The second set of reviews originally posted to social media detailing the eclectic and baffling taste in film by myself and my long-suffering friends. Enjoy.

The Batman (2022)

Yeah, I know. I’m a bad movie/comic book geek. I only got around to watching this film a week ago, despite the fact that I had bought the film on disc before Christmas. It was one of those very busy periods, struggling mental health journeys and concern about R-Patz stepping into the Bruce Wayne/Batman role. And especially with this last one, much like the Heath Ledger Joker concern, my worries seem silly now.

Wow!

I enjoy this movie on so many levels. This film is set up like a Murder Mystery/How Done It with a dash of the hunt for a serial killer. Yeah, I know. A film about the world’s greatest detective (no, not Columbo) who actually does some detecting.

Set in the second year of Batman’s (Robert Patterson) existence as a crimefighter, we see he is already a known commodity in Gotham. He is affecting the way criminals operate and he has a working relationship with James Gordon (Jeffery Wright), here a Lieutenant, as he is brought in to consultant on the recent death of the mayor by a character, we later find out is The Riddler (Paul Dano).

This leads the Batman on a investigation wear he meets Selina Kyle before Catwoman (Zoe Kravitz), mob boss Carmine Falcone (John Turturro), and he under boss Oswald “The Penguin” Cobblepot. The investigation also leads to secrets about his parents Thomas and Martha, that my tarnish Bruce’s memory of them. Alfred, played perfectly by Andy Serkis, is the only constant in his life, and the best parent you could hope for.

Personally, I didn’t think Matt Reeves could direct this movie. I was wrong there too. Handling the technical side and story and performance side of production wonderfully. While, I do have notes, they are not many. Grieg Fraser’s cinematography is fucking amazing. Hitting every shot like is a moving painting of mayhem. He truly commands light and shadow, like a wizard of silent film.

I do rate this. Highly. Can’t wait for the next one.

Cocaine Bear (2023)

Sometimes when you go to the cinema, you want an event. Or at the very least something odd and fun. When myself and one of the best humans on the planet headed to the air-conditioned comfort of the movie theatre, that is exactly what we got in Cocaine Bear. After the trailer was a jaw dropping WTF moment, we had to see this.

The film is loosely based on a true story of a black bear that ingested 75 lbs or 34 kg of lost cocaine in a national forest in 1985 and died of a resulting overdose.

These facts, except the bear dying, are all elements in the story within the film. Drug smuggler Thronton (Matthew Rhys) coked up, dumps millions of dollars of cocaine out of the plane into the national forest. But he doesn’t make it. The bear finds cocaine, eats it and goes apeshit. Attacking anyone it finds, and searching the forest for more of the white powder.

Syd (Ray Liotta, in his last role) tasks Daveed (O’Shea Jackson Jr) to collect his grieving son Eddie (Alden Ehrenreich) and get into that forest and find the drugs before the drug cartels find out.

Also crossing the bear’s path are detective Bod (Isiah Whitlock Jr), trying to find the drugs, two park rangers, two hikers (one played by GOT star Kristofer Hivju), three delinquent punks, two paramedics and a worried mother Sari (Keri Russell) trying to find her daughter Dee Dee (Brooklynn Prince) and her friend Henry (Christian Convery).

Now, if you didn’t already know, this is a comedy. An irreverent dark comedy that plays  not only on the nature run amok and slasher genres, but also on your expectations. It’s almost like a ‘what if’ that got out of hand, or a coked-up movie pitch that went too far. Either way, this movie is wild. It has cult classic written all over it. The scene with the paramedics is my fav. The CGI elements to the bear are not distracting. And the soundtrack is freaking amazing. This is Elizabeth Bank’s best directorial effort so far and I hope she gives us more like this inspired lunacy.

5 out of 5 severed limbs.

Tales From The Crypt (1972)

Years before cable television, Warner Bros and a group of talented producers created one of the best and most iconic television shows in modern history based on EC Comics, a little British production studio gave it a shot.

In 1972, Amicus Studios, Hammer Studios major competition, made an anthology horror film based on stories from the (also) iconic comics book series.  Directed by Oscar winning cinematographer Freddie Francis, the film is made up of five stories with a linking wrap around.

That is, a group of five tourists enjoying a guided tour of historical caves, get separated from the others and find themselves in a larger chamber with a stone throne. And on that throne is the Crypt Keeper (Sir Ralph Richardson). And one by one he shows them each the manner of their ending

Story #1 Joan Collins gets shown a terrifying Christmas nightmare after she kills her husband. Story #2 A businessman leaves his family for his secretary only to get into a car accident, wakes up with everything different and finds he was dead all along. #4 This is a rift on the old monkey’s paw tales, but in a middle-class English household. #5 Being the most vicious tale, it takes place in a home for the blind, as the patients get bloody revenge on the new head of administration. But it is the 3rd tale which is the most effective. This revolves around an arrogant elitist who takes a dislike to a kind old garbage man who lives across the road. The old man (Peter Cushing), opens his home to everyone in the neighbourhood, especially children as he and his late wife never had any of their own. But his neighbour thinks he is basically an eye saw, and systematically destroys his life. And it seems to end the old man’s suicide. That is until the old man comes back from the grave. Cushing’s zombie makeup alone is worth admission.

Old school British horror is a weakness with me. It’s bloody, atmospheric, a little campy, and always packed with good performances. It’s like comforting childhood cartoons for this horror geek.

Castle Freak (1995)

This little horror film was produced and released by the amazing Full Moon Features, led by the only independent filmmaker to rival Roger Corman, the beautiful oddball that is Charles Band. If you don’t know Full Moon or Charles Band, the google search bar awaits you.

But this film also reunites cult director Stuart Gordon with his Re-Animator/From Beyond leads Jeffery Combs and Barbara Crampton. It’s also the third HP Lovecraft adaptation from the trio.

The story centres around John Reilly (Combs) and his family as they travel to Italy to take possession of a castle that John has inherited. But hidden in the castle is a secret (isn’t there always). John’s half-brother Giorgio, thought dead as an infant, who had been beaten and torture by his mother Duchess D’Orsire from a young age, has been transformed into a brutal and deformed monster. And he is still chained up in the bowels of the castle. And of course, he frees himself when the new arrivals move in, and not understanding the world, wreaks havoc.

Another element to the tale which is a story that works well is that John is a recovering alcoholic after hitting rock bottom with a car accident that killed his young son and blinded his teenage daughter Rebecca (Jessica Dollarhide). Something his wife Susan (Crampton) can’t forgive him for.

This is not as iconic a horror film as Re-Animator or From Beyond, and is not a great film compared to the other at all (probably down to budget) but it is a good story and damn entertaining. Combs and Crampton’s performances elevate all. The film’s themes of grief and redemption are well grafted as is the idea that the damage parents can inflict on the children can have devastating effects.

The gothic visuals are amazing as they set an old school horror feel to a modern story, and it is largely down to filming in a real European castle. The creature and make-up effects deserve a mention, as they are some of the best I have seen in a straight to video film of the 90s. Bloody Marvellous.

Blood Simple (1984)

Blood Simple, is simply put, a classic film. At least in my little twisted little mind. This American neo-noir crime thriller was written, directed, produced and edited by (under the name Roderick James) Joel and Ethan Coen. After watching the film for the first time, you may be surprised that it was the duo’s debut feature. It shocked me. The film is stunning.

It is a simple story, but some of the best olds are. Ray (John Getz) and Abby (Francis McDormand) are in love and having an affair. And Abby’s husband, the rich and sleazy bar owner Marty (Dan Hedaya) is not happy about it. He hires a PI, Loren Visser (M Emmet Walsh) to find them. Which he does, complete with photos. After Marty is humiliated when he tries to get revenge, he hires Visser again. This time to kill the pair for the grand sum of $10,000. But Visser double crosses Marty, and sets in motion a course of events that not only puts the lovers in compromising situations, test their love and faith in each other, but also puts them in Visser’s crosshairs.

The film has been celebrated for its cocktail of neo-noir (Film Noir with the lights on), pulp crime fiction and low-budget horror. The last one can be seen in the use of shadows smoke in certain shots, moving cameras and extreme close ups used throughout the film. The Coen’s replicated some of these from the film of their friend and horror movie icon Sam Raimi’s Evil Dead.

A big shout out to the climax of this film. Not only are the performances from Francis McDormand and M Emmet Walsh amazing and vesical, (this also being an against type role for Walsh), but the cinematography by future director Barry Sonnenfeld make this ending one film geeks go ape crazy and film academics have analysed for years. Still one of my favourite endings. EVER.

If you are lucky enough to have the DVD or Blu-Ray, check out the fake trailer the Coen’s made to sell the film to investors, featuring a blink and you’ll miss him, Bruce Campbell.

The Abominable Dr. Phibes (1971)

Okay, when old horror hounds sit down and watch a movie, there is no telling what we are going to choose. Silent era maybe, or a universal monster flick? A Hammer horror classic perhaps, or something more serious and art house? No, this time he watched a little cult film from American International Picture neither of us had seen. The Vincent Price vehicle The Abominable Dr Phibes.

Directed by Robert Fuest, the film sees Price’s Dr Phibes killing off doctors and medical staff he deems responsible for the death of his wife (an uncredited Caroline Munro) following a car accident that left him without a face. His killing spree is inspired by the ten plagues of Egypt from the Old Testament. He even leaves amulets featuring Hebrew characters behind at every very strange and elaborate killing. The police, led by Inspector Trout (Peter Jeffery, and his amazing nose) and the head doctor that tried to save Phibes’ wife, Dr Vesalius (the legendary Joseph Cotton).

To say this is a strange movie is an understatement. It’s batshit loopy. The beautiful and seeming out of place visuals are a treat to look at. From the murder set pieces, to the sets and costumes (the clockwork musicians stand out). It has a psychedelic, dream-like quality from some of Roger Corman late 60s and early 70s work. So not only does Vincent Price fit right in, so does the comedy. Because the humour runs from the puns and visual quips to some rather viciously dark humour.

The scene where a doctor is run through but a catapulted brass unicorn head as the police try to protect him is hilarious enough. But the police have to screw the victim out of the wall. I seriously lost it at that point. I thought I was going to wet myself. And Vincent Price’s physical performance is outstanding. And there are also elements that seem to have inspire scenes in Saw and V For Vedetta.

This movie is awesomely cool. And I have no idea why I hadn’t seen it before. Can’t wait to watch the sequel.

Cut (2000)

I remember reading about this Australian horror film in the Filmink magazine many years ago, and I so wanted to watch it. And I did, duh. I do recall really digging this little flick. But I hadn’t watched it since its release 23 years ago. Shit, I feel old.

Directed by Kimble Rendall, this film sees a bunch of film school students setting up a film shoot to finish an abandoned 20-year-old horror film called Hot Blooded where the director Hilary Jacobs (Kylie Minogue, yeah you read that right) was killed on set by the actor playing the killer Scarman. And ever since the original film was shut down, every time someone has tried to finish the movie, people die. So, there is this curse element to the story which sets up the tension and the kills.

Our final girls are the student director Raffy (Jessica Napier) who wants to finish her mother’s movie and the original star from the production Vanessa Turnbill (Molly Ringwald, yeah you read that right again), who killed the bad guy 20 years ago. The other students/cannon fodder are played by Australian talent like Stephen Curry, Sarah Kants, Cathy Adamek, and Geoff Revell.

It is a solid little movie, but some of the edited montages and soundtrack scream of trying way too hard, and are a little distracting. It is not as gory as other entries in the slasher genre, even the M rated (PG-13 in the U.S.) variety.

Spoiler Alert Ahead. But the biggest misstep is the revelation that the killer Scarman, is the evil born of all the creativity poured into the original film. That’s right. The killer is a fictional character, like a tulpa, given form by the filmmakers. There is no lead up or foreshadowing, it is just dropped in our laps like a severed head in the last 20 minutes. It is a concept handled better by Wes Craven in New Nightmare six years previous. Which is sad because the film seems to be riffing on that film and Craven’s Scream franchise. There is a great movie in here, but as it stands it is merely a fun one. Which is still okay by me.

Blind Date (1987)

In the early 80s, Bruce Willis was first an extra then a TV guest star, before landing the role of David Addison in the amazing TV comic drama Moonlighting in 1985. But before he landed the career exploding role of John McClane in Die Hard in 1988 (a controversial choice at the time), Bruce appeared in his first leading role in a feature film in the Blake Edwards comedy, Blind Date.

Busy workaholic executive Walter Davis (Willis) needs a date for a big work dinner function to make a good impression of his boss. He allows his brother, Ted (Phil Hartman) and his sister-in-law Susie (Stephine Faracy) to set him up on a blind date with Susie’s cousin, Nadia (Kim Basinger) who just moved into town. He finally agrees, but he is warned by his brother not to let Nadia drink alcohol because it causes a chemical imbalance and she gets ‘wild’. Can you see what happens yet?

First they go to an art exhibit where they connect so you can see their chemistry, but flee after Nadia’s insane ex-boyfriend, David (John Larroquette) turns up and causes a scene. They stop off at a record studio and share a glass of champagne. And then the sweet Nadia’s behaviour starts to change.

The business dinner is a nightmare, Walter gets fired, they are stalked all night by David, they are mugged, David gets into a fight, his car is stripped, and later arrested. The ending is a triumph that I will not spoil.

The film is full of slapstick, physical comedy, wild reactions and witty word play. This is like a classic screwball comedy of the 40s and 50s. It’s Blake Edwards, most famous for the Pink Panther series and the movie ‘10’, doing a romantic comedy that is heavy on the comedy.

Willis has never been cooler on screen and handles the comedy like a pro, as does Basinger. But it’s the line delivery of William Davis who plays David’s father, Judge Harold Bedford, that really steals the show. My friends and I have been quoting the character for days.

It’s a really fun film, made by a master filmmaker, that makes you wonder why Willis didn’t do more comedies like this.