut of special effects maestro Robert Kurtzman. Kurtzman has worked on films like Phantasm 2, Evil Dead 2, Re-Animator 2, In The Mouth of Madness, From Dusk Til Dawn, The Faculty, Thir13en Ghost, Bubba Ho-Tep and The Green Mile. So, he knows his stuff. And like Stan Winston with directorial debut Pumpkinhead, he helped conceive the story as well as direct.
In the near future a controversial law banning the owning and carrying of firearms in the city (What city? I have no idea) and any crime involving guns has extreme punishment. Two outlaw brothers prosecuted under this law share a cell on death row, Mad Dog and Little Henry Burne (Richard Grieco and Randy Vasques). On the day of execution, they are rescued by one of their gang members Roland (Tom Savini). But Little Henry dies because he is an idiot.
Back in the city, and amongst his gang, he cleans house and discovers an undercover cop in their rank, Alyssa Lloyd (Nicole Eggert). Alyssa and her surveillance man are killed, but she is revived by Professor Jack Crowley (Bruce Abbott) and his Lazarus Program, a law enforcement initiative approved by Mayor Eleanor Grimbaum (Susan Tyrrell).
Alyssa now has enhanced strength and reflexes, improved hand eye coordination, and her body can heal all damage done to it quickly thanks to regular injections of nanobots. The nanobots are what keep Alyssa alive, without them she will literally fall apart. But when the nanobots are injected into live tissue, they destroy it. I wonder if that will come up again in the climax?
Basically, Alyssa is Wolverine meets Robocop. She also has a tricked out with a high-tech motorcycle, body armour and some of the best guns in cinema. So, this dark and gritty superhero, later dubbed The Demolitionist, goes out to clean up the streets and get revenge on Mad Dog for killing her. And she doesn’t fuck around either.
But, the police chief (Peter Jason) is working with Mad Dog. Not only did he help bust him out of a death sentence, but he is supplying Mad Dog with a truck load of impressive weaponry. Partly to maintain power, and partly to kill our hero. This increases the carnage and property damage. But when the police chief leaks footage of The Demolitionist leaving a little girl, who was a hostage in a bank raid, holding grenades so she could go after Mad Dog, the public and the Mayor turn against our hero and project Lazarus is shut down. Now Aylssa is running out of time and there are still assholes to kill.
An interesting element to this character of Aylssa/The Demolitionist, is she hates what she has become, seeing herself as a monster to Crowley’s Dr Frankenstein. She mourns her lost humanity, and wishes to be alive again or dead for real. But her sense of duty and revenge spur her on. And she battles with her emotional state, as intense emotions compromise the nano solution, which causes her to make mistakes. She is a tortured character that is more than just a silhouette brooding in the shadows. Nicole Eggert plays the part well and emotes like a scared and scarred human would, and throws herself into the action to revive many other male action stars of the time. Not bad for an actress who was, at the time, most known for her TV roles in Charles in Charge and Baywatch. A few more roles like this and her career would have been very different indeed.
While the vehicle chase scenes and the gun play were presented well, much like Black Scorpion the same year, more time should have been given to the fight choreography, as it is a little week. Well, this was a smaller budgeted direct-to-video film, so I can’t rag on it for that. Just think if something like this was made today for a streaming service, it would be off the charts with the spectacle with as much money as possible on screen. But it probably wouldn’t be as charming or as memorable as this strange and charming flick.
The cast for this is pretty amazing, if you are a horror and sci-fi nerd like me. Eggert should have become an action heroine like Milla Jovovich after this, she just rocks. Abbott, from cult classics like Re-Animator gets to play his own version of the driven scientist here, and it’s a cool little nod to his most famous horror outing. But Grieco is off the charts. His performance is so out there, it’s like someone mixed the crazy of Nic Cage, with some Bruce Campbell, and Jeremy Irons from the first D&D movie. I mean, HOLY SHIT! The other cast members do their jobs, but it’s the smaller parts and the cameos that seem to get people’s attention. Scream Queen Heather Langenkamp plays a reporter, Sara Douglas is a surgeon that tried to save Aylssa’s life, plus cameos from Jack Nance, Joseph Pilato, Reggie Bannister, Derek Mears, Dan Hicks, Greg Nicotero and the chin himself Burce Campbell. Talk about loading the deck.
Is it a perfect flick? Fuck No. A lost classic? Depends. For me it is. There is so much passion and creativity on show here, it’s hard not to like despite its flaws. Which is something I have been saying a lot concerning all these Direct-to-video titles. But it’s true. With more time and money, The Demolitionist could have been one of those cult classics that gets discussed by film theorists and academics. But as it stands, it is a kick-ass action sci-fi flick that always leaves a smile on my face and wishing there was at least a comic book follow up to this.
Lady Dragon (1990)
Cynitha Rothrock was a Martial Arts champion in Forms and Weapons from 1981 – 1985. She hit the world of action films in the Hong Kong film industry in the mid-80s with films like Yes, Madam! (1985), Millionaires Express (1986) and The Inspector Wears Skirts (1988). And she became so popular, she became one of the few regular western actors in Hong Kong to be cast as a hero. Then Hollywood came calling and in the 90s she made 29 films.
Lady Dragon was released in 1992. Rothrock is Kathy Galagher, a grieving widow with some serious martial arts skills, who is out for revenge after an evil crime lord, Ludwig Hauptman (Richard Norton) killed her CIA agent husband. We first see her in an underground fight where she is making some extra money and making contacts to achieve her goal. And she is seen by her husband’s old friend and CIA partner Gibson (Rober Ginty). Gibson advises her not to seek Ludwig out. She ignores him.
After a fight in a bar where she is pretending to be a prostitute, she is severely beaten and raped by Ludwig and left for dead. She is found by a young boy and his grandfather who nurse her back to health, and guide her. Healing her pain, joining body and spirit, so she can complete her task. She uses her intelligence and skill to get into Ludwig’s organisation and take it down. With a pretty damn impressive final fight scene showing what both Rothrock and Norton can do. Stock standard action movie stuff.
There are better Rothrock films out there from this period, but I always think of this one, because of the heroine’s motivations. In many female lead action films, it’s the trauma caused to them that sends them off on the path of revenge. Here the heroine has the same motivation as a male action hero, the bad guy killed someone they loved. What is done to the character of Kathy throughout the film means nothing compared to the first loss. Always found that refreshing.
It is a good-looking film, the fight scenes are damn cool, even with a weak story. Norton relishes being the villain. But it’s Rothrock’s show.
Demonic Toys (1992)
Charles Band has made a career out of producing horror or horror comedy films featuring tiny terrors attacking humans. Dolls, Ghoulies, the Puppet Master series. You get the idea.
Demonic Toys is a direct-to-video horror comedy from Band’s Full Moon Features that hit video store shelves in 1992. Judith Gray (Tracy Scoggins) and Matt Cable (Jeff Celentano) are two police officers, who are also dating, engaged in a sting operation to buy illegal guns from gun runners Lincoln and Hesse (Michael Russo & Barry Lynch). When things go sideways, Matt is killed and Judith pursues the perps, wounding one in the chase.
At a warehouse storing overstocked toys, a security guard Charnetski (Pete Schrum) calls the local fried chicken restaurant and orders his usual delivery, unbeknownst to him that Judith has chased the gun runner into the warehouse. Mark (Bentley Mitchum) delivers Charnetski’s food and hangs out drinking beer and talking trash.
Under the floor of the warehouse, a demon lies sleeping. Hesse (the wounded bad guy) just happens to die on that very spot. Demon wakes, possesses the toys who attack the people in the warehouse. And they, along with a homeless girl Anne (Ellen Dunning) who has been sleeping in the warehouse, must fight off the hungry cute little terrors and try and stop the demon from possessing Judith’s unborn baby.
This movie is nuts, but, like a lot of Band’s films, there is a charm and creativity to this film. They lean into comedy. The possessed toys are grotesque in a cute way, especially Baby Oopsy, a foul mouth killer baby doll. All the toys were designed by John Carl Buechler.
Scoggins’ Judith Gray starts out as a tough and capable cop. Even after the death of Matt, she still gets the bad guys, and when everything hits the fan, is the force pulling everyone together. But she ends up being a damsel in distress by the end of the film, and that kinda pissed me off. She could have been a direct-to-video Ellen Ripley. Instead, a strong female character became a stereotype. Scoggins did reprise her role in Dollman Vs The Demonic Toys, and her character fared much better.
Silly, gory fun. Definitely not scary. But a perfect party movie.
Dark Angel: The Ascent (1994)
Dark Angel is a horror themed romantic fantasy film from director Linda Hassani and writer Matthew Bright, and released through Full Moon Features.
It opens in hell, with sequences that are effective as they are disturbing. In the department of hell that deals with punishing landlords and bankers, Veronica (Angela Featherstone) is listening to her boss who is not happy with her curious nature and sharing her dreams of the human world above. Her friend Mary (Christina Stoica) shows Veronica a rift between hell and the mortal world and retain your own body without the need for demon possession.
After arguing with her parents at dinner, Veronica’s mother Theresa (Charlotte Stewart) holds her father back from killing her (it is hell people). She runs straight to the rift, and along with her trusty German Shepard Hellraiser, enter the human world. Coming up through the sewer onto a city street in her own skin, all her demonic markings (including her horns and wings) and clothes disappear, leaving her looking like a normal naked human woman. She moves through the gaggle of onlookers in an almost music video dreamlike sequence. Soon after finding a coat to cover the nakedness, she looks up and sees a handsome doctor looking down from a window of a hospital, and is promptly hit by a car.
The doctor Max Barris (Daniel Marbel) heals her injuries, and takes her home with him to stay, as she has nowhere else, accompanied by Hellraiser. Max is Veronica’s guide to the new world. They become close over time and slowly fall for each other. But Veronica, seeing evil in the world, brutally kills evildoers at night. There is an investigation. And she sets her sights on the evil major.
The visuals and effects are handled really well for such a small budget. Even though there is a demon killing bad guys, there are some truly beautiful and heartfelt moments in this film, which is a more dramatic film than you would expect. Like Veronica slowing her true self to Max after sexy times. Featherstone is captivating as Veronica in her first starring role. It is a very unique story, equally sweet and odd. With a vigilante demon as our hero.
Knights (1993)
Knights is a sci-fi action adventure, from writer/director, and cult favourite, Albert Pyun.
In a post-apocalyptic future Earth, Cyborgs have taken control and rule over the remaining human population, led by the evil Job (Lance Henriksen). After the ‘Maker’ died, the cyborgs adapted their systems to run in a new fuel source, human blood. Not entirely sure why they didn’t go with solar power, but I’m not the screenwriter. So, to restock their supply, the cyborgs and their human army raid villages across the wasteland.
In one of these raids, Nea (Katy Long) fights back against the attackers, killing or capturing her friends. This defiance gets the attention of the party’s leader Simon (Scott Paulin) who decides to have some fun with the spirited human. Nea does injure Simon but she is no match for him. She is saved by the renegade cyborg Gabriel (Kris Kristofferson). Yes, you read that correctly. Gabriel was the last cyborg built by the maker with the mission to eliminate all the previous cyborgs.
With her village gone, she sticks close to Gabriel, who reluctantly teaches her martial arts and how to best dispatch the mechanical monstrosities. Together they journey to take out Job and his followers. But when Gabriel is blown in half in a fight with Job’s men, Nea must carry one alone and use her new found skills to kick some cyborg ass. And save the humans. The low-hi nature of the production adds a little charm. The slapped together cyborg SPFX works because the characters are constantly rebuilding and modifying themselves with what is at hand.
This film marks the Hollywood debut of kickboxing champion Kathy Long, and while she didn’t make many films, she is damn good in them, and it’s her show. Long is naturalistic in front of the camera, emotes well and handles the action and fight sequences expertly. She oozes more charisma than her male big budget counterparts. I, for one, wanted more of this amazing star. Props to the other actors. Kristofferson does a good job, and Gary Daniels as one of the cyborgs, and there is even a cameo from Dollman himself, Tim Thomerson. An ass kicking gem with a female protagonist that deserves more attention.
Nemesis 2: Nebula (1995)
Nemesis 2 is the action sci-fi sequel to the straight to video cult classic. The late great Albert Pyun returns as director, and was written by Pyun and Rebecca Charles.
By 2077, most of the human resistance are dead having lost the ‘Cyborg Wars’ and cyborgs have taken control of the planet and enslaved humanity. Rebel scientists have done the impossible in developing a new DNA strand which could signal the end of the cyborgs. With it the humans could create a mutant human with enhanced speed, strength, endurance and intelligence enough to kill the cyborgs. All the scientists need is a female volunteer to be impregnated. Which they find. When cyborgs attack, she flees to a hidden time ship and escapes to East Africa in 1980, in the middle of a civil war. Mum is killed defending her miracle baby, named Alex. Before the murderers can kill the baby, she is saved by local tribesmen. Alex is raised by them and 18 years later, Alex (now played by bodybuilder champion Sue Price) takes the warrior trials with the tribe. And some don’t think she is worthy because she is a woman, white, and a ‘muscled freak’. But she proves the naysayers wrong. She is now a warrior.
After being shown the time ship she arrived in, the cyborg bounty hunter Nebula zeros in on her and arrives to mess things up. It destroys her village and forces her on the run through rebel territory. She cuts a path through the bad guys in glorious fashion to get to a safe place. But, in the end, it’s a showdown between DNA superwoman and cyborg killing machine.
This is Sue Price’s first film. And I think she carries herself well. Like some of her 80s male counterparts, she was not a professional actor. But, a stoic hero in an action film doesn’t really need to be. She looks and acts the part, handles the action and fights scenes well, and runs better than Tom Cruise in the M:I franchise. Price appeared in all the Nemesis sequels, and it’s the reason I continued to watch them. The quality of the series falters but Price gets better. I wish she did more.
No Contest (1995)
No Contest is an action thriller from director Paul Lynch and writer Robert C. Cooper, and has an impressive all-star cast for this kind of movie. And what kind of movie is it? Well, it’s a ‘Die Hard’ clone, sometimes called a knock off.
The Miss Galaxy beauty pageant is being held at a new, yet unopened, high-rise hotel. One of the contestants is Candice Wilson (Polly Shannon), the daughter of the rich and corrupt Senator Donald Wilson (the great John Colicos). She is being looked after by ex-federal agent Crane (Robert Davi). While on duty, he strikes up a friendship with the pageant’s host Sharon Bell (Shannon Tweed), herself an ex-Miss Galaxy winner and now a kickboxing actress in action films. When Sharon says she will look after Candice while Crane has a smoke break, he is outside the building when terrorists storm and lock down the building. The terrorist, led by Oz (Andrew Dice Clay) and his unstable number two Ice (Roddy Piper) take over the pageant at the point of a gun and kill the winner on live TV. The six remaining women on stage, including Sharon and Cadice, are taken hostage. OZ wants a ransom of millions of dollars in diamonds from Senator Wilson and has wired the hostages and the building with explosives to ensure it. But all doesn’t go to plan. When Sharon escapes her captors, she fights to free the other girls and kill ALL the bastards.
The cast here raises it above the usual knock-off. Clay is excellent as the main villain and is almost too good for the movie. Piper is delightfully unsettling. Both are standouts. It’s a shame Davi isn’t given much to do. But this is Shannon Tweed’s movie. Best known for her Playboy spreads, TV soap operas and erotic thrillers, Tweed also branched out into comedies, animation and action films like this one and its sequel. I always thought she was a good actress, fearless, and probably deserved a bigger career. Here she handles herself awesomely. She does the best with a weak script. Her character is likeable, a mix of tough as nails and vulnerable and she kicks major ass in the action scenes. A gem with flaws.
Retroactive (1997)
The sci-fi action film comes from director Louis Morneau, who in 1999 made the entertaining creature feature Bats.
Our hero is Karen Warren (Kylie Travis), a former criminal psychologist, who is driving down a lonely Texas road when her car breaks down. She hitches a ride from hot head Frank Lloyd (Jim Belushi) and his abused wife Rayanne (Shannon Whirry). Frank gets pulled over for speeding which starts the tension heating up. Frank is on his way to sell stolen military grade computer chips (whatever they are).
Stopping at a gas station run by Frank’s friend Sam (M. Emmet Walsh) for refreshments, Sam gives Frank proof that Rayanne is cheating on him with the local tow truck driver. Really, who can blame her. Tow Truck boy is miles ahead of low life Frank. Later, Frank shoots Rayanne and attempts to do the same to Karen. You can’t have witnesses to cold blooded murder, after all. Karen escapes into the desert and stumbles on the laboratory of Brian (Frank Whaley), a scientist testing out a time machine on mice. With Frank not too far behind, Brian takes her in only for the machine to go off accidentally sending Karen back in time 20 minutes, shortly after Frank picked her up.
Karen tries to fix things over and over again, as she keeps getting sent back in time. And they keep getting worse. I won’t give too much more away without spoiling the film, but there is a lot of thrilling action and the climax is as clever as it is satisfying.
This straight-to- video gem is damn exciting. There are no outlandish special effects, just a great story, slick direction, solid production, and excellent performances from the cast. Seeing Belushi go full on insane predator, turning his nice guy persona on its head, is chilling. But this is Kylie Travis’ show and she dominates, showing the vulnerability and steel of the troubled character. It’s a shame Travis no longer acts. This awesome little flick is a well-made, above average and inventive thriller. Since it is available to watch for free on YouTube, and only running at 90 minutes, it will cost you nothing to check it out and give this movie a little love.
Action Movie, Albert Pyun, Angela Featherstone, Black Scorpion 1995, Cult Cinema, Cynthia Rothrock, Dark Angel: The Ascent 1994, Demonic Toys 1992, Exploitation Cinema, Fantasy, Full Moon, Horror, Joan Severance, Knights 1993, Kylie Travis, Lady Dragon 1990, Movie Reviews, Nemesis2: Nebula 1995, Nicole Eggert, No Contest 1995, Retroactive 1997, Robert Kurtzman, Roger Corman, Sci-Fi, Shannon Tweed, The Demolitionist 1995, Tracy Scoggins -
Re-Watch – Things are Getting Hairy: A Brief Look at Werewolves on Film.
I love werewolves in fiction. There are so many great stories I have read and watched over the years. And while they have not been as popular or as reinvented as vampires or Frankenstein’s monster, I have always had a soft spot of the lycanthropes. So, I had a look at some notable entries in the Werewolf in cinema. And for those who notice I left out the Ginger Snaps films, I’m saving those for Halloween with a little extra commentary. So, let howl at the moon and avoid everything silver.
Werewolf of London (1935)
Werewolf of London is a 1935 horror film directed by Stuart Walker, and released by Universal Pictures, the studio responsible for the huge horror hits Dracula, Frankenstein and The Mummy just a few years earlier.
This film tells the story of Wilfred Glendon (Henry Hull), a wealthy and world-renowned English botanist who becomes infected with the curse of the full moon during a research expedition of Tibet to acquire the specimen of Mariphasa, a rare plant that only blooms in moonlight. On the expedition he is attacked and bitten by a werewolf, we later find out is fellow botanist Dr. Yogami (Warner Oland) who is searching for the plant, as it offers a temporary cure for ‘werewolf-ism’.
Dr Yogami follows Glendon back to London where he warns him of the curse both men share, that if your plant is not turned into the antidote, Glendon will transform into a werewolf and be drawn to kill the very thing he loves the most. Which in this case is his wife Lisa (Valerie Hobson). Of course, Glendon does listen at first and people start dying. Also in the mix are Paul Ames (Lester Matthews) an old friend of Lisa’s who is in love with her, and Colonel Sir Thomas Forsythe (Lawerance Grant) the chief of Scotland Yard, who are both on the trail of the killer.
This movie has not aged as well as other Universal Monster films. The dialogue and attitudes of the English characters seem more in line with an English drawing room drama than a horror film. Everything is stiff and proper, with classiest, sexist and racist attitudes on full display. As are the comic representations of the lower-class characters personified in Mrs. Moncaster and Mrs. Whack (Zeffie Tilbury & Ethel Griffies).
The black and white photography is wonderful, as is the music. The design of the werewolf is great, designed by the great Jack Pierce, and looks like Elvis and a Klingon had a kid. The look of which were influences on Eddie Munster, Jack Nicholson ‘s Wolf and the tv series Penny Dreadful. But the story is more Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde than a lycanthrope on the loose. Universal would do the werewolf better six years later.
The Wolf Man (1941)
Even a man who is pure in heart, and says his prayers by night;
May become a wolf when the wolfbane blooms and the Autumn moon is bright.
The Wolf Man was directed by George Waggner and written by Curt Siodmak, and released in 1941, it quickly became a classic in Universals Monster line-up alongside Dracula, Frankenstein’s Monster and The Mummy.
Larry Talbot (Lon Chaney Jr.), who has been living in America for most of his life, returns to his ancestral home in Llanwelly, Wales, to bury his recently deceased brother and reconcile with his estranged father Sir John Talbot (Claude Rains). While there he falls in love with a local girl, Gwen Conliffe (Evelyn Ankers), who runs an antique shop, despite her being engaged.
Larry, Gwen, and Gwen’s friend Jenny meet up one night to get their fortunes told in a nearby Gypsy camp. The fortune teller Bela (Bela Lugosi) sees a pentagram in Jenny’s palm and frantically sends the trio away. Jenny is later attacked by a wolf and hearing the screams, Larry attempts to rescue her by killing the wolf with a silver tipped cane. But it’s too late. Jenny is dead and Larry has been bitten.
Bela’s mother Maleva (Maria Ouspenskaya) tells Larry that now he will become a werewolf. And after he transforms and kills a village, Larry’s life falls apart. He is sickened and distraught over the actions of which he cannot remember. He tells his father what has happened. But the hunting party is now out for blood, fearing the outsider. The ending is powerful and soul crushingly sad.
This film is a great example of the tragic hero. This is a Greek tragedy in the twentieth century, a good man cursed by fate to be a monster. And Lon Chaney Jr perfectly conveys the sadness and anguish of the character. This and his physicality is the reason no other actor played the Wolf Man for Universal in the 5 films the character appeared in.
Siodmak’s story has become the basis for all werewolf mythos moving forward, much like what Bram Stoker did for the vampire, and Jack pierce’s make-up is iconic and has influenced many werewolf designs hereafter. A classic that deserves to be seen.
The Curse of The Werewolf (1961)
After Dracula, Frankenstein, and The Mummy, it was only a matter of time before they turned their sights on the Werewolf. The Curse of the Werewolf is a horror film from Hammer Studios directed by Terence Fisher and written by John Elder and based on Guy Endore’s Werewolf of Paris, and features the first lead role for Oliver Reed.
In Spain in the 18th century, a beggar is humiliated and then imprisoned by a cruel marqués on the marqués’ wedding day, and then promptly forgotten about. The only people the beggar sees are the jailer and his mute daughter. Years later, the jailer is dead and his daughter (Yvonne Romain, credited as Servant Girl) is now working in the main part of the castle. The marqués, now old and decrepit, attack her, she fights back. As punishment she is locked in the same cell as the old beggar. She is attacked and raped by the beggar, who has become feral from years of imprisonment. When the girl is released, she kills the marqués and flees into the night. She is rescued and is nursed back to health by Don Alfredo Corledo and his housekeeper Teresa (Clifford Evans & Hira Talfrey). The poor girl gives birth and dies. But the boy is born on the 25th of December, and babies who are born on this day are said to be cursed.
And cursed he is. Raised by Alfredo, Leon (Reed) , now a man, leaves home and starts working at the Gomez vineyard. It’s revealed that he and the boss’s daughter Cristina (Catherine Feller) are in love, and he has begun turning into a werewolf. Deaths happen in the town. He finds out too late that Cristina’s presence stops his transformation. The end is a tragic one.
This, like The Wolf Man, seems to be a modern Greek tragedy, although a period piece. Reed is amazing in the role of the torture Leon. The production, like all Hammer films, looks amazing. The story tries to tell too much over too long a time period, and suffers for it. If the focus was narrowed to focus more on the adult Leon, it would have been fantastic. Hammer’s only werewolf film.
An American Werewolf in London (1981)
An American Werewolf in London is a 1981 horror comedy from writer director John Landis that not only became a huge hit upon release, but also a cult classic of horror cinema.
Two American backpackers David Kessler and Jack Goodman (David Naughton & Griffin Dunne) are traveling and find themselves in Yorkshire. After being warned by the patrons of the pub, the Slaughtered Lamb, to stay off the moors, Of course, they don’t and as they head off over the moors, they are attacked by a giant wolf. David is bitten and Jack is killed. Townsfolk turn up and kill the wolf and before David blacks out, he sees a dead naked man next to him, shot to death.
Three weeks later David wakes up in a hospital in London being cared for by Dr Hirsh (John Woodvine) and nurse Alex Price (Jenny Agutter). Alex and David become friends. While in hospital, David is having vivid nightmares and at breakfast he is visited by the undead ghost of Jack, looking all torn up. Jack informs David that they were attacked by a werewolf, and David now has the curse and for either of them to have any peace, David has to kill himself. But David just thinks he is going crazy from trauma.
Upon being discharged from hospital and having nowhere to go, David moves in with Alex, and the two start an affair. But Jack won’t leave him alone. On the full moon, David transforms into the devil wolf and six people turn up dead the next day. Alex, Dr Hirsh and Scotland Yard all try to find out what is going on, and hopefully save David. Another Greek tragedy Werewolf story.
This film is iconic in, not just horror film, but film in general. It mixes two different tones perfectly and is filled with great performances. Elmer Bernstein’s score is outstanding, and the soundtrack filled with ‘moon’ themed songs is as clever as it is a joy to listen to. It also features great make-up and creature effects, and one of the most shocking and amazing transformation sequences ever put to film from Rick Baker (who won the first ever Oscar for make-up effect for this film). Required viewing for anyone alive.
The Howling (1981)
I love this smaller independent horror flick. Directed by Joe Dante, who has built a career blending genuine scares with a quirky sense of humour, and written by John Sayles, giving this werewolf movie a self-aware satirical tone, kicks serious lycanthropic ass. And also pokes fun at self-help groups.
Karen White (Dee Wallace) is a newscaster who is being stalked by a serial killer named Eddie Quist (Rober Picardo). She agrees to a police sting to capture him and with the police monitoring, she meets Eddie in a porn theatre. Once inside, Eddie makes her watch a porn film of a brutalised woman before allowing her to turn around. What she sees terrifies her, and she screams. Just as the police charge in, guns blazing. Eddie is shot and presumed dead. Karen stuffers amnesia over the trauma. Her therapist, Dr George Wagner (Patrick Macnee) sends her to attend The Colony, a secluded resort retreat where he sends people for treatment.
Here the film follows two different stories. Karen and her wife Bill (Christopher Stone) at The Colony, meeting many strange characters including a sultry sex-obsessed woman named Marsha (Elizabeth Brooks) who has her sights set on Bill. But something odd is happening at the retreat Karen is freaked out about. The other is Karen’s journalism colleagues Terry Fisher and Chris Halloran (Belinda Balaski & Dennis Dugan) investigating Eddie Quist for an in-depth profile on the killer. We cut back and forth between the two until they eventually merge in a fun and frightening way. Because, werewolves. The Colony is a safe haven for werewolves, who use it as a way to recruit. But there is decent brewing.
The humour and the meta nature of the story isn’t the only thing about this film people remember. It is filled with great character actors: Kevin McCarthy. John Carradine, Slim Pickens, Noble Willingham, Kenneth Tobey and the late great Dick Miller. It also features creature and transformation effects from Rob Bottin that, for this film geek, are far better than An American Werewolf in London. Pino Donaggio is very old Hollywood and fits like a human skin suit. The film features a tense standoff climax and the final shots are reminiscent of Invasion of the Body Snatchers.
The Company of Wolves (1984)
The Company of Wolves is a 1984 horror fantasy film from director Niel Jordan who co-written by Jordan and Angela Carter based on her short story. The central story is that of Rosaleen (Sarah Paterson) who lives in a quaint little village. After the death of her older sister after a wolf attack, Rosaleen starts spending time with her Granny (Angela Lansbury). Granny starts telling her young charge tales that range from ‘Old Wives’, ‘Folk’, and ‘Cautionary’ all revolving around wolves and the supernatural.
We see the stories played out, and in this way part of the film is like an anthology film, with the main story acting as the wrap around. There is the tale of a married couple with the man, as Granny puts it is ‘a man who’s hairy on the inside’. There is a story of a younger man who makes a disastrous deal with the devil, played by Terrance Stamp with wicked charm. Also, a lyrical story of a wounded She-Wolf.
But when Rosaleen meets a Huntsman (Micha Bergese) in the woods, and the fearless interactions with this friend/stranger, the story becomes a darker retelling of Little Red Riding Hood. Both Rosaleen and the Huntsman race to Granny’s house where the film’s climax takes place is shocking, beautiful and bitter sweet like smooth dark chocolate.
The film has a cast of amazingly talented British character actors. The late David Warner plays Rosaleen’s father and Tusse Silberg her mother, and Graham Crowden as the old priest. Stephen Rea, a constant Jordan collaborator, also appears as the cursed husband.
The film features two very different werewolf transformations. One is very ‘staged’ and puppet-like, which fits the theatrical nature of the tale, and the other is a very unique transformation of the Huntsman into a large wolf. It is overshadowed by transformations in other films, but is iconic nevertheless.
The dream and surreal imagery used to tell the story, adds to the otherworldly fairytale presented. The camerawork and production design, along with George Fenton’s score, make this a haunting film. But in a good way. I always thought of this film like hugging your nightmares. It’s dark and disturbing, but somehow warm and comforting. A pure treasure.
Teen Wolf (1985)
Teen Wolf is a 1985 coming-of-age comedy, with a supernatural element, directed by Rod Daniel, written by Jeph Loeb and Matthew Weisman, and starring Michael J Fox at the height of his stardom.
Scott Howard (Fox) is a high-school student tired of being average in a small Nebraska town. He is mostly unnoticed by the school’s population at large, he plays on the school’s tragic basketball team, and works in his father Harold’s (James Hampton) hardware store. His best friend Boof (Susan Ursitti) has a major crush on Scott, which he is oblivious too. And he gets into mischief with his buddies Stiles and Lewis (Jerry Levine & Matt Adler), all the while pining away for the school hottie Pamela (Lorie Griffin).
Even With a little added schtick, sounds like this could be a classic John Hughes teen comic drama, doesn’t it? It could very well be, except for one very important selling point. Scott finds out he is a werewolf, from a long line of werewolves, after he unexpectedly transforms one night after a party. When his father demands he open the bathroom door after hearing weird noises, he does, only to find the grey werewolf of his dad who gives him the rundown.
After an altercation on the basketball court, Scott transforms. Everybody is freaked, but he keeps playing. Soon, the team and the school at large are into it. And they start winning. Scott is suddenly popular because of the wolf, even as friends and loved ones start to pull away. Scott must decide who he really wants to be, and who he wants. Oh, and they kick ass at the basketball game at the end without the wolf.
The supporting cast also includes James MacKrell, Mark Arnold, Jay Tarses, Mark Holton and Scott Paulin. They all do a good job. But it is Fox’s show and he owes it. Even if Levine’s Stiles steals the show here and there.
The transformation effects are understated and effective, and the wolf design is similar to the wolf man mixed with a little 70s hippie. Miles Goodman’s score is fantastic, walking the fine line between the comedic, dramatic and horror elements of the story masterfully. Loved it as a kid. Still holds up.
Wolf (1994)
Wolf is a 90s werewolf dramatic horror film directed by Mike Nichols and written by Jim Harrison and Wesley Strick. It is a very different take on the werewolf mythos.
Will Randell (Jack Nicholson), editor-in-chief at a popular publishing house, is bitten by a large black wolf after is accidently hitting it with his car driving through Vermont. With the take over of the publishers by tycoon Raymond Alden (Christopher Plummer), Will is forced out and replaced with his protégé Stewart (a slimy James Spader), who is having an affair with Will’s wife Charlotte (Kate Nelligan). With the stress over the whole business, Will starts taking on the characteristics of the wolf, slowly becoming more aggressive and cunning. AS well as increase strength, sense of smell, hearing and taste.
Will’s life is renewed, and with the help of Alden’s headstrong daughter Laura (Michelle Pfeiffer), he starts a relationship with. But the wolf inside has other ideas, and comes out at night. Will visits Dr Vijav Alezais (Om Puri), an expert on the supernatural who tells Will that he will transform into the devil wolf. But the wolf is not necessarily evil. It can be a gift. Good man can’t do purposefully evil things as the wolf. Alezais gives him an amulet to protect him. But when Charlotte turns up dead after Will and her argue, homicide detective Bridger (Richard Jenkins) investigates him. But Stewart is turning into the wolf too after Will bit him after finding him with his wife. And it becomes a hairy showdown with Stewart wanting to destroy everything Will has and Will defending the woman he has grown to love.
Mike Nichols (The Graduate, The Birdcage) isn’t the first person you would expect to direct a horror film like this. But he does a masterful job with the material. Giuseppe Rotunno’s camera and Sam O’Steen on editing duties, create a decently placed and visually intriguing film that takes its time. And the score is by Italian maestro Ennio Morricone. So, you know, it’s perfect. The make-up and creature effects aren’t showy, but serve the story. With more wolf-like make-ups on Nicholson and Spader in the climax are beautiful, assisted by some nice animatronics. The final scenes are like poetry.
Bad Moon (1996)
Bad Moon is a thrilling horror werewolf flick from writer director Eric Red, based on the book Thor by Wayne Smith.
During an expedition in Nepal, photo-journalists Ted Harrison and his girlfriend Marjorie (Michael Pare & Johanna Marlowe) are attacked by a werewolf. Ted is bitten and Marjorie is killed before Ted kills the werewolf with an explosive shotgun blast to the head. Understanding what he now is, Ted returns to the USA and seeks isolation, living in a trailer next to a lake in the deep woods. He eventually invites his sister Janet and her son Brett (Mariel Hemingway and Mason Gamble) to visit him, hoping that contact with family will help cure him of his hairy lunar activities.
The next day, after authorities find human remains in the woods, fearing being found out, he accepts his sister’s invitation to live with them. Living in his trailer still, he is instantly at odds with the family dog, a very protective German shepherd named Thor (Primo). Thor can sense there is something not right about Ted. Leaving the house later that night, Thor finds Ted, in werewolf form, handcuffed to a tree. Ted tries to warn his sister by suggesting she take Thor’s change in mood seriously and that the recent attacks were done by a wolf. One night, Ted is unsuccessful in handcuffing himself to a tree before his turns. More people die and after this Ted’s behaviour starts to change as the evil starts to take him more and more.
I like this film. It is not the best werewolf movie out there, but I like Pare’s performance of the tortured man who wants to do no harm, but loses to the curse. Having the dog Thor as the hero is a nice touch, he even gets some great action hero moments, and the smack down between man’s best friend and werewolf are just great.
The creature effects, while criticised at the time, are rather effective, with the head and jaw of the creature moving like an actual wolf. The small cast, good story, cinematography and score all help make this a good and tense film that has a unique style. Red’s scripts for The Hitcher and Near Dark have good company here.
Dog Soldiers (2002)
Dog Soldiers is an action horror film from Niel Marshall, who wrote, edited and directed this, his debut feature.
Private Cooper (Kevin McKidd) is in a forest in North Wales. He is being tested by Captain Richard Ryan (Liam Cunningham) to join his special forces unit. But fails when he refuses to kill a dog. Four weeks later he is back with his army squad as they drop into the Scottish Highlands for a training exercise. Led by Sergeant Wells (Sean Pertwee) the small band includes Spoon, Bruce, Joe, and Terry (Thomas Lockyer, Darren Morfitt, Chris Robson & Leslie Simpson). They are to go up against Ryan’s special forces unit. But Ryan is using them as bait to capture a werewolf living in the woods. Ryan’s team is attacked and when Well’s squad finds the remains, Ryan is the only one alive. The squad gathers up Ryan, every weapon they can carry and head out. But when night falls, they are attacked by the 8 foot howling beasties, losing one and the Serg gets badly wounded. They are rescued by Megan (Emma Cleasby) and her SUV and head to the nearest farmhouse.
Here this story becomes a siege film. The soldiers trapped in a two-story farmhouse as a pack of 6 werewolves try to get in. Secrets are found out, motivations explained, and revelations realised. As the boys are picked off it’s down to Wells and Cooper to teach the bad dogs a lesson.
This is a low budget film that mixes the action and the horror damn near perfectly. It uses every ounce of what they have, and well planned out the production, to deliver something that looks way more expensive. It’s well-polished. The dialogue is a major standout. You feel these guys know each other. Every character gets their standout moment. None better than Pertwee’s monologue around the campfire which is chilling as humorous. The design of the lycanthropes is a nice touch too, having realistic wolf heads and muscular dancers and athletes wearing the costumes. Fucking Amazing!
Best Line: “We are now up against live, hostile targets. So, if Little Red Riding Hood should show up with a bazooka and a bad attitude, I expect you to chin the bitch”
Cursed (2004)
On the surface, this film looks like it would be amazing. A horror comedy directed by Wes Craven with an original script (before rewrites) from Kevin Williamson, and a cast of recognisable talent from the big and small screen. Looks can be deceiving.
Ellie Myers and her little brother Jimmy (Christina Ricci & Jesse Eisenberg) are driving home through Mulholland Drive, when they hit an animal and narrowly miss another car, which veers off the road and crashes. When the siblings try to rescue the driver Becky (Shannon Elizabeth), they are attacked by a creature that looks like a giant wolf. Becky is torn apart, and Ellie and Jimmy are bitten and scratched.
The next day the siblings start to experience changes. Attraction to blood, a heightened sense of smell, heightened hearing, eyesight and strength. And Jimmy starts to become more confident and aggressive. And considering he is constantly bullied by jock Bo (Milo Ventimiglia), it’s not so much a bad thing. Jimmy’s research online says werewolves, but Ellie thinks that is ridiculous. But when work gets stressful dealing with a crazy publicist Joanie (Judy Greer) and the odd turn in her relationship with Jake (Joshua Jackson), and the deaths of Jake’s past lovers, Ellie is not so sure. Turns out, Jake was born a werewolf. And the creature that attacked the Myers siblings was a sexual conquest of Jake’s that ended in lycanthropy. And she is killing to have him.
This is not a good film from a story/narrative standpoint. It’s disjointed and poorly executed. But it is still fun, both intentionally and unintentionally. A lot of that comes down to the actors’ reactions to the events as they unfold and the odd turns the narrative takes. Especially since it seems to want to tell three different stories in the one film. The interference of Bob and Harvey Weinstein didn’t help. Which is a shame because there is a good movie in here somewhere.
The werewolf effects range from cool to “What the Fuck is this Horseshit?”. They shouldn’t have fired Rick Baker. Some of the other cast include: Mya, Kristina Anapau, Nick Offerman, Scott Baio, Derek Mears as the werewolf & Portia de Rossi. Fun, passible entertainment, but so very flawed.
SkinWalkers (2007)
Skinwalkers is a 2007 horror action film from director James “Jim” Isaac. And with creature effects by Stan Winston Studios.
This is a “Chosen One” story. Which you don’t get too many of in werewolf movies. Here, there is a prophecy that a child will be born that can end the werewolf curse, which is passed down through the bloodline. So, people are born werewolves. One faction wants the child to succeed so they can live normal lives, and the other doesn’t see their affliction as a curse, but a way to power over humans. Here’s the thing, the prophecy is so old, that no one knows how the chosen one is supposed to do it.
The chosen one is young Timothy (Matthew Knight), who has been living his whole life in the small town of Huguenot with his mother Rachel (Rhona Mitra). The father is not in the picture and thought dead. They know nothing of the prophecy or that werewolves exist. But their extended family and the rest of the town are, being either werewolves themselves or believers. And they have been protecting the boy since his birth. But his 13th birthday, and the blood moon are both on the way. Tim’s Uncle Jonas (Elias) and his daughter Katherine (Sarah Carter) are worried about the coming event.
The other faction has split into four groups to hunt the boy. One led by Varek (Jason Behr) follows a clue to Huguenot. Other members of his crew are sexed up beast lady Sonya (Natassia Malthe), old biker hippie ZO (Kim Coates), and mute Grenier (Rogue Johnston) who uses a hawk to scout.
After a shoot out with the whole town, the crew miss the chosen one as a small band load up into an armoured RV and try to stay a step ahead of Varek, and his biker wolf pack.
What’s cool about this flick is the style of the filmmaking with great camera work and editing and the performances. The story is basic, but well told. The creature effects are unique and a welcome surprise. And a refreshing idea for the werewolf genre. But I think a bigger budget would have elevated the concept.
The Wolfman (2010)
The remake of The Wolfman is truly an example of a remake done right. Directed by Joe Johnston and written by Andrew Kevin Walker & David Self, the film covers some of the same plot points from the original, but does its own thing.
Set in 1891, Shakespearean actor Lawence Talbot (Benicio Del Toro), who has been living in America for so long he has lost his accent, journeys home to England after he learns of the death of his brother Ben at the hands of a wolf. He reunites with his estranged and cruel father Sir John (Anthony Hopkins). Ben was found mutilated and many in the nearby town blame the Romani gypsies camped outside the town limits. Lawerance has flashbacks to when he was a boy and the trauma around his mother’s apparent suicide.
While visiting the Romani camp, the townsfolk raid the camp and confiscate the dancing bear they believe is the killer. But everything is thrown in confusion when a werewolf attacks the camp, killing many and biting Lawrence. He is now cursed. The Romani gypsy Maleva (Geraldine Chaplin) gives Lawrence the lore and tells him that only a loved one can end the curse by killing the infected. Lawerance has been becoming very close with the fiancée of his dead brother Gwen (Emily Blunt), so there is only one option for ending the curse.
With more killing going on, Inspector Francis Aberline (Hugo Weaving) of Scotland Yard arrives to investigate. With the failure to catch Jack the Ripper, he is here to redeem his professional reputation. When Lawerance is arrested and imprisoned, his father comes to tell him that he, Sir John, is the original werewolf, infected many years ago while in India. And that he is responsible for the death of Lawerance’s mother and brother. Lawerance later escapes, and its wolf and against wolf.
This movie is amazing, dark, suspenseful, and heartbreaking. It’s well shot with a great sense of atmosphere, helped by Danny Elfman’s score, the talented cast and Rick Baker’s always stellar effects. It may have failed at the box office, but this remake pays homage to the original and gives us a Greek tragedy in all its hairy glory. It’s a damn near perfect horror film.
Wolf Cop (2014)
One of the quoted review lines on the back of the Blu-ray case for this film says, “Original and borderline insane”. And I can’t argue with that at all. Wolf Cop is a 2014 Canadian exploitation horror comedy written and directed by Lowell Dean.
Lou Garou (Leo Fafard) is an alcoholic cop in the small town of Woodhaven, who spends a lot of his time asleep at work or at Jessie’s Bar getting wasted and waking up with a strange person in his bed. Lou’s friend Willie (Jonathan Cherry) calls in a complaint about occult activity behind his gun store. The Chief (Aidan Devine) sends Lou to check it out, but deems it nothing. Investigating a second call later that night, Lou finds occultists in the middle of a ceremony sacrificing a politician and is promptly knocked out. When he wakes up, he is home. Thinking he blacked out after a drinking session, he goes to work, only to be called into help with the investigation of the death of said politician. But whilst there, he notices strange things. Like he now has superhuman senses.
And later that night, Lou transforms into a werewolf and takes out a bunch of thieves and thugs in gloriously gory fashion saving Jessie (Sarah Lind) at her bar. See, Lou was cursed with lycanthropy by magic welding shapeshifters, who once every 30 years or so must transform a ‘loser’ into the wolf and drain his blood on the lunar eclipse to stay alive and powerful. But they didn’t count on one thing. Lou’s excessive alcohol intake has made him more powerful and uncontrollable to the shape shifting occultists. A local gang leader (Jesse Moss) turns out to be a shifter, and Lou, after suping up his police crusher ‘Wolfman’ style, takes out the gang. With people’s identities in question, the only person he can trust is fellow strait-laced officer Tina (Amy Matysio).
Beautifully batshit crazy, his film delivers horror, gore, action all with a twisted sense of humour and a metric butt ton of fun. Everyone knew what kind of movie they were making and leaned into it. Lou’s first transformation scene while he is drunkenly taking a piss is a riot. Unhinged satire included. Highly recommended.
Bonus Review:
Full Eclipse (1993)
Full Eclipse is a 1993 action horror film with sci-fi elements, directed by Anthony Hickox and written by Richard Christian Matheson and Michael Reaves for HBO Pictures and released via the HBO cable network. But this TV movie isn’t like the others.
Max Dire (Mario Van Peebles) is a L.A. detective who is amazing at his job but is feeling the strain on his personal life. When Max’s partner Jim (Tony Denison) is shot in a hostage raid (he did say he was going to retire after getting married, he should have seen it coming), he is lost. But after a mysterious man injects a weird chemical into Jim’s IV, he is miraculously back at work the next day, ready to take down the bad guys. Which he does, displaying abilities mere mortals shouldn’t have. Jim later kills himself with a silver bullet made from his lucky silver dollar.
Max is then assigned to a high-ranking officer Adam Garou (the always great Bruce Payne), and meets a group of officers with troubled pasts. They are all part of a secret team of vigilante cops: Casey Spencer (Patsy Kensit), Doug Crane (Jason Beghe) Liza (Paula Marshall) and Ramon Perez (John Verea), are led by Garou to wipe out crime, with the aid of a serum that gives them beast like abilities and partly transforms them. Because Garou is a centuries old werewolf, and has been using his blood and brain chemistry to create soldiers. Max joins, but when Max and Casey become involved, the team breaks down. And it’s down to Max and Garou.
Coming at the boom of original cable films, this is an interesting concept for a werewolf movie, and not your usual gothic tale. The transformations are not 100% dude in a fursuit, but subtle make-up, lighting, body language and shot composition to get the point across. The action sequences go from good to hyperbolic quickly, with a polished style most bigger films didn’t have. Payne goes from subtle villain to moustache twirler, to psychotic werewolf effortlessly and looks like he is enjoying himself. Hickox does a great job here proving his talent for genre flicks, and with Gary Chang’s moody score, this lost gem is a Howling good time.
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Warlock No More: Goodbye Julian Sands.
Today, with a heavy heart and the eyes of a clairvoyant guiding the way, I have to mention the passing of an actor whose work I have loved and admired for a long while, Julian Sands.
Sands got a career boost in two critically acclaimed films in the 80s, the war drama The Killing Fields and the romantic lead in A Room With a View. And while there were other drama roles in films like Impromptu, The Browning Version and Leaving Las Vegas, it is his work in the Sci-Fi and Horror genres that left its impact on me. Ken Russell’s Gothic, the Warlock films (of which are some of my all-time favourites), and Arachnophobia cemented the actor in the hearts of horror fans. Sci-fi films and TV like The Tomorrow Man and Stargate SG-1, movies like The Naked Lunch and Boxing Helena proved he was a creative actor who could think outside the box. He also has done an impressive amount of voice work for animation and video games. He was even the voice of Q in James Bond radio plays.
I’ve seen most of his 156 credits because Sands was electric on screen. If I saw his name anywhere attached to a project, I’d go out of my way to watch it. And if he popped up unexpectedly, like playing Superman’s dad Jor-El in Smallville, it made me love the show just that little bit more.
But sadly…
On 13th January 2023, just after his 65th birthday, Sands, who was an avid mountaineer, went missing in Mount Baldy, California, in the San Gabriel Mountains, northwest of Los Angeles. Despite an investigation and intensive search, which were often hindered by storms, he was lost, disappeared in the wilderness.
Five months later, on 24th June 2023, human remains were found by hikers in the area where Sands disappeared. The remains were soon positively identified as the talented actor three days later.
He was a romantic lead, a villain, an action star, a dramatic thespian, a leading man, a character actor, a vampire, a werewolf, a phantom and a warlock. His unique voice will forever ring in my ears. I will miss him.
So, I’m going to review twelve of Julian Sand’s more unique, forgotten, and genre favourite films.
Gothic (1986)
Gothic is a 1986 British psychological horror film from artist and filmmaker Ken Russell. The film is a fictionalised retelling of Mary Shelly, her future husband Percy Bysshe Shelly, her stepsister Claire Clairmont as they visit Lord Byron, and his personal doctor John Polidori, at Bryon’s in Villa Diodati by Lake Geneva during the summer of 1816. This famous meeting of minds, cut off by a savage storm, engaged in a game of storytelling that led to the creation of the novel Frankenstein.
After dinner and drinks, Byron (Gabriel Byrne) presents a book of Phantasmagoria (ghost stories) and they all take turns from the book. This and the following séance performed around a human skull, unleash a force into the house that uses the most hidden fears of the house’s occupants against them. Claire (Myriam Cyr) fears loneliness and rats, Mary (Nastasha Richardson) fears death of loved ones and the loss of her child, Shelly (Julian Sands) fears losing his mind and Polidori (Timothy Spall) fears damnation for his homosexuality. I haven’t figured out Bryon’s fear in the movie yet. But he is an ego driven hedonist who loves playing games with people’s minds. So, there is that.
What the characters experience might all be hallucinations from the large amount of opium they consumed. It is never spelled out, which I think makes it all the more wickedly delightful. The camera work, lighting and imagery (especially that based on Henry Fuseli’s 1781 painting The Nightmare) are amazing to witness. And made more hypnotic and disturbing in places by the sound design and the music by Thomas Dolby whose synth-based score adds an otherworldly nature to the period piece. Sands and Richardson are standouts, acting out past traumas with heart wrenching brilliance.
Sands had this to say about the film:
I think these portraits are rooted in reality. If people think otherwise, it’s because of the later Victorian whitewash of them. These were not simply beautiful Romantic poets. They were subversive, anarchic hedonists pursuing a particular line of amorality. The film portrays Lord Byron as demonic and Shelley as on the verge of madness, but the film is an expressionist piece, and that’s not an unreasonable expression of their realities.
Murder on the Moon / Murder by Moonlight (1989)
Whichever title you remember, this is a 1989 Sci-Fi Murder Mystery TV movie directed by director Michael Lindsay-Hogg.
The film takes place in the future time of 2015. On a mining facility on the moon, an American mining corporation has leased land rights from the Russian government in return for a piece of the profits from the operation. After the facility’s security chief turns up dead outside on the lunar surface in a mine shaft without a spacesuit, an investigation takes place. But his being Russian territory, they have jurisdiction. But after the head of the facility Dennis Huff (Gerald McRaney) throws a fit, NASA sends up an investigator, Maggie Bartok (Brigitte Nielsen) to assist.
The Russian investigator, KGB Specialist Maj. Stepan Gregorivitj Kirilenko (Julian Sands) at first sees her as an obstacle and a nuisance, but after dealing by NASA’s Alvarado (Ricco Ross) and Russia’s General Voronov (Brian Cox) things are smoothed out on both sides to allow the two mismatched investigators to continue to take down the murderer without government or company interference.
With suspicions around evidence (or lack thereof), political tensions, who is sleeping with whom, embezzlement that could lead to the bribery of a high ranking Russian official, Bartok and Kirilenko are at a loss. Until a half-remembered conversion from one of the miners leads them to a clue involving a South American terrorist who was responsible from starting World War 3 hiding on the base after surgery to alter their appearance.
Even with an interesting premise, this remains a basic murder mystery story that could have taken place anywhere or when. The novelty of the sci-fi setting gives the film a fresh, if dated, look. Although it does stuffer from an 80s TV movie budget. The model of the station on the lunar surface looks like a G.I. Joe playset.
Sands once again stands out in his role, with Nielsen’s stature and beauty doing most of the work for her. And the reveal of who the killer/terrorist is, was an interesting twist, well for the time anyway. Some could say it is problematic in today’s climate, but I think it was back then too.
Check it out on YouTube to see what I mean.
Tale of a Vampire (1992)
This film is often classed as a horror film, but it is more of a dark romantic drama with some horror, that being the main character is a vampire. Co-written and directed by Shimako Sato, based on the writings of Edgar Allan Poe, is a beautiful and tragic story of an immortal man searching for his lost love.
The tale centres around Alex (Julian Sands), the titular vampire, who survives for the most part on the blood of animals and spends his evenings in a charmingly antiquated library where he is researching his PhD thesis on religious martyrs. Which is a ruse for searching for information on his lost vampire lover Virginia Clemm (Suzanna Hamilton), who went missing centuries ago after they were chased out of the town they were living in by an angry mob.
In another part of town Anne (also played by Hamilton) mourns the death of her boyfriend who died in a tragic accident. After receiving a mysterious message informing her that a position has opened at the library that Alex frequents, she is soon hired. Alex is enchanted by Anne, seeing his lost love in her.
In the city, a series of strange deaths have been taking place, some directly around Alex. His low profile is in danger of slipping. Soon a mysterious man in a hat named Edgar (Kenneth Cranham) starts visiting the library, and tries befriending Anne. He is an intriguing figure who is not what he appears. As Alex and Anne get closer, Edgar tells Anne that Alex is a vampire. With both of the leads in pain for the loss of lovers, Anne begs Alex to turn her. Which he refuses. When Edgar turns out to also be a vampire, and the husband of Virginia who. He is seeking revenge, and Anne is his collateral damage.
This is a slow and mediative story. With its very deliberate staging, lighting, camerawork and quirky characters all experience a different pain derived from loss, it’s not a film you can digest easily. But it is worth it. Sato does a marvellous job with the story she wants to tell. Sands is heartbreaking as Alex. A lyrically beautiful and overlooked film. Flaws and all.
Vibes (1988)
This is one of those movies that flopped when it was released in the 80s, and has become a cult favourite since. Vibes is a romantic adventure comedy directed by Ken Kwapis starring an eclectic collection of actors, featuring a perfectly weird story.
After a pre-credit sequence showing an ill-fated expedition into a ruined city somewhere, we open at a research facility in New York where Dr Harrison Steele (Julian Sands) and his team are running tests on different types of psychics. Among them is the un-lucky in love quirky girls from Queens Sylvia Pickel (Cyndi Lauper) who is a trance-medium, and the neurotic Nick Deezy (Jeff Goldblum) who is a psychometrist (he touches things and knows its history). While Syliva’s overly flirtatious nature turns some people off, she is a good person.
One night, after returning home helping ungrateful ex-boyfriend Fred (Steve Buscemi), she finds a strange man in her apartment. Harry (Peter Falk) wants her help to travel to Ecuador to find his missing son for the sum of $50,000. Syliva and Harry then convince the unwilling Nick to accompany them. Once in Ecuador, they discover Harry lied about the lost son, as is really there to find a lost city with a mythical room of gold somewhere in the mountains. When they are all on the same page, and after people start trying to kill them, including a fellow member of the psychic study Ingo (Googy Gress), a psychopath with an ever-changing accent, they journey into the mountains. Soon the villain behind everything is revealed to be Dr Steele who forces our reluctant heroes to help him find the lost city and its powerful psychic force so he can bring ‘order’ to the world.
This film feels like a film of the 80s and a screwball comedy of the glory days of Hollywood, mixing the snappy dialogue and witty one lines with the balls to the walls story excess of the decade with the most. Lauper (in her first movie role), Goldblum and Falk are the best they have ever been. The comedy and word play is wonderfully delivered, even with a weak story. Sands and the other villains don’t really have much to do here. Always a favourite.
The Medallion (2003)
The Medallion is fantasy action comedy from 2003 directed by Gordon Chan, who co-wrote the script with four other people, and stars the action legend Jackie Chan.
Eddie Yang (Chan) is a Hong Kong detective who has been assigned to work with Interpol in the capture of an infamous crime lord AJ “Snakehead” Staul (played with moustache twirling perfection by Julian Sands). The head of the Interpol operation in Hong Kong is Agent Arther Warson (Lee Evans) who is at odds with Eddie in how to do things. The team rush to a tip that Snakehead is at a nearby temple. The villain steals a mystical medallion and the chosen one who guards it, an otherworldly child. Eddie messes up their plans, but gets away. But Eddie has seen his face.
Eddie back with Hong Kong Police, stakes out Snakeheads local operations and witnesses the thugs kidnapping the boy he saw in the temple and smuggle him out of the country, heading for Snakehead’s compound in Dublin. Eddie is on the next plane.
Once in Ireland at Interpol headquarters, he is greeted with a slap by old flame Nicole (Claire Forlani) and the head of operations Cmdr. Hammerstock-Smythe (John Ryhs-Davies), who assigns Eddie to work with Nicole and Watson, who remains reluctant.
In the course of the investigation, they find and attempt to rescue the boy, but Eddie is killed. The chosen one uses the medallion and later in the morgue, Eddie is back from the dead, along with incredible strength and supernatural powers. This is the very power Snakehead wants for himself. Which he does later in the film. DUH! Which makes the final battle all the much more fun.
This is a unique superhero origin story and a classic Jackie Chan style action film with the well-choreographed fight scenes and humour. While some of the wire work and early 2000s CGI is a little distracting, it’s a fun little film. But it is not one of my favourites. While all the actors get their chance to shine, especially the main cast, the story does not live up to the potential of the premise. The film didn’t know who its audience was. Evans is funny as always. But needed more Sands.
Warlock (1989)
Warlock is a 1989 supernatural fantasy action horror film directed by Steve Miner (Friday the 13th 2 & 3, Halloween H2O) and written by David Twohy (The Fugitive, Pitch Black).
In 1691 in Boston, Massachusetts, the witch-hunter Redferne (Richard E Grant) captured the Warlock (Julian Sands). The evil doer is imprisoned awaiting trial and execution by hanging and burning over a basket of live cats. Why are the puritans such dicks to cats? The Warlock escapes his binds and is propelled into the future, accidentally taking Redferne with him.
In modern day Los Angeles, the Warlock crashes through the window of a house where Chas and his roommate Kassandra (Lori Singer) live, waking them both up. They take care of him and the next morning after Kass leaves for work, the Warlock kills Chas. The Warlock visits a psychic to speak to a demon. The dark lord reveals to the Warlock that he is here to find the pagers of the Grand Grimoire, separated centuries ago into three pieces and holds the power to un-do creation.
When Redferne finally turns up, and after a run in with L.A. finest, he and Kassandra (who has been cursed) head across the country in pursuit of the Warlock and prevent him from getting the book.
This film is a little hard to categorise, but I think that works for the film. The story does do what is unexpected, by somehow adheres to genre conventions. Singer’s old age make-up doesn’t hold up well, and some of the opticals needed more work, but these are small concerns. A good premise, a fine cast and a kick ass score from Jerry Goldsmith make it worth your while, even if it does have the occasional pacing issue.
Grant, in a rare hero role, is wonderful and it’s a shame he didn’t get more roles like this. His accent slips here and there, but he is able to deliver ridiculous lines with a straight face and kick ass. But it’s the charming and disarming villain played by Sands which was the stand out of this film. This role elevated him to star status, and he would dip into the horror genre regularly after this. A devilish cult classic worth your time.
Warlock: The Armageddon (1993)
Directed by Anthony Hickox, the sequel to the 1989 film is a far superior flick.
The film centres around a new Warlock, and Satan’s son, (again played by Julian Sands) as he journeys from New York to a small town in California searching for the Infinity Stones… Sorry, I mean, six magical Druid rune stones. When brought together in the right place can free Satan from the pit. So, for our evil doer, it’s like a supernatural heist as he tries to bust daddy out of prison. The current owners of each of the stones come to an elaborate and creative end when they meet the charming Warlock.
The other part of the story is about Kenny Travis and Samantha Ellison (Christ Young & Paula Marshall), two kids living a small-town America who just so happen to be the last line of Druids, and predestined Druidic Warriors. Kenny’s father Will (the motherfucking Captain himself, Steve Kahan), and his two friends, Franks and Ethan (R.G. Armstrong and Charles Hallahan) have kept the Druidic faith, but Sam’s father Ted (Bruce Glover) split away after the death of his wife, and fearing for his daughter’s Destiny, became the town priest. Hehe, he’s Father Ted.
But to fulfill their destinies of becoming Jedi Knights… Sorry, Druid warriors, the teenagers may die and be reborn before they can be trained to face the Warlock and save the world. So that is what they do, but then the Warlock arrives in his Armani suit and starts fucking shit up.
This film is way more fun than the first. The story moves at a good pace, there is good development for the principal characters, the production design is damn impressive, as are the dream-like temptation sequences the Warlock puts the owners of the stones through, like something out of an Elm Street sequel. The gore effects, especially the Warlock’s death, is dripping gross and cool looking. The only place the film has not aged well, is with the early CGI effects used in the sequences where the characters are using magic or telekinesis to move objects. Hickox knocks it out of the park
Imaginative, full of wicked fun, cool performances and Sands steals the show with his evil cool.
Arachnophobia (1990)
Itsy Bitsy spider went up the water spout, down came the blood and flushed the humans out…
Arachnophobia is a certified cult classic horror comedy from director Frank Marshall and Spielberg’s Amblin Entertainment. And it’s not a film you want to be watching if you don’t like creepy crawlies.
The film opens in Venezuelan tepui, and British entomologist James Atherton (Julian Sands) welcomes his new photographer Jerry Manley (Mark L Taylor) to the jungle. He has been hired to take photos of the specimens they find and the surrounding jungle. They find a previously undiscovered species of spider that is aggressive, intelligent and works in a hive (atypical of spiders).
Back at camp, Manely is bitten by one of these beasties and dies. His body is packed in a coffin and sent home to Canaima, California, but with a stowaway.
In Canaima, the same day the body arrives from Venezuela, the new doctor and his family arrive in town and to their new home. Dr Ross Jennings (Jeff Daniels), wife Molly (Harley Jane Kozak) are unaware that the Venezuelan super spider takes residence in their barn. It mates with a local breed of spider and creates a very deadly strain. Which spread out into the town and start doing the bitey bitey thing with people turning up dead being a side effect.
After the spider’s are determined to be the cause of death, Dr Atherton and his assistant Chris Collins (Brian McNamara) are called in to investigate and help eradicate the infestation, with a little help from the local and eccentric pest exterminator Delbert McClintock (John Goodman). But the two spider parents won’t give up without a fight.
The creature effects here are wonderful. The dead bodies, especially Manley’s desiccated corpse, are creepy, and the fertile male and queen spiders when interacting with humans, are effective puppets. But for the most part, they used real spiders. Some big tarantulas for the angry parents, and a lot of Australian and New Zealand Huntsman spiders, because of their unique look, their galloping stride and the ease to work with.
The cinematography and Trevor Jones’s score build the tension until bursting. Great performances across the board with Daniels and Goodman standing out, and Sands playing it straight.
The Phantom of the Opera (1998)
This is Italian director Dario Argento’s adaptation of Gaston Leroux’s gothic romantic novel about love and obsession, Le Fantôme de l’Opéra. This is where the once brilliant director that influenced many starts to lose his creative moxie.
In 1877 Paris, an abandoned newborn baby is sent floating down the river and is rescued and raised by rats in the catacombs under the Paris opera house. Think Oswald Cobblepot without the penguins. He becomes the Phantom (Julian Sands), a misanthrope who is more handsome than his other film counterparts, who kills anyone who ventures into his underground world. He falls in love with Christine Daae (Asia Argento) who entranced him with her singing voice. He reveals himself to her, and she is intrigued by this stranger. He can speak to her via telepathy too. Which is useful, I suppose. And the two start a romantic relationship. The aristocratic Baron Raoul De Chagny (Andrea Di Stefano), looking like a cross between an angsty teenager and a goth date rapist, is also in love with Christine.
The Phantom uses his knowledge of the catacombs and the opera house to kill, traumatise and threaten, so advance Christine’s career. But this and the tragic love story, seem to be the only real elements lifted from the classic story. The obsession with rats gets creepy, the kills are gut churning gory, and the subplots, one about a crazed rat catcher and the other about a rich paedophile trying to bed the pre-pubescent opera students are unnecessary. There seems to be about 30mins worth of story, and the rest is a series of sex scenes and on-screen deaths that have little to do with the overall story.
That being said, Argento’s films always look amazing, and this one is not different. A wonderful use of light, colour and shadows give the environments an otherworldly and claustrophobic feel. The two leads, Sands and Asia Argento do their utmost best with the material and are highlights. Especially Sands who portrays barely contained rage to skin crawling brilliance. Also effective is his gentle reactions with Christine, until it all goes belly up. Unfortunately, these elements are not enough to save the film. The film is not boring, but it’s a mess.
Rose Red (2002)
Rose Red is a 2002 mini-series written by Stephen King (an original screenplay) and directed by Craig R. Baxley. The story takes inspiration from the Winchester Mystery House and Shirley Jackson’s The Haunting.
It centres around Dr. Joyce Reardon’s (Nancy Travis) obsession with the haunted Rose Red mansion and her desire to find proof of paranormal phenomena. She continually has to defend her field of paranormal psychology from cruel and dismissive people, not more so the head of the University’s Psych department, Professor Carl Miller (David Dukes). The current owner of the Rose Red estate, Steve Rimbauer (Matt Keeslar) agrees to rent her the property over a weekend and Reardon assembles her team to wake up the now dormant house and get her proof.
Her team of traumatised psychics are Victor “Vic” Kamdinsky (Kevin Tighe), and elderly precognate with a heart condition; Pam Asbury (Emily Deschanel), a young psychometric; Cathy Kramer (Judith Ivey), a middle aged automatic writer, Nick Hardaway (Julian Sands), a telepath with remote viewing capabilities; and Emery Waterman (Matt Ross), a young post-cognate with mother and financial issues, and an autistic teenager Annie Wheaton (Kimberly J Brown), accompanied by her big sister Rachel (Melanie Lynsky), who maybe be the most power psychic on the lot and the key to finding answers and getting the team out alive.
We learn about the history of the house and its eccentric and haunted owner Ellen Rimbauer (Julia Campbell), the evil consciousness of the house, and the personalities of the team and their backstories as the first and second parts play out. The tension builds at a steady pace as the supernatural gets stronger and the characters start to lose it, and then start getting bumped off.
King’s original mini-series, this and Storm of the Century, are beautifully made and creepy stories. And Rose Red is a great ghost story. Baxley does a get job behind the camera, as he did with Storm and Kingdom Hospital, and the score is effective, but some of the effects were limited by a TV budget.
Shout out to Travis who’s obsessed Reardon loses it in spectacular fashion, and Sands as a Yoda-like, charming and caring good guy. In a genre property? Yeah, who knew that was allowed.
Naked Lunch (1991)
When Alice went down the rabbit hole, she found a world of beauty, danger, imagination, and mad characters (because the best people are). But some trips down the rabbit hole are subtle, twisted and strange, populated by nightmarish but charming characters and dream logic. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Naked Lunch.
David Cronenberg’s adaptation of William S. Burrow’s supposedly un-filmable novel is a mind-bending tale in a league of its own, featuring talking insect typewriters, strange green creatures with a nicotine habit, covert government operations, sex the Cenobites would approve of, and a pest control power that conventionally doubles as a narcotic. So, fun for the whole family.
In 1953, exterminator William Lee (Peter Weller) finds out his wife Joan (Judy Davis) is stealing his bug power and shooting up with it. Later, he is taken into police custody on drug charges and is introduced to a giant beetle-like insect in a box that informs him through an asshole-like mouth behind its wings, that Lee is a secret agent and must kill his wife Joan who is a spy for Interzone Inc. Shortly after he accidentally kills her doing the old William Tell routine and flees, after buying a typewriter, to Interzone, a city located somewhere in North Africa.
In Interzone, his typewriter morphs into a different kind of insect and gives him instructions as he writes his reports. He meets drug manufacturer Hans (Robert A Silverman), two American writers, Tom and Joan Frost (Ian Holm and Davis), who are both her for the boys and the drugs. See, Interzone has a somewhat relaxed environment when it comes to homosexuality and drugs, and officials are paid to look elsewhere. Which is the ideal place for rich, charming and predatory Yves (Julian Sands) who becomes a giant bug and eats his sexual conquests, and Dr Benway (Roy Scheider) the mastermind of everything.
This movie is an experience, as the original book is. Full of trippy hallucinations, otherworldly creatures, snappy dialogue, unique performances from the talented cast, and beautiful and unsettling production design. And it’s wrapped up in an old school film noir aesthetic, right down to the saxophone driven score and the opening titles.
Like the film says, “Exterminate all rational thought”.
Crooked House (2017)
Crooked House is a film adaptation of the Agatha Christie novel of the same name. It was first broadcast digitally in England on Channel 5 in December 2017, and a week later on cinema screens in the U.S.
Sophia Leonides (Stefanie Martini) hires old flame, now private detective, Charles Hayward (Max Irons) to investigate the death of her grandfather Greek-British business tycoon Aristide Leonides, whom she believes has been murdered but one of her other family members. After a conversation with his father’s old friend at Scotland Yard, Chief Inspector Taverner (Terance Stamp), he agrees to take the case, but keeping Taverner informed.
When Hayward arrives at the Leonides estate, he finds all the family live under the same roof. And he meets them in the course of starting his investigation. The marvellously eccentric Lady Edith de Haviland (Glen Close), Sophia’s parents Phillip and Magda (Julian Sands and Gillian Anderson) a failed academic and actress respectively, and their other children, the extremely intelligent Josephine (Honor Kneafsey) and Eustace (Preston Nyman). There is also failed business man Roger and his botanist wife Clemency (Christian McKay and Amanda Abbington), and the second wife of Aristide, the American ex-showgirl Brenda (Christina Hendrick), who has been having an affair with her late husband’s biographer, Laurence Brown (John Heffernan).
The mystery unfolds as Hayward weaves his way through the bitter hateful family, all with their own axes to grind and all with their secrets to keep. And it all comes to a climax with one of Christie’s best endings.
This is a very well-made film directed by Gilles Paquet-Brenner, and sits perfectly between the locked room mysteries and the hard-boiled pulp gumshoes of the American P.I. style fiction. It may not be as flashy as the more recent Kenneth Branagh’s Hercule Poirot adaptations, but there is enough here to keep you invested in the story.
The performances are what we are here for. Close is good as always, the two leads played by Irons and Martini are perfectly cast, but it’s the characters of the youngest daughter Josephine played by Kneafsey, are her failed artistic parents played by Sands and Anderson, which are the most interesting. The latter two not having as much screen time as they deserved. Recommended.
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Exploiting Wonderland 